Time, I Should Have Treated You Better

As a child, I thought you would last forever but now I realize you are almost gone.

It’s like you stood still while I played. I have to be honest; I forgot about you when I was busy with my toys. But at least I still knew how to appreciate you back then.

As I grew older, I also grew less faithful. Others grabbed my attention as I started to neglect you. I lost sight of your value. Then I began to simply use you whenever and however I saw fit.

I think I lost you while chasing after money, recognition, and accomplishments — all mere distractions. Now I am aware of how foolish that was. Trading you for things infinitely less valuable.

If I had valued you as much as money, I… I…

What would my life have been like? If I had not wasted you while trying to please other people, what could have become of me? Maybe I would have lived. But I can only guess.

Fear was the greatest thief

I see it now. Fear is what made me forget you the most. I let all my fears and failures get between us. While I was busy thinking, “What if...” you slowly slipped away.

What if I had listened more to the words, “Worry cannot add a day to your life”? If I had not rushed over them but taken them to heart. Can I do anything more now than regret? Ironically — it dawns on me — regret was the second biggest thief.

I met wise people during my life who urged me about you: “Use her wisely,” they said. Did I value their words? Not quite. I figured I would listen to their advice “later.”

It’s not just me

Many people think they have you until they realize they don’t. And then it’s too late. No one can prolong you. No one can predict you. You just are. Until you are not.

Are you the most undervalued of all?

Metaphorically, we think we can buy you. But in reality, no one can. Out of everything money can’t buy, you are one. Maybe even the one.

I’m sorry to say it — and so bluntly — but I think the world has become a slut, no longer knowing how to treat you but betraying you for all the supposed riches. Where has our decency gone?

Shorts. Reels. Feeds. One-minute-reads. Is that what we have made of you? I’m not free of blame for sure.

Why did I not value you? It’s too late now.

I rejected the long hikes through nature, soaking up stories from mesmerizing books, and listening to the heartfelt words of true friends and family. Another day, I thought. Maybe later. But later never came.

Time. I thought I had you. And then I did not.

“If we spend our time obsessing with the future or regretting the past, then we will never live. Tomorrow will always be tomorrow and yesterday cannot be changed.” — Jon Foreman

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Dear friends, I say this with all love: Don’t think you have time. Because you never know when you won’t. This thought hit me the past months, especially after a surgery I had.

Live like you don’t have time and you will truly value life.

Thank you so much for your time.

If you would like to connect or see more of my content, you can do so on my X (formerly Twitter) page. I'm a writer on Medium as well, where I post most of my content. Also, feel free to leave a comment here on Vocal! :)