All That Remained

The locals called it an eye sore, but she recalled it as so much more. As Eve was sitting in the back of the taxi, she sat lost and pained in her attempts to remember. Shaken out of her useless thoughts, she could hear the driver ask if this was the place and hearing herself feebly tell him yes, asking if he could wait. She heard his huff and a growled yes. It had been so long, but there it was in the distance, so close.

She opened the car door. It was heavy just like the few memories she still had weighing on her. Inside, she was crying. Outside the tears just wouldn't fall. Eve slowly slid herself sideways so she could balance herself. She placed her black button buckle half heels on the ground and pulled herself up into a standing position. Her body ached from a long life and the chill of the winter canvas only made the ache more pronounced, but she was determined. This was her last chance, her last wish.

Her first step into the ankle deep snow and she felt herself almost loose her balance, but then another step and then another. Each step she could feel a change about her. Each step, becoming easier. Each step...taking her back. As Eve approached the broken down, rotting barn, her heaviness began to lift and for a brief moment she thought she heard her sister's voice. She reached for the frame of what was once a barn door, grasped it and shifted around to look behind her. She took a deep sigh of loss. No, it wasn't her sister. Just the whistling of the wind and the running taxi. Turning back around, she stepped in and could hear the crunch of the snow and ice under foot. All of a sudden she heard the sound again. This time it sounded like her mother from afar. She closed her eyes wanting to savor the sound, real or not. It had been over 50 years since she heard her mother's voice. Head tilted back a bit, the tears started to appear and trickle down the side of her crevassed cheeks.

As Eve opened her eyes, she realized that her glasses caused a blurriness to her vision. She took them off to at least wipe away the tears and as she slowly drew them down, she blinked, not believing what was in front of her. She could feel, not a cold brisk wind, but a warm spring breeze. Looking to her left she could see the horse stalls and...DAISY! She blinked her eyes several times, rubbing them. Was this a dream? Daisy began neighing at his owner, looking for the carrot that was always a waited for treat. Eve, in disbelief, walked towards her Daisy and as she reached the stall, lifted her hand and there, the carrot was ready for the taking. Daisy neighed and stomped in place with joy, happy to see his little rider again. Eve began to smile, opening her hand to give the carrot to Daisy. It was gone in an instant.

Eve had forgotten her glasses, thinking she dropped them, turned around to look on the ground. The bitterness of the winter nipped at her once again. Looking in her hand, were her glasses. Not sure what happened, she looked back up, just a memory she had forgotten she thought. She smiled and sighed. Turning back to the stall nothing was there but the broken boards. Certainly nothing that could be called a stall anymore.

Near the middle of the barn, Eve saw an old apple crate. Shuffling over to it, she began to remember the apple trees that she and her daddy had planted when she was a little girl. She wondered if any of the trees remained or if they had grown old like she had. She slowly began to sit on the crate and as she came to rest, closed her eyes once again, taking in a deep breath. She could smell her mother's apple pies and her mouth began to water. Opening her eyes, now in front of her were a stack of crates filled with apples galore glistening from the sun peering through the upper barn door of the loft. How delicious they looked! Standing up, she walked over and reached in one of the crates, grabbed an apple and took a huge bite. The crunch, just how she remembered! Eve walked to the edge of the barn door to peer out and there she saw the trees in all their glory just as she remembered. The breeze off the field caressed her face and she closed her eyes again. The warmth...the cutting cold interrupted her memory again. There she sat still on the crate, in the empty barn.

As cold as it was, Eve wasn't ready to leave. She was finally starting to remember things again and was thrilled. She hoped that the taxi driver would stay true to his word and wait for her. Leaning to her left a bit and glancing past the wooden doors, she could see the exhaust steaming from the car. She just needed a little more time.

Eve shivered at the cold and reached down to pull her coat tighter around her when she heard laughter. Raising her face, the barn was filled with decorations, people and food, everyone whispering, all smiles, all in good spirits. She could hear her daddy's voice, "Are you ready?" as she looked beside her, arms linked with his, smiling and eyes watering as they took the slow steps together towards the man in uniform at the end of the walk. Both now shyly facing and glancing at each other and joyfully looking to the future. The vows were said, til death us do part, the exchanging of the rings and the kiss. She was welcoming the thought that the day could last forever. Hand in hand they turned and faced their family and friends...the new Mr. and Mrs....the running through the tossed rice...happy. She looked down and could see the white of her dress, as she looked up again, all smiles, the empty barn again. Eve began to cry.

Eve had married young, her new husband, not long after had been shipped off by the Navy into the war. They had barely settled into their new lives and then just as quickly as he had been sent to fight, he came back. It was one of her intact memories. She had been helping her parents on the farm. Feeding the animals in the barn, she could see in the distance, two men in uniform approaching her. Memories of the flag drape that was folded before her flashed like a shock wave. She never married again and no children. She was alone. Now the memories were truly all she had left and even those were slowly being taken away.

Tears again gathered in the corner of her eyes as she saw where her knees had buckled that day after the news. Why was this a kept memory? She wanted to keep the happier times. Hanging her head down, she whispered to her husband, I still miss and love you...soon...wait a little longer.

She had been sitting for a while and Eve could not feel the winter anymore. She was tired. She wanted it all back, to do again. She didn't think of changing anything, her life had been good. It had been filled with love given and love received. Her sister was the first to pass in her family, then her dad and last her mom. She loved them all so much, but her dad's passing was the hardest. She was a daddy's girl, though never spoiled. She was like him in every way. The times spent fishing at the creek, the planting of the trees, the jokes and laughter rang in her ears.

Eve sighed, it was now time to go. She stood in the middle of the barn, and took it all in one last time, noticing the sky through the loft door. It was a blah grey and she could feel the weight of her recalled memories, though she felt lighter than when she first stepped in. Turning to face the barn doors to exit for the last time, she paused, closed her eyes, and took in a breath, holding on to it all, hoping to not let it go again. As she opened her eyes one last time and took a step, she felt the spring breeze again and the suns warmth. There just before the doors was a blanket with her mother's picnic basket. She took another step and her sister came running towards her, laughing happily, grabbing her hand, pulling her to the blanket. She sat down and saw her mother and daddy come in together holding hands talking and smiling too. They were so in love with each other. Everyone had all gathered on the blanket, joking and laughing. Eve, through squinted eyes from the warm spring sun, glanced at the doors once again and there stood her husband. He jogged over with a huge smile and sat beside his wife to join the picnic. He leaned over to Eve and said “What took you so long? I've been waiting for you. I have loved and missed you!” Eve leaned towards him “the wait was too long, but it’s over”, they shared a long awaited kiss then she laid her head on his shoulder as he wrapped his arm around her holding her close.

After roughly an hour the taxi driver, tired of waiting, wondered what was taking Eve so long. He, grumbling under his breath, got out of the car, drudging through the snow to check on her. Walking up to the building and as he stepped in, he found the old broken down barn empty. Old boards laying at the side where the stalls used to be and an old empty apple crate in the middle of the floor.

That was all that remained.