POKER
-The Jokers -
![](https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/d_642250b563292b35f27461a7.png,f_jpg,fl_progressive,q_auto,w_1024/64daf68f6492a2001d311730.jpg)
Shuffle - AnTe~Up -
Catch a Card – Poker-Tale-TELLS
We all have kitchen table poker card game stories. The Monday Night Poker Group was no different. We were all about constant 'Table-Talk-Goofs' and not so much about money; mostly about friendly camaraderie. Although, Twin-Lucky-Lar, recently shared with me (as if I didn’t know this) “I wasn’t always Mr. Money Bags, I would use my Monday night winnings to pay for lunch the next day.” Ironically, some of the guys were rich, and those players seemed to be more conservative in their betting than we poor guys – go figure?
Did you ever know anyone who actually "Laughed all the way to the Bank?" Jason, our lanky (6’8″) British car-upkeep-guy did. Just into the door he would throw down a wad-of-cash as his 'buy-in' while joking: “I’m playing on your enormous repair bills, so here’s something back.” As a gesture he always lost.
Jason had (3) daughters and he would invite all of us to the huge-venue weddings. In addition to bragging that our pampered British-Babies financed HIS 'Babies' lavish affairs.
Come-On, did you ever own a Persnickety British Car? Wobbly-Wire-Wheels and All. Jason quote: “Jay, just letting you know that I’m going away for the weekend so I won’t be there to rescue you ‘WHEN’ you break down." But, they were beautiful!
– Shut up and Deal –
Lar was the self-appointed 'table-boss.' In poker adage~lore: He who shouts the loudest, RULES. And, he always was the 'Big-Winner.' He did calculations at the beginning and the end of every evening, asking each player to look in their wallets and count their money. No one really cared–actually it became annoying. But, I suppose, being a schtickler for numbers then was the precursor to him becoming the successful CPA that he is today.
Obvious Tells:
One of the players was so anxious that whenever he had a good-hand he would sit/stand in his seat as if he had 'Schpielkies' (ants in the pants). Another would nervously twitch-shake his leg under the table as his 'Tell.' Even my house had a Tell: It seems that the reflections from my huge picture windows, when the drapes were open, would expose the players’ hands on that side of the table – I wondered WHY the 'peekers' always WON.
We once had a neighbor woman join our game, but not for long. Her PLOY was to purposely distract the others with sexy movements. She was a sitcom-actress; nothing shy about her! The players’ wives never allowed her to play in our games again – can’t imagine WHY?
Alan had his plan-of-attack. He always played what poker lingo calls 'BLIND.' His thinking was that by NOT looking at his cards until the final 'turn-over' he would have a 50-50 chance of winning. That 'formula' never worked out well for him. Alan became a Successful-Financial-Planner (Seriously!)
Table Boundaries:
None of us were big drinkers but openly (nothing covert) passed a joint around the table; no biggie now. But, no eating/drinking on the gorgeous felt table – doobie-ash exempted. One of the boys was made persona-non-grata by breaking a guy-code-rule. He thought it was amusing to announce a ballgame score even when he was told that most of the guys taped the game on our 'klutzy' VCR's to watch the next day. After doing this (2) times, he was never invited back to our group.
Sarcasm:
As the self-anointed Table Boss, Lucky-Lar would announce before each deal, “did everyone ante-up?” while glancing in MY direction. That routine always brought out the sarcasm in me, “So what’s the ante?” As if that 'ante-amount' ever changed over the years. And, to throw in another irritating (2 cent) tease: When the deal rotated to each player they would always call their same favorite game every time as well. So, I would ask, “So what’s the game?” I know, just pure noodge!
Nosh:
Each week the 'hosting-house' rotated; different nosh. Terry made a concoction entre’ of Franco American spaghetti/with tuna (really!) – The group headed to McDonalds at the end of the night. Lucky-Lar put out an incredible spread of corned beef-pastrami and slaws. He would ask for extra refreshment money; but never got it. Mart had assorted salty chips with spicy dips. Along with every conceivable Italian pastry including sugar-powdered stuffed cannelloni - Sweet & Salty Highs -
I, on the other hand, featured a stack of highly unusual sandwich combinations that were created in my kitchen using whatever mish-mash-mix of ingredients I had in our fridge at the time. Such as: Peanut Butta’~Pickle~Salami/with a huge Slather of Heinz mayonnaise on Rye. When this invention was 1st introduced it was made fun of (not unlike Terry’s spaghetti with tuna) but it became the 'Tasty-Nosh-Favorite' as evidenced by requests for 'doggie-bags' and by the empty serving trays at the end of each evening.
