The Ten People You Meet When You’re Autistic

Part of this article was published in my blog at Angelnickirocks.Blogspot.com.

I was recently thinking about all of the different places I’ve been, places where I’ve lived or worked or gone to school. It seems to me that I meet the same people everywhere I go. I was able to categorize these people into ten categories.

Of course, not all people everywhere fit into one of these categories. But these are definitely the people I’ve met the most often.

The Nonbeliever - This person thinks autism doesn’t really exist and neither do ADHD or most other “invisible” disabilities. They might blame autism on bad parenting or sugary foods. A nonbeliever once told me that autism can’t be real because if you took an autistic child and put them in the middle of the redwood forest alone, they’d be just fine and their autism would no longer effect them. (I do not recommend trying this.) They may accuse you of trying to act like you’re autistic because you just want to get attention. They may also believe that allergies are a made up thing that you do to get attention. Sometimes this person has a child who is very clearly autistic, but they refuse to acknowledge it, and get angry every time the child “acts” like he’s autistic.

The Expert - This person knows everything about autism because they have one autistic family member. Often it’s a distant relative like a cousin’s child. They may tell you that you cannot possibly be autistic because you are nothing like their family member. Or they’ve seen the show “Parenthood” and they think you’re nothing like Max, so you can’t be autistic. Or they do believe you’re autistic and they treat you exactly the same as they treat their autistic family member… even though that family member is seven years old. They may explain to you things like ABA therapy and special diets that have helped their family member.

The Normy - This person is as neurotypical as you can get. They have not experienced much diversity. They’ve followed a very “normal” script their entire lives, including having a healthy marriage and two point five well adjusted, college-bound children. You make them nervous. They often get a confused or alarmed look on their face any time you talk.

The Not-Quite-Normy - This person is probably not neurotypical, but they really want everyone to think that they are “normal.” They hang out with the normies and work very hard to maintain their “normal” image. You make them uncomfortable mostly because they don’t want to be associated with you. They don’t want anyone to notice the similarities between them and you. They will hang out with you if there’s a crowd of other people around, but when they find themselves alone with you, they quickly exit.

The “Everyone Is Autistic” Person - This person says “Aren’t we all a little bit autistic?” They therefore believe that you should be doing just as well in life as all of the other “a little bit autistic” people in the world. This person does not actually know what autism is.

The No-Excuses Person - This person does believe you’re autistic. They also believe that autistic people should be pushed to act like everyone else, and that it just means they have to work harder. This person may be an old-school ABA therapist who punishes children for not making eye contact or not replying “Hello” when someone says hello to them. This person says things like “Quiet hands.” They may accuse you of using autism as an “excuse.”

The Parental Figure - This person is drawn to you for some reason, and they are always there for you. They often have adult children, one of whom is probably neurodivergent. You can always depend on them to listen to you, help you out if you’re struggling with something, include you in things they’re doing with others, or give you an escape route when you’re about to have a meltdown. You have to be careful because if you get too dependent on this person, they may get burnt out. They may also get frustrated if you don’t do what they think you should do. Unlike a lot of the other people on this list, this person may not know much about autism, but they ask you about it and may even do their own research to learn more about it.

The Person-Firster - When you tell this person that you’re autistic, they’ll correct you and say that you’re a “person with autism.” They probably learned this in a sensitivity training at their work. If you explain that many autistic people like to be called autistic, they will say you’re wrong. They need to use “person first” language to help themselves remember that you actually are a person. They may also be a No-Excuses Person.

The Savior - This person is determined to save you from yourself, by teaching you how to be normal whether you like it or not. They can sometimes be very helpful, like when they help you get organized. However, they can also be very controlling, and they get frustrated when their efforts don’t immediately turn you normal. They may talk a lot about what a pain in their butt you are… but they’re somehow always around you anyways. This person may also become your best friend, or drive you crazy.

The Neurodivergent Person - This person is either autistic, or they have ADHD, mental health challenges, or all of the above. Unlike the Not-Quite-Normy, this person knows they are neurodivergent and is fine with it. The two of you will either become best friends, or drive each other crazy.

if you’re autistic, have you met any of these people? What other types of people have you met?