Lessons Learned from Recovering from Postpartum Psychosis: A New Mother's Journey

When my daughter was three months old, I was hospitalized with postpartum psychosis. After enduring weeks of insomnia, panic attacks, and intense anxiety that made the world seem distorted, I found myself in a psychiatric ward, convinced I was living in a hallucination.

Postpartum psychosis (PPP) is a serious condition affecting 3-6 out of every 1,000 new mothers. Symptoms can include delusions, hallucinations, irritability, hyperactivity, mood swings, and paranoia. Despite never having had a mental health crisis before, I experienced many of these symptoms, leading to a five-day stay in a mental hospital and another month and a half in an intensive outpatient program. Fortunately, with good care, medication, and therapy over the following months, I began to recover.

During my postpartum journey, I noticed a significant lack of resources and support for new mothers, particularly those struggling with severe mental health issues. With a Ph.D. in philosophy, I decided to start a Philosophical Coaching practice to help other mothers navigate the profound changes in identity, meaning, and values that come with having a baby.

Over the past six years, I’ve shared my story with hundreds of mothers and supported them through the transformative experiences of motherhood. I've also delved into research, attended conferences, and consulted experts to understand what happened to me. As I write a book about my experience, here are five crucial lessons I’ve learned from my recovery.

1. Postpartum Psychosis Does Not Mean You Will Hurt Your Kids

The media often sensationalizes postpartum psychosis, leading to the belief that it inevitably results in tragic outcomes. However, for 95% of mothers experiencing PPP, it does not lead to harm or death. Many mothers with perinatal mental health disorders (PMHD) have intrusive thoughts about harming their children, but they find these thoughts distressing, making it unlikely they will act on them.

2. Little Is Known About What Causes PPP

During my experience, I sought answers about the cause of my psychosis. Despite never having serious mental health issues before, no one could definitively explain why it happened. The potential factors include hormones, sleep deprivation, genetics, lack of social support, or other unknown causes. Like many aspects of women's health and mental health, the causes of PPP remain poorly understood.

3. You Can Fully Recover from PPP

When I was at my lowest, I needed stories of hope from others who had recovered from PPP. Like the vast majority of women with this condition, I made a complete recovery. It took medication, regular sleep, and a year of therapy, but eventually, I emerged stronger. Connecting with other PPP survivors and sharing my story played a significant role in my recovery, despite the stigma surrounding psychosis.

4. Social and Institutional Support Helps

Mental health is often viewed through an individual lens, but the lack of social support structures, such as paid family leave and affordable childcare, contributes to increased stress and higher rates of postpartum mood disorders, including psychosis. Positive social support is crucial for preventing and treating these disorders. As a society, we need to provide better support for mothers and families, especially those affected by poverty, racism, and violence.

5. Don’t Believe Everything You Think

One lasting lesson from my psychosis experience is the realization that my mind can generate wild and irrational thoughts. Humans have an evolutionary negativity bias, and even a healthy postpartum brain can be hypervigilant. Now, when I have frightening thoughts, I try to meet them with friendly doubt and not take them at face value.

Ultimately, my experience with postpartum psychosis has made me a more empathetic and compassionate person. It felt like a part of me was dying, but I appreciate the new version of myself that emerged. If you or someone you know is struggling with postpartum psychosis, help is available. Reach out to your doctor, a crisis hotline, or organizations like Postpartum Support International and Action on Postpartum Psychosis for support.

Postpartum Mental Health Resources

If you’re experiencing postpartum mood symptoms, know that help is available. Talk to your healthcare provider about treatment options, such as additional support at home, therapy, or medication. If you’re in crisis, contact a crisis hotline or dial 988 or 911 for immediate assistance. Remember, you are not alone, and recovery is possible.