Satire
Shot in the Face by an Old Barn
Billie Stross's brains exploded out the back of her head. Tufts of feathery red hair, as if a summer tanager had been shot at close range, floated gently back to earth. One of the old barn's door lay wide open, a chair on its side with a sawn-off shotgun tied to it. A spring trap.
By Don McLennan, Jr.3 years ago in Fiction
RICKSHAWALLAH
In Lucknow, it was a hell-hot day of the last week of May 1969. The Sun blazed as if it was highly incensed at the happenings in this world and intended to reduce it to ashes. It was so hot that not a soul dared to move out if it had a shelter. In this land of penance and virtue, the birds and the beasts, whether in forest or a zoo, do find some sort of shelter but not the progeny of Gods who now inhabit this wonderful land.
By Arun Kumar Ph. D.3 years ago in Fiction
So You Think You Want to Write Satire and Humor?
Author's preface: If you ever wondered if it would be possible to write a satirical, humorous story as a response to a story detailing how to write satirical and humorous stories, congratulations you are a nerd. Also, the answer is yes, though it is very, very hard. Witness the birth of meta-satire, satirizing the satirical and humorizing the humorous. Although it was difficult writing this story was also a ton of fun. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. By the way the original piece upon which this meta satirical retort is based is pretty good too. Lots of helpful if very conventional techniques for improving your satirical and humorous writing abilities. I still think my version is better. lol!
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction
The Date
The Date A story about two best friends who go on a date under a pear tree after years of crushing on one another. Kennedy and Devon. That’s their names. They made youtube videos together and they both had very big crushes on one another. Devon was twenty-three and a college dropout. Kennedy on the other hand was still in school and he was nineteen. Devon dropped out of college to make youtube videos and Kennedy helps film when he has breaks or once he’s done with school work and homework. Kennedy had pale skin because he hated the sun and when he was in the sun it burnt him instantly and he got red. Kennedy had blond fluffy hair and he was 5”7 on a good day, so 5”6 because he never has good days. Kennedy had bright green eyes. Devon had dark brown skin and brown eyes. He was 6”3 all day every day. Devon’s vision was terrible so he wore glasses when he needed them. He had gotten his head shaved by Kennedy a while back and it had not grown back. They made videos exploring abandoned places teaching people why they should not explore abandoned places. Today’s video was different. Devon was gonna take Kennedy to the first place they made a video. Under a pear tree on the top of a hill. They climbed it and attempted to jump down. Devon made it down safely. Kennedy then jumped on him and they broke their arm and Devon broke his nose because Kennedy jumped right on his face.
By Burnt Baguettes3 years ago in Fiction
All Bull
They were prime seats, fifteen rows up, right above the beer garden. It was a hard wood territory that housed, at any one time, my family. Dad, mom, uncle, various, girl or boy cousins, my younger brother and me. We garnered these splinter infested seats above the beer garden, for one, because my old man fed the stock, and when he didn't my brother and I would drive our old beat-up ford through the swamp sized mud puddles to haul hay to the big bull pen in the back. The second, our family had been part of the community for a hundred years. We were sandwiched on the right by Ben and Elise Schumacher, their rowdy twenty something boys, on the left Case Lemon, with wife Shelby and their two crazy cute twin girls. The seats not always in the shade were on the top row, each bench made of two, two by twelve scabby wooden planks, with a crack between where you would drop your sun seed shells, a single rail about shoulder blade high was all that kept any of us from caving in the roof below. None of us really had to worry about losing the splinter infested seats, having received them hand me down, great grandad, to grandad, to sons by manifest destiny, or as my old man would explain in an off kilter Irish brogue,
By Owen Taylor3 years ago in Fiction
Stealth Creation of Brown Paper Bag
Some individuals preferred Wanda. Wanda stuck out. She wasn't caring for any of the ladies her age. Indeed, she's discourteous. She burps, she casually tosses a couple of f-bombs, she scratches her behind out in the open with no disgrace, so what? What makes Wanda remarkable is her earthy colored paper pack.
By Aditya Gupta3 years ago in Fiction
The Bully
She looked at the ground, entirely dejected. “You know he will be back Brutus.” “Maybe, Clarissa,” said Brutus. She sniffled. Brutus could barely look her in the eye, the sorrow truly did eat away at him. “He always comes back, Brutus. You know this. He comes here and terrorizes us. And what can we possibly do about it!”
By Daryl Benson3 years ago in Fiction
Did Your Uncle Kill Your Dad Just to Usurp His Throne and Marry Your Mother, or Are You Maybe Overthinking This?
So you’re concerned that maybe your life resembles that of Hamlet, the crown prince of Denmark. Don’t worry! We’ve all been there (kind of)! Take this simple quiz to figure out just how dire these straights you’re in, are exactly. Whether you’ve been struggling with the cold-blooded murder of your father, the king, or the poetic flower-themed ravings of your recently insane girlfriend, or just trying to convince your best friend that you’re not acting weird and losing your mind when you are, we’ve got you covered.
By Katie Alafdal3 years ago in Fiction
Vegetable Growers, Doctors Linked in Decades Long Conspiracy to Promote Health Aspects of Vegetables
Vegetable growers and doctors have been linked in a conspiracy said to stretch back fifty years or more in which members of the American Medical Association (AMA) traded favorable studies of the health aspects of vegetables for cash payments, lavish vacations, high end prostitutes and other bribes from vegetable farmers associated with the Vegetable Growers Association of America (VGAA). The doctors also agreed to consul their patients that they and their children should eat as much vegetables as they could stomach while downplaying the lack of flavor, terrible texture, and overall grossness of the food as a “necessary evil.” Dr. Ray Johnson, a pediatrician that has agreed to turn states evidence and helped blow the case wide open said “we told our patients who trusted us that they and their kids should be choking down food they both hated because of the supposed health benefits. Meanwhile we sat around the table with our own families eating meals totally free of putrid smelling broccoli or flavorless mushy zucchini.” He justified his own participation in the conspiracy by saying “When this first started we (doctors) all thought what’s the harm really. I mean it’s not like vegetables are bad for you. They just aren’t all that much better for you than anything else, and let’s be honest, vegetables are gross. They smell funny, look funny, and by and large have little to no flavor. How else were we gonna get people to eat this stuff?”
By Everyday Junglist3 years ago in Fiction