Real Life: Married To Someone Just Like Shameless' Frank Gallagher

Have you ever been watching a television show and realize your life is very much like the show you have been viewing? Well, I have, and I'm sad to say it is not anything as sweet as "Everybody Loves Raymond," or even as crazy as "The Conners."

My life is more along the lines of Showtime's hit show "Shameless." While my life may not be quite as exaggerated as the Gallagher family on television I can admit that it's loaded with just as many shameful and embarrassing moments.

I'm not proud, but I am married to a man who is very much William H. Macy's character Frank Gallagher in real life. My spouse is near the same age and gives zero F's if he publicly embarrasses himself, his family, or whatever friends he has left.

We have been married for nearly 40 years. For the past three decades, the man has worked very hard at becoming a full-blown alcoholic and drug addict.

Luckily for my children, whose names have been changed to protect the humiliated, are all grown and on their own. So at least they do not have to deal with their father's Frank-like behavior daily.

On top of dealing with a nearly 60-year-old man who feels the need to drink vodka from the time he wakes until he passes out, he has also added to it a nasty addiction to pain pills.

Doesn't matter what they are, whose they are, if he can't get his own he will find someone who has them to share. He has graduated from the town drunk to the person everyone just looks at and shakes their heads sadly because they know he could care less about wasting his life.

Years ago it would just be that some poor soul would drive m alcoholic husband home from the bar. Now he feels the need to be taxied around adding to the bank accounts of the local cab service.

Much like Frank he has stumbled in the door, falling face-first to the floor many nights. I no longer have any part in his addictions. He sleeps where he falls, as long as I can get the door shut. He wakes up a mess in vomit and urine.

He has been arrested many times over the decades for DUI, (no worries, he no longer has a driver's license or access to a vehicle.) He has been robbed, beaten up, and hospitalized numerous times for injuries and detox.

A few weeks ago he even added an overdose to his lengthy medical records. His children rarely see him more than three or four times a year. His grandchildren barely know who he is. As for me, well, I'm just exhausted from dealing with him for so long, so now I just don't.

I do my thing and he does his. Of course, I still have to stay on high alert because he does stupid stuff when he is wasted, such as start to cook food and pass out to name one.

It has come to the point where as soon as this nasty COVID-19 virus either stops or we get a handle on it I have decided to move out and on with my life.

Some may ask why have I tolerated it so long? Well, honestly I felt as maybe I could change him, save him from himself and return him to the man he used to be before all of his addiction ugliness took over his life completely.

But...I can't. Those close to the family know I have done everything within my power to try. I have accepted I cannot help someone who does not help himself. Someone who could care less what a tragic mess his life has become.

It is not on me, only him. I would have loved to have helped him, saved him from his demons, but as it stands now it is hopeless, pointless, out of my control.

So as I sit and watch "Shameless" on TV, I know it is crazy, but I do enjoy the show anyway. One thing that I am envious of is this...Once Shameless's hour on television is over all of the Gallagher family (cast members) get to turn off the lights and go on with their normal daily lives.

Me not so much, not yet anyhow, but hopefully soon. I guess the moral of this post is alcohol and drug addictions are no joke, they destroy, kill and they hurt everyone associated with the addict.

If you or someone you know is dealing with substance abuse be kind to them and remember it is not your (their) fault. You didn't cause it, can't control it, or cure it. Take care of yourself.