Humor
Boss Babez
Gwen didn’t know how to scroll through the Fort Hood Wivez Facebook page without throwing up. She hadn’t been prepared for middle of nowhere, Texas. The wives seemed like sun damaged Hooters waitress copies of each other: Mike’s hard lemonade, yellow pregnancy positive pregnancy sticks, orange knock off Uggs, low-waisted yoga pants, Spencer’s gifts, Monster energy, Icing, Victoria’s secret bedazzled lace thongs--as itchy as it was tiny--and their trucks with Jesus bumper stickers.
By MacKenzie Molar3 years ago in Fiction
How I Killed the Bugger
I relaxed in my bed after a hard night of cleaning about half my room. I am now convinced The Dreaded Centipede is indeed gone, having spent the better part of 3 hours stomping around and moving things to ensure this. So I now snuggle into my new made bed, feeling itches and tingles every other minute, instead of every minute. I relax and feel the built up tension ease away.
By Rose Armitage3 years ago in Fiction
Open Heart and Empty Heads
You know what I hate about living in a post-apocalyptic world? Most people would say it’s the zombies, but personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. First, zombies are really slow and they’re always moaning, so it’s not like they can sneak up on you. Second, one bullet in the head and they’re down. As long as you don’t panic and do something stupid like tripping when you’re running away, zombies aren’t so bad. They’re definitely not as bad as those motorcycle gangs in bondage outfits that are always looking for “juice” for their vehicles. If the dopes didn’t spend so much time driving around, they wouldn’t need so much “juice”. But again, they mostly have little crossbows, so as long as you’re armed, not much of a problem. Actually, last time I saw some of them I said they could find “juice” in an area that I knew had zombies. I figure, two birds with one stone.
By Antonella Di Minni3 years ago in Fiction
Can't Argue
I can't argue. When the world ended and the dead roamed the earth one year ago, I couldn't argue with who took me in and kept me safe, my Marine dad, and this weird not-so-government group called Red America. It's really just whatever's left of the U.S Army telling everyone left what to do. My dad loves them. Me? Well, I can't argue.
By Kevin Williams3 years ago in Fiction
How I conquered my fear but not really
In general I am a calm girl, I don't freak out often. "No no no no no I will not, I WILL NOT. I will sit out here in my towel until someone destroys that million-legged freak!" I really hate centipedes, and am somewhat sleep-deprived. I had played video games until 2 in the morning, then went to bed. As I slowly sank into my bed, waiting for sleep to come, I realized that I had not stopped sinking into my bed. I listened to the hiss of air for awhile before deciding that the patch I had put on my bed had not held.
By Rose Armitage3 years ago in Fiction
Dear Interface
[System Entry #011819 - Earth_Human_Survey_Day_1/5] Dear Interface, Today I saw them. Not just an image of them, but real, breathing humans. They’re disgusting. Their physical form is not morphologically dissimilar to that of an ape – another species which also inhabits this planet. The humans, however, seem to have a sense of superiority – and much less hair. Of course, this isn’t new information, but to see one of them up close was still astonishing nevertheless.
By J. R. Lowe3 years ago in Fiction
Roger the World’s Greatest Therapy Dog and the Haunted Hospital
It was October 31st, Halloween and Roger was working at the hospital. All the therapy dogs were wearing Halloween costumes so they could win the annual costume contest. First prize is a life time supply of dog bones. Roger was wearing a vampire costume. Roger was wearing a black cape and he had fake vampire tangs in his mouth. Harry the black lab was wearing a mummy costume.
By Jmjulius15 Jay3 years ago in Fiction