Christopher Donovan
Bio
Hi!
Film, theatre, mental health, sport, politics, music, travel, and the occasional short story... it's a varied mix!
Tips greatly appreciated!!
Thank you!!
Stories (116/0)
Telephonic Adventures in Mental Health
(Recorded message): Hello. You are through to Farringdon House, the home of your local mental health crisis team - the people who care. Please listen to the following information and then select the appropriate option. If you are trying to contact your designated mental health professional, press ‘1’ and leave a message. We cannot stress this enough - You HAVE to leave a message. Yes - life would be easier if you could just speak directly to someone but there's a lot of strange people out there and we have to filter out the cranks. Not that you're a crank. You're probably a lovely person with a genuine mental ilness - Or maybe not. Perhaps you are a crank. A timewasting crank. In which case, we detest you. Using an imgainary mental illness as an excuse for your miserable life? You make us want to vomit - Hang on - Where was I? - Designated mental health professional - blah blah - press ‘1’ - leave a message - yadda yadda - there we are. That's it - Back on track. Due to the volume of messages currently being left using option '1', Doug on Reception is struggling to keep track of who’s trying to speak to whom (the front desk is an administrational Omaha Beach – Post-It notes strewn everywhere). Please be patient with him – it’s his first week. I’m sure he’ll pass your message on to the right person. Eventually. In the unlikely event that Doug did manage to pass your message onto the correct person, they may have called you back. If so, they probably missed you and left you a message. If you are responding to such a message — which itself was a response to your message — press ‘2’ and leave a message saying that you got a message about your message and — you know what? Let Doug sort that out. If you have called previously and left messages via the ‘1’ and ‘2’ buttons — i.e. you’ve left a message, someone’s then left a message for you, and you’ve then left a message about that message — press ‘3’ and leave a message — Actually, it’s best not to. No one listens to the messages left in pot 3. It’s a rabbit-hole we chose not to go down — nothing makes sense there. Messages about messages about messages — it’s like a Christopher Nolan movie. If you’re in distress and require advice or support, press ‘5’ — Sorry, press ‘4' - Or is it ‘6’? Or is is '#'? Tell you what – just press ‘1’ and leave a message. I’m sure Doug will figure it out. Whilst you’re here, I need to remind you that if you fail to speak to your designated mental health professional in person on a regular basis, you will be discharged from our care. If you have any questions about the information provided today, press ‘1’ and leave a message. Doug will sort out the rest. Thank you for calling Farringdon House and have a great day. And remember — you can always talk to us.
By Christopher Donovanabout a year ago in Humor
Taking the Knee to be Criminalised by UK Government
Brighton, England — At the Conservative party’s annual conference, a Home Office spokesman today announced plans to make ‘Taking the knee’ illegal. Any professional sportsman who continued to do could face a hefty prison sentence under the new legislation.
By Christopher Donovanabout a year ago in Humor
His Mother's Portrait
If walls could talk, then it's best if they don't sound like your mother. Of this, Herrington Lefarge was certain. He would never have claimed to be an overly intelligent man - he was a middling accountant in a middling accountacy firm: His professonal adequacy was (he felt) an accurate representation of his overall intellect. As such, he freely admitted that there was much in the world that left him bewildered. For instance, people who enjoyed skiing. Why anyone would actively choose a hobby that could result in a broken limb was a mystery to him.
By Christopher Donovanabout a year ago in Futurism
Why My Vocal Stats Are A Weapon In My Recovery
The path towards emotional well-being is a long one. There's no shortage of metaphors one could use to describe that journey. Many like to employ the idea of climbing a mountain, but I dislike it. For me, it implies that there's a tangible endpoint; the apex of the mountain. Once you've reached the summit, you've done it: You're cured!
By Christopher Donovan2 years ago in Psyche
Why Having Sex is Good for our Mental Health
When we discuss all of the things we can do to improve our mood, sex is often something that is overlooked. Yet, it shouldn't be. Sex can be just as beneficial to our emotional well-being as exercise, or a healthy diet.
By Christopher Donovan2 years ago in Filthy
