PMDD & The Holidays

Everyone looks forward to the holidays...er, right? Well, yes and no. Let's be honest; as much as we all look forward to the celebrations in some ways, they can also increase our stress levels with the pressures to shop, cook, spend precious time, energy and money to meet expectations, and mix with those we might otherwise choose to avoid. Certain family dynamics can also rear their nasty little triggering heads and emotions can run deep. For those with PMDD, depending on where the menstrual cycle falls, this added stress can send us over an edge we might have managed to avoid in better circumstances.

It is especially important at this time of year to be extra gentle and slow down enough to recognize the signs of depleting ourselves for the sake of others or our own expectations. But how do we learn to recognize the signs that we're pushing too hard in order to avert a crash?

Take note whenever you feel:

• Tired
• Hungry
• Resentful
• Irritable or Frustrated
• Unidentifiable Emotions
• Too Cold
• Too Hot
• Running on Empty

If these signs arise, it's definitely time to take a step back and assess the situation. What do you need? Do you need to leave? Do you need to stop? Do you need to rest? Do you need to eat? Do you need a hot water bottle? A pain killer? Do you need a cuddle with the cat? Do you need a hug? Do you need someone else to take over? Can you reschedule? Can you re-prioritize? Can you let something go entirely?

Once you identify what it is you need, give it to yourself. If you can't in that moment, do the next best thing until you can, knowing you will address it as soon as possible. And in such instances, self-soothe as best you can and let yourself know you are there for yourself.

It's important to remember that despite the stories we may tell ourselves, or the blame that others may place upon us, nobody's Thanksgiving or Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanza is going to be ruined because you needed a pause. If anyone attempts to make you feel differently, they are the ones being selfish and unreasonable, not you.

Sometimes, all we need is a step back and a moment to feel whatever it is we're feeling without judging it or trying to change it. We just need a little space in which we can cry, scream, shout explitives (at no one in particular), nap, or eat that little something that levels us out and allows us to move forward. That isn't selfish. That's self-care. And when we give ourselves permission to have it, we fill a deep cache of energy within which we can then tap to cope with all the external demands on us. Not only that, but we also teach those around us that they too can practice self-care and stop expecting everyone around them to do it for them!

One thing is certain. If we don't watch for the signs of an empty tank, and if we don't catch and address our needs before PMDD blows them out of all proportion, things will escalate into holiday madness, arguments, and general crazy-making. And then all those happy memories will be marred by yet another season of having "lost it" with the children or the boyfriend or the in-laws.

Awarness continues to be an absolutely key factor in managing PMDD. Self-care is the next step. Use these two tools to keep yourself from sinking into holiday despair this season.

Remember, you are not alone! Find help at the IAPMD.

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