![](https://res.cloudinary.com/jerrick/image/upload/c_fill,f_jpg,fl_progressive,h_302,q_auto,w_1512/6651a69ff0f5b6001e9ab179.jpg)
Rilee Arey
Bio
I am a professional life romantizer, with a heart that feels everything deeply. I am a moment collector through words and the ways around us.
Achievements (1)
Stories (170/0)
"Happy for Everyone Else Meter"
I went to the last of the four "friends" weddings that were on my books this year, and in lieu of supporting everyone else's love, I think I feel more lost within myself than ever. I cop the saying about how my "Happy for Everyone else meeter, is running low". In reality, it's hard to see everyone else have a person to share a dance floor with when I am alone. I know how selfish that sounds, but trust me, I hate myself enough for the both of us regarding this, nonetheless, it remains. It is kind of funny, in a cosmic comedic kind of way, how my favorite thing in this world is weddings as a photographer and videographer, yet I stand here alone selfishly divulging in my own pitty party of feeling like I don't fit anywhere while at this friends wedding.
By Rilee Arey14 days ago in Confessions
No Plus One . Top Story - May 2024.
It's nearly one AM and I just got back from my third wedding of the four in this last month alone, and I have always been alone. I hide behind my camera to pretend to be useful, hide behind a safety net of skill set. So I do not have to confront the loneliness that is sleeping alone when everyone else seems to have a partner to crawl into bed with. I love the time spent with those who decided I was worth the 30-plus dollars per plate they decided to spend on me, and I do not need to have a partner on these occasions, but it would be nice to have someone notice, me. See when I am in the corner because they know I need time to recharge and to kiss me on the head until the time has come to leave. Maybe that's the problem about being a professional storyteller, I dream of something that isn't meant for me.
By Rilee Areyabout a month ago in Confessions
uninspired
I keep waking up and feeling stuck, behind my eyes of what if I am no longer enough. Not for a person per say, but the actions that define me going about my day. I see myself, I see the list of dreams I have set, yet, I am in my head. Riding the coattails of the biggest theif of enjoyment, yet seeking that same disraction to ignore all of it. I can say I know what I want to do and where I want to be, but you see, I am my biggest enemy. Both locked behind watching a screen, but missing what I need to be learning. Instead, I am avoiding, toying with what I would buy with the money I don't have, being distracted by my time instead of it adding value. The screen, the knowledge, the dedication, the pressure of it being my occupation, should motivate me right? But instead I sit here and I fight with myself, denying, even, lying to myself on what would help. I am destroying my confidence by affirming my actions, of not doing anything at all. No longer extrodinary, not even oridnany, not a doer, but a follower. Someone full of wants with no direction, a complainer lost in disillusion. I am untterly stuck behind the lack of motivation and or determination to be the expectations I thought I could be. I want someone who knows what I am about to believe in me, but in reality, that person needs to be me. But here I am writing and rambling, over the uninspired poem I had to scratch out of my dislocated mind. I dont deserve anyones pity, because this illogic is considered blind. But here I am, uninspired, venting untill maybe I can feel the fire of desire to be better than I was today, but like I said, I am really good at what I say.
By Rilee Arey3 months ago in Poets
An Anniversary of it's Own
A full boat with no one I know. I am in a foreign country on foreign waters sitting with nothing but my thoughts as we head to reach the most crystal blue our eyes can devour, often known as paradise. It has taken me awhile to get here, not just the ninty minutes cruising on the rifts of the ocean, but to find a place where I am so happy to be alone without the need of someone to be my other half.
By Rilee Arey4 months ago in Chapters