My Composite Halloween Costume: A Smorgasbord of Terror

Given that 2020 has been so, so strange, I've decided that this year's Halloween costume needs to be a bit special. It's not been a normal year by anyone's standards, and 2020 deserves a costume that reflects that.

It simply seems inadequate to choose one character to dress up as. As potent as they all are, Michael Meyers, or Jason, or Freddy, or Dracula, or Frankenstein on their own all seem too tame. 2020 deserves better.

So...

I'm going dress up as all of them. Well, as many as I can.

I'm designing a composite Halloween costume, referencing as many scary characters I can. It will be a smorgasbord of terror. It'll also be a bit messy - but 2020 wouldn't have it any other way.

Here's the cavalcade of evil, villainy and downright-weird I've settled on:

Shoes: 'It.'

Pennywise is one of the best villains in recent times. Bill Skarsgård and the mighty Tim Curry were both terrifying as the demonic clown, though neither was quite able to capture the unrelentingly evil entity depicted in Stephen King's original novel. But, seeing as 2020 does seem to have been scripted by the King of Horror himself, it's fitting that the foundation of my costume comes from him.

All I have to do is not trip up, and ruin the illusion.

Underwear & Socks: 'The Rocky Horror Picture Show.'

No, not strictly a horror film, but it does have the word 'horror' in its title (which is good enough for me), and Brad's tighty-whities, and pale socks, are unquestionably iconic. Granted, no-one's going to see them, but I'll know I'm wearing them. So that's okay then.

Vest: 'Wolf Creek 2.'

Mick Taylor is one of the best cinematic baddies to pollute our screens in living memory. Capable of being charming, and funny, he's also foul-mouthed, diabolically sadistic, and a good reason to avoid the Outback.

Luckily for me, he's also got a terrible taste in tops, and his horrible vest makes the cut.

Trousers: 'Beetlejuice.'

No, it's not the scariest of films, but 'Beetlejuice' still rocks. It's a formative film from my teenage years, and stands repeated viewings. I don't think Michael Keaton or Tim Burton have ever been better. And the titular character's costume (well, array of costumes, really) is fancy-dress Heaven.

The stripy suit is a Halloween staple, but I'm only having the trousers. They were already distinctive - worn atop a pair of clown shoes, they're going to be even more so this year.

Jumper: 'A Nightmare on Elm Street.'

Now, this film is scary. It holds a special place in my heart as it was the first real horror film I saw as a teenager. I revisited it recently and, not only was I still scared, but the various metaphors, which flew right over my adolescent head, landed with a fleshy thud: As an allegorical tale about progressing from the safety of childhood into the terrors of young adulthood, I think there's few better.

More pertinently, its central character has an easily recognizable costume. Considering that my outfit is going to be a deliberately glorious mix-and-match, it'll be nice to have Freddy's standout striped sweater. In fact, it'll probably be one of the few pieces requiring no explanation as it's so iconic.

Vomit on jumper: 'The Exorcist.'

Gross but necessary. William Friedkin's 1973 classic is one of my all-time favorites. I wanted to reference to it somehow. Luckily, I can do so with ease by sprinkling Freddy's jumper with luminescent, green effluence. No, not real vomit - I'm not a method-actor. I bought a small pack of fake sick from a local joke-shop.

Hey presto - I'm suddenly a bit demonically possessed.

Jacket: 'The Shining.'

I love 'The Shining.' It’s not just a great horror film, it’s a great full-stop. I adore Stephen King, but never understood his gripes about the movie. C'mon Stevie - Kubrick took your novel and made a copper-bottomed masterpiece.

And, as a warning about the effects of trying to work from home surrounded by family, I don't there's many better analogies for 2020. All that's missing is a scene where Jack tries to wrestle with Microsoft Teams or Zoom.

Jack also rocks a funky cardigan / jacket, and, as it's winter, an extra layer will come in handy. Practical, and meaningful. Result.

Cloak: 'Dracula.'

The granddaddy of horror villains. I had to have Bram Stoker's timeless creation in there somehow. I did consider just going with the fangs but - for reasons that will become clear later - that's simply not practical.

So I've settled on the cape. Never worn one, but I've always wanted to. Let's be honest, who hasn't wanted to. Capes are cool.

