Humor
Open Heart and Empty Heads
You know what I hate about living in a post-apocalyptic world? Most people would say it’s the zombies, but personally, I don’t see what the big deal is. First, zombies are really slow and they’re always moaning, so it’s not like they can sneak up on you. Second, one bullet in the head and they’re down. As long as you don’t panic and do something stupid like tripping when you’re running away, zombies aren’t so bad. They’re definitely not as bad as those motorcycle gangs in bondage outfits that are always looking for “juice” for their vehicles. If the dopes didn’t spend so much time driving around, they wouldn’t need so much “juice”. But again, they mostly have little crossbows, so as long as you’re armed, not much of a problem. Actually, last time I saw some of them I said they could find “juice” in an area that I knew had zombies. I figure, two birds with one stone.
By Antonella Di Minni3 years ago in Fiction
Can't Argue
I can't argue. When the world ended and the dead roamed the earth one year ago, I couldn't argue with who took me in and kept me safe, my Marine dad, and this weird not-so-government group called Red America. It's really just whatever's left of the U.S Army telling everyone left what to do. My dad loves them. Me? Well, I can't argue.
By Kevin Williams3 years ago in Fiction
How I conquered my fear but not really
In general I am a calm girl, I don't freak out often. "No no no no no I will not, I WILL NOT. I will sit out here in my towel until someone destroys that million-legged freak!" I really hate centipedes, and am somewhat sleep-deprived. I had played video games until 2 in the morning, then went to bed. As I slowly sank into my bed, waiting for sleep to come, I realized that I had not stopped sinking into my bed. I listened to the hiss of air for awhile before deciding that the patch I had put on my bed had not held.
By Rose Armitage3 years ago in Fiction
Dear Interface
[System Entry #011819 - Earth_Human_Survey_Day_1/5] Dear Interface, Today I saw them. Not just an image of them, but real, breathing humans. They’re disgusting. Their physical form is not morphologically dissimilar to that of an ape – another species which also inhabits this planet. The humans, however, seem to have a sense of superiority – and much less hair. Of course, this isn’t new information, but to see one of them up close was still astonishing nevertheless.
By J. R. Lowe3 years ago in Fiction
Roger the World’s Greatest Therapy Dog and the Haunted Hospital
It was October 31st, Halloween and Roger was working at the hospital. All the therapy dogs were wearing Halloween costumes so they could win the annual costume contest. First prize is a life time supply of dog bones. Roger was wearing a vampire costume. Roger was wearing a black cape and he had fake vampire tangs in his mouth. Harry the black lab was wearing a mummy costume.
By Jmjulius15 Jay3 years ago in Fiction
Tsunami of Cats
I put my hand out but couldn't reach her even though we were in the same room. She laughed, not at me, at the TV—something to do with mice. It was a pleasant evening outside. Inside it was just evening. I asked her to change the channel to something more interesting and she replied that I should change into something more interesting first. She had the remote and is sometimes packing a nine so I went and sat in my easy chair.
By Karl Van Lear3 years ago in Fiction
How I Became a Vegan
A week ago, at breakfast, my alphabet cereal spelled Doom in my bowl. I decided then and there to switch to Cheerios. Two days later my Cheerios wrote Doom in my bowl. It seems Cheerios stole a D and an M from the alphabet cereal box, which sits nearby on the shelf in the breakfast section. I felt a conspiracy brewing and rifled through my cupboards to find the ringleader because I’m not the kind of guy to slink away when my food staples start ganging up on me. I’m the apex predator here, not those multi-grain minions. I felt if I could identify the instigator I could put an end to this uprising.
By Karl Van Lear3 years ago in Fiction