Condemnation
This old house.
On my foundation, I begin to erode.
Descend into rubble, the humble abode.
Death and decay are what I envelope.
Paint peeling and damned to no hope.
One good wind would send me to my grave.
Condemned to die, your home I was made.
Author’s Note:
This poem was inspired by Poppy’s Prompts - May Edition.
About the Creator
Donna Fox (HKB)
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Original narrative & well developed characters
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Smartystan
Flags flew freely in the summer breeze. They consisted of a gray and white human brain against a black background. Scales of gold sat just overtop the image of the organ. The sun rose at just the zenith and shared its light and warmth with the attendees to one of the country-states’ greatest accomplishments: the graduation of two women who had been in a halfway house and found their passions for art design and communications. Mala and Sheltham looked on with sunglasses and cheered the graduates. With the knowledge they had months to go before being up on that stage, they looked at each other and grinned. After the ceremony, they walked into a pizza restaurant that fit their budgets.
By Skyler Saunders7 days ago in Chapters
Comments (15)
Brilliant!!! Congratulations on the Leaderboard H M!°💕❤️❤️
I adore this so much
ayayay ms HKB, my favourite Canadian madwoman...this is beautiful...clever, but with so much feeling in so few words. As everyone else has said before me, you've done a marvellous and powerful job of giving life to a home...it moved me. Also...I am humbled that you felt this was a very, lol, Paulitical poem. I just think it's a very Foxical poem and brilliant because of that!
Powerful imagery. Dharr suggested I'd like your writing, and she's correct about that. Really enjoyed it.
I really like this poem… & will leave it at that! So many insightful comments… added to the fascinating read!
Like Dharrsheena, I also read this as a metaphor which kind of makes it even more heartbreaking I think. "Death and decay are what I envelope." That was especially hard hitting.
Oh wow. This was DEEP. The verses are giving the same rhythm as the prayer: "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep; Please angels watch me through the night, And keep me safe till morning light." Not sure if you intended for it to have the same beat, but it's catchy and soothing to the ears :). I can't unhear it lol!
I feel this is much more than just about an old house. It felt like a metaphor for us humans after somebody we love leaves us to die from heartbreak. Just six lines but your poem hit so hard. It had so many layers and extremely profound! Loved your poem so much D!
Ohhhh the poor house-home/ Great job. ❣️
Oh wow. I'm feeling sorry for a building. So well done.
Very sad. That last line was heartbreaking.
You bundled this together very well. Great phrases.
How sad is this? Poor building once protected the family now gone. I really like how you gave life to an inanimate object.
“Condemned to die your home I was made” That one just jumped of the page at me Donna! I can’t quite express why but it was just the perfect line!
I'm imagining how we might honour our houses now. Reusing the parts I suppose?