However, given that I'll also be wearing Freddie's jumper, and Jack's cardigan, my body-temperature may end up on par with that of the surface of the Sun.

Logistically, there's also an extra risk of tripping - I'll have clown shoes on my feet, remember. By adding a cloak to the mix, I doubt I'll be able to match the poise of Claes Bang or Bela Lugosi. I'll hardly be floating across the floor with supernatural grace.

However, I'll have a cape on. If I fall over, I will do so wearing a thick, velvet cloak. In short, I'll do it in style.

Face: 'Halloween.'

The mask of William Shatner turned inside-out is an act of low-budget genius. Financial expediency gave us one of the most iconic horror characters in the bland, lifeless face of Michael Meyers.

It’s a shame that, due to Covid, I’ll miss out on the latest instalment of Michael terrorising Laurie Strode and the other unfortunate residents of Haddonfield. I’ll just have to make do with watching John Carpenter’s 1978 original. Again.

Like Freddy's jumper, no explanation will be needed when it comes to the emotionless visage of Illinois’ most notorious fictional serial killer.

It's also a bit of a blank canvas, perfect to add some smaller details to...

Mask: 'The Silence of the Lambs.'

Is Jonathan Demme's 1991 adaption of Thomas Harris' novel a horror film? Not sure - if we were being pedantic, 'thriller' seems the most apt genre classification. However, the movie's central character is genuinely terrifying, a dark glimpse into a twisted, nightmarish mind.

The film itself may not be strictly 'horror', but the insane, cannibal psychiatrist is as scary as anyone else listed here.

The more we've seen of Hannibal Lector over the years, the more diluted he's become. He's more pantomime villain nowadays than the incarnation of evil.

But, go back to when he was first emotionally toying with poor Clarice, and his bad-guy credentials are clear. And his infamous facial accessory is a must-have.

Certainly this year; how could I not have a mask? I mean, 2020 has been the year of the mask!

Hat: 'The Babadook.'

Jennifer Kent's 2014 debut is an underrated gem. Like most great horror films, it comes loaded with metaphorical weight; I don't think I've ever seen a better analogy both for the struggles of parenthood, nor combating mental health. If you haven't yet seen it, put it top of your Halloween viewing list.

The main character also wears a pretty nifty hat, which is itself, a reference to another horror classic, the 1920 German masterpiece, 'The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari.' Two for the price of one - bingo!

Yes - I'm well aware I've added yet another layer. I'm know I'm going to sweat the equivalent of a small ocean, but, it's a top hat, and - along with a cape, it's just cool. End of.

Weapons: machete ('Friday the 13th') and a chainsaw ('The Texas Chainsaw Massacre').

Two hands, two weapons, both courtesy of two more horror icons.

I couldn't not have Leatherface or Jason somewhere. Luckily, their weapons are as recognizable as their masks (more masks!).

How I'm going to manage handling these two killing-implements, AND a cloak, clown shoes, and enough layers to keep me warm during an Arctic winter is a bridge I'll cross on the night.

Inside trouser pockets: Silver Spoon ('Get Out'), a crucifix ('The Lost Boys'), and a small photo of Sigourney Weaver ('Alien').

Like 'Beetlejuice', and 'A Nightmare on Elm Street', 'The Lost Boys' and 'Alien / Aliens' were films I gorged upon as a movie-mad teenager. I couldn't do this and have no trace of them.

Like the underwear, no-one will know I'll have these items on me (and considering I'll be holding a machete and a chainsaw, I'm not going to be emptying my pockets for anyone). However, I'll know I'm paying homage to these formative films, albeit secretly.

The same with 'Get Out', a film I've re-watched multiple times over the past few years. Great horror always has a lot to say about contemporary society, and, in the age of Black Lives Matters, Jordan Peele's contemporary classic certainly has a lot to say. It's a fantastic film, and I'm happy I can pay tribute to it in a tiny way by way of small piece of cutlery .

So, that's it - my composite Halloween costume for 2020. It'll be messy, and slightly shambolic, but I think that's only right for a year that has been the most traumatic, and strangest I've ever lived through. Despite the terrifying nature of the characters inspiring it, I'm also going to look a bit silly, but I don't think that's a bad thing given the current climate. We could all do with a little light relief.

Now, what about my composite costume for Christmas...

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