— Play the HAND that’s Given —
Jay Kantor, Chatsworth, California
'Senior' Vocal Author - Vocal Author Community -
About the Creator
Jay Kantor
Retired: Write for "The Kids Someday"
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Comments (31)
Ooooo. Now then. Poker food. Yeah, I shall think on that. Like it, I do enjoy poker and your butties sound delicious! 😋
Sounds like the poker games we used to have. Did you know … Ford stands for “Fix Or Repair Daily” I’m a GM guy and you're right, we used to joke around a lot because all my buds were mechanics and we always made fun of everyone’s ride. ‘Good story that brought back a few memories.’ 👍
Found it on my own! What a wonderful romp this was to read. I love the characters you sketched out here. Even in a revolving door of stories from a hundred nights, I felt this piece was as cozy and complete as an evening in my favorite chair. Beautiful work, Jay!
Good story! I grew up playing poker and in my 20's when casinos became a thing in MN, I was told to only gamble what I could afford to spend going to a movie and dinner, and have a time limit. I stuck to it pretty well. Home games were harder to stick to those limits, so I don't do that anymore and spend very little time in the casinos.😉😊💕
I love this! What a hoot this group must be! What a great story. My favorite part is this: "As a gesture, he always lost." How cool is that! My children and I had Friday Game Nights, and each week, we varied the theme (and the game). Sometimes, we each created our own mini pizzas, occasionally, it was taco night or a baked potato bar (I always had to factor in that my younger daughter has long been vegetarian, so I always had an option for her). When the kids were younger, they even designed a weekly menu. It was loads of fun.
I enjoyed the way you told this story :) What a bunch of characters!! I used to play a lot of card games with my dad and step mom as well as her side of the family, but never poker. Sounds like so many good memories. Congrats on the Top Story for this enjoyable piece :)
Good job!
Tuna spaghetti?? 🫠🫠. Not sure how to feel about that! I love poker nights!! This made me want to start going again 😁 just gotta watch out for those pesky reflections 🤔
Good grief..Bart Simpsom-ish style. Your stories make for a serious Sit-Com. You have such great fun in your life. Such a lucky Jay. Your style and content leaves one just pining for more. I really enjoyed your story jay. Be well and happy, blessings.
You have a very unique perspective Jay that is such a joy to read. Well done my friend.
Sounds like your friendly camaraderie poker games were always a big hit! I think I would have been going for fast food on the nights when spaghetti and tuna were served, too! Your potluck sandwich spread sounds interesting. I enjoyed this story...an overall good read!
Dear J, how come I was never invited to these awesome gatherings? I love poker. The real kind like you guys played. Not the video poker at the casinos lol. Spaghetti-o-s and tuna 😅. One word, Gross!!! Awesome story my friend. Makes me want to go gamble!
Always happy to stroll through your memories with you, sir! Good Day!
That’s a good ol tale, Bud 👌🏽
Haha! Jay! So entertaining! Love your playful nature– your stories always give me a giggle! I’m not sure about that sammy you served up, but I think I’d choose it over tuna-spaghett!! Congrats on a super fun top story!! 💫💞
Hilarious and and funny, I enjoyed the read. I will love people to also read my poems and subscribe, I am a newbie here😊
I would imagine that you have quite a few more stories to tell. Really enjoyed your playful nature. Congratulations on the top story
Terrilynn: Jay, I love the stories you write about the musings and misadventures of men. You guys are such fascinating creatures!
Cool 👍 🎉Congratulations on your Top Story🎉
Laughing all the way through your hilarious poker tales!!! Love this!!!💕❤️❤️
Congratulations on Top Story 🥰🥳🥳🥳🥳
Dear Jay I enjoyed this immensely. :D Great work. Sincerely, Mother
Lol, all those food seemed like pregnancy cravings! 🤣🤣🤣 I had fun reading this!
Enjoyed the story! Especially the Yiddishisms (first time I've seen 'Schpielkies' in a story), the insight into distractions, and the slather of mayonnaise (didn't know Heinz made that, though -- we use Hellman's).
Great story, and I am subscribed now, so will check out more of your work