Feeling Normal Again

Smoking weed and banging drums with long-haired hippies in the forest. Jumping through waterfalls and plunging into deep blue water. Finding my spirituality after being adopted by a monkey family and running with them through the wilderness… are the kinds of stories you’d think you’d hear when someone says they had a life-changing trip but my most memorable trip simply allowed me to feel like a normal person.

My best trip was a six-hour drive from my hometown of Montréal, Québec, to the lively city of Toronto, Ontario. Now, Toronto is somewhere that a lot of people in Canada have most likely visited, especially if it's right next door. It might not be considered somewhere super exciting in a “foreign” or “exotic” sense. However, it was the purpose of the trip that made it special to me.

I know we’re all tired of hearing about this but just bare with me for a second. After a terrible on and off two-year quarantine, I decided to take a gap-year between Cegep (College) and University. I had moved out of my mom’s house at 18, in the middle of the pandemic and in the middle of a strenuous semester. Like many people, I did not know peace for a long time. I was lonely and it was my first time experiencing always needing to have a job. My brain felt so fatigued from an overconsumption of social media, an uneven schedule and the gray walls that plagued my room. They were literally gray. Moreover, I lost the ability to have fun, particularly due to only leaving the house for work.

I wanted to feel "normal" again. I constitute a normal person as someone who is proactive, follows a routine and is in touch with their surroundings. Every single one of these aspects had dissolved for me during isolation and I wanted to find them again.

Towards the end of 2022, I got accepted into university to study English and creative writing, while my older sister graduated with a master’s degree in social work. So, to celebrate, we decided to head on over to Toronto. Our trip may not have included high hippies or wild monkeys, but it did include all my favorite things: poop-themed decor, connecting with my sister, and feeling more like myself again.

A Rabelaisian Treat

The Rabelaisian nightmare (or fantasy, depending on how you see it) that decorates my life continues. I vow to push the Rabelaisian agenda. As long as I’m alive, it will live on. I will pass it down to my children who will, in turn, pass it down to their children’s children and so on. When I heard that Toronto was the home of a poop café, it instantly became the most important place to visit on our itinerary. Visiting the Art Gallery of Ontario, holding expensive and sensible pieces? No, thanks. Visiting the CN Tower, Toronto’s most popular tourist attraction? Couldn’t care less. Going out with the cute comedian who offered to take us dancing? Didn’t line up with our reservation at the poop café. I couldn’t care less if everything else on our itinerary had fallen through. I couldn’t care less if I couldn’t less if the city went to purge. I needed to see that poop café.

Unfortunately, besides this big poop emoji, the café kinda sucked. The seats in the café were fake toilets which I gawked at, and when I found out you could lift the lids, I was ecstatic… until I looked inside. Why was there literal trash inside? Empty cups, utensils and bowls. I am not that gross. The instinctual "ew" from my sister was very valid here. I proceeded to close the lid and sit on the fake toilet, pretending as if there was not trash only 2mm below me. We were also the only two people in the café, not as lively and funny as I had hoped. Not enough Rabelaisian appreciation. Lastly, the food was just not good.

However, the "Fart Zone, Enter At Your Own Risk" sign, the big poop emoji and the overall idea and effort in visiting somewhere new made it worth it to me, especially with such great photos of myself coming into existence.

Looking Around For Once

Every year, when winter came around the corner, I’d shy away from it: hiding under a hoodie or a roof and not paying attention to how winter decorated Earth, and how beautiful it truly is. During this trip, I decided to actually acknowledge my environment. Now, this could literally just be my prefrontal cortex taking another step towards full development but it still felt nice to be present. This year, I decided to face the weather head on and do a happy winter activity: ice skating… accompanied with mulled wine as a crutch, in case I lost my mind.

On and off the rink, I paid attention to the way the snow sat on the trees’ branches, perfectly outlining their shapes like art. I perfectly bundled up in the perfect winter attire: cute earmuffs, fitted gloves and a classy scarf, rather than simply throwing on a thin jacket and hunching my shoulders everywhere I went with my gloveless hands shoved into my pocket, waiting for the warmer season to return. I allowed for the “if you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em” principle to take full effect and it definitely worked in allowing me to feel connected with my surroundings and the accompanying season. Simply being around others who were there to enjoy themselves in a communal space was a definite morale boost as well.

Keeping Grounded

In a January 2024 article, Calm.com states that "grounding your energy involves engaging in practices that help you connect with the present moment and feel more centered.

The act of planning a trip, travelling and following a schedule allowed for me to pay extra attention to my present environment, as I knew I had something new and exciting to look forward to, even if only for three days. This eliminated the possibility of thinking about future or past stresses and responsibilities.

Considering my sister and I hadn't lived together for about five years at this point, travelling with her allowed me to feel centered by being able to fulfill my role as a younger sister (or "baby" sister as she would say). Running up the stairs on all fours to scare her at one in the morning as she screamed "What the FUCK!" with the hardest pop of the "F" I have ever heard in my life allowed for me to have a painful gut laugh... in silence, in order to not piss her off even more.

Secondly, being able to profit off the younger sibling privilege of not having to be geographically coherent and mindlessly following my sister around as she led us all over Toronto. She could've led us into a bottomless pit and I would've just followed her right into it.

And third of all, hiding behind her 5'1 self whenever a stranger approached us to make basic conversation. We definitely looked like Lennie and George from Of Mice and Men, considering I tower over her at 5'7. Regardless, as an introvert, it is one of my favorite younger sibling perks.

Final Thoughts

Even though the trip was a short three days and may not be considered one of the more "exciting" travel destinations, there are many aspects of it that I, not only enjoyed, but am grateful for. Bringing my sense of humor to the surface, appreciating my environment and bonding with my sister. This trip served as a genuine reset and treat before the start of University and I will forever cherish it.