Simple Tips on Holding Space for Ourselves

In today's world, we are constantly connected to everything and everyone around us such as social media and smart devices. Yet, the world often feels more disconnected than ever, especially if you are neurodivergent community or have a mental illness. Why? Because when we take time to prioritize our mental health and symptoms, it is often frowned upon, leading us to disconnect from our thoughts and feelings, leading to us masking and neglecting our emotional well-being.

I know this because I used to do it myself. Rather than focusing on me, I would play with my phone or tell myself, "I'll deal with that tomorrow." I would also gaslight myself because being neurodivergent (ADHD) and having an anxiety disorder led to me being shamed and bullied throughout my life. Then, one day, I heard the phrase "holding space."

In my journey, holding space became a valuable tool. It empowered me to receive better mental health support by gaining clarity, a better understanding of my sense of self, and developing essential skills like self-awareness and self-advocacy. I discovered the profound benefits of holding space by treating myself with kindness, empathy, and compassion.

But, when I first heard the phrase holding space, I wondered how it could make a difference in my mental health journey. After a few years, I realized how incredibly powerful holding space can be. Here are a few ways it has empowered me:

Decompression: Holding space allows me to connect with myself, whether for a few minutes each day or an entire day. As a member of the neurodivergent community, I do this at least once a week. It has helped me feel less overwhelmed by the world and my life's demands.

Self-Care Priority: Holding space means prioritizing self-care and learning about ourselves; it is also about learning the value of professional support and acknowledging and validating our challenging thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

Simple Acts of Acknowledgment: Sometimes, holding space is as simple as doing something nice for me or acknowledging a difficult situation and my feelings about it. This practice has empowered me to gain a healthier perspective on my challenges, diagnosis, and symptoms. It has also highlighted the importance of celebrating small and big wins in our mental health journeys.

Final Thoughts

Having firsthand experience with the harmful effects of neglecting my mental health through distraction and suppression, I understand how it can lead to a cycle of shame and self-denial, eventually reaching a crisis point. However, I have learned to confront my challenges with newfound clarity and resilience by embracing kindness, empathy, self-compassion, and self-discovery.

It has empowered me to prioritize self-care, seek support, and validate my experiences. When we take the time to understand and navigate life's complexities with grace and authenticity, we celebrate each step forward in our mental health journey. Holding space for ourselves is not about having perfect lives but creating a guiding light to support, understand, and connect with ourselves.

I know doing this, especially if you haven't done it before, is not easy, and that's okay. I've been there, and there's no shame in not knowing where to begin. Here are a few ideas I found helpful in my journey: simple and a great starting point.

• It's important to set boundaries around taking time to reflect on your mental health so you have the space to prioritize your well-being and do what works for you. Why? We all experience things differently, which can empower you to process and define challenging moments, thoughts, and feelings healthily.
• Name your emotions and take a minute to breathe, meditate, do breathing exercises, or practice mindful walking.
• Additionally, set aside a few minutes each day to acknowledge how you feel or to celebrate a small daily win.

References and Resources

What It Really Means to Be There and "Hold Space" for Someone Else [Tiny Buddha]. Retrieved from https://tinybuddha.com/blog/what-it-really-means-to-be-there-and-hold-space-for-someone-else/

Marks, T. (2024, May). The Power of Holding Space for Difficult Emotions. Retrieved from https://markspsychiatry.com/the-power-of-holding-space-for-difficult-emotions/

WRSPC Staff. (2023, May 2). Holding space for others. Waterloo Region Suicide Prevention Council. Retrieved [today's date], from https://wrspc.ca/holding-space-for-others/

Calm Editorial Team (n.d.). Feeling disconnected? 10 ways to reconnect with yourself — Calm Blog. Retrieved [today's date], from https://www.calm.com/blog/feeling-disconnected