How to Create Happiness

If you struggle with mental illness such as depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, ANY mental illness, creating happiness seems impossible. I am sure someone has said to you at least once, "Why can't you just decide to be happy?" like its a choice. How have you responded to that question? How have you reacted to that question? Have you lashed out? Have you simply told the person you don't know, and if you did, you would! Or maybe you just stare blankly into their eyes as if they are the dumbest human on this planet. Who chooses to be sad and miserable? Who chooses to hate themselves? Who chooses to feel worthless and empty inside? Fucking nobody.

I struggle with mental illness. I have a fun little mixture of massive depressive disorder, bipolar II, generalized anxiety disorder, PTSD, and ADHD. Life is challenging on "good days", and I don't even want to talk about the bad days. Did I choose any of this? No way. My problems stem from a family history of mental illness and sever childhood sexual abuse. I definitely did NOT choose any of it.

BUT, through therapy and medication, I decided to finally take the reins and do whatever I could ,so these issues had less power to make my life miserable. I used to focus too much on my problems, and not enough on my strengths. It's easy to get wrapped up in sadness and frustration when I stare ate the bottles of pills that I have to take everyday in order to live as close to a normal life as possible. It's hard to accept that I have to rely on an outside source for anything close to "happiness".

Something I learned long ago to ease negative feelings, when it was hard to accept anything life threw my way, was to take action. Did my actions always result in me feeling happier? Hell no. But it gave me a sense that I had some control. Maybe my actions made someone else happy, and that was good enough for me. I would at least feel better for a while. The actions I take are always with the intention to make the world a better place, even if my world doesn't change much. When I see that my actions are successful, I find a sense of inner gratification, and sometimes that's as close to happy as I can get, but regardless, my life is also somehow improved.

When I was very young, before I had any of those labels attached to my identity, it was obvious that I was a creative. Anything related to art was my thing. I found out early in life that I could release negative or toxic emotions through creation and innovation. I became a dancer, painter, writer, fashion designer, scrapbook maker, potter, book binder, you name it, I made it.

As I grew older, my issues started to present in a way that made me feel like I was dying inside. The only way I could get relief or a break from the constant gnawing of hopelessness, anxiety, and depression was to immerse myself in my creativity. Without art, I would likely not be alive today.

Does creating a work of art result in a feeling of happiness? I don't think happiness is truly the right word to use, but it does create a sense of accomplishment, self-worth, inner calm, satisfaction, and when other people admire your work, a sense of pride and gratitude. The fact that I chose to take my negative emotions and throw them into a thing of beauty instead of hide under the covers with a bottle of wine, definitely, ALWAYS, makes me feel better about myself.

My grandmother taught me to sew at a very young age. Not with a sewing machine, but the old school way, by hand. Before I was a teenager we would go pattern shopping, and she would help me make my own clothes. Eventually she taught me how to make my own patterns, and in time to use a sewing machine. It wasn't long before I no longer needed her help, and I began my own endeavors by creating my own designs, making my very own fashion statement to tell the world who I was becoming.

All the craziness in my head would mute itself the second I got my fabric scissors out. From the moment I cut the thread to thread the needle, to the moment I began to cut out the shapes of fabric I had designed myself, to the moment I had completed my project, I was suspended and free of all of the negative static that seemed relentless. The action of cutting the thread to a perfect point, cutting the fabric as precisely as I was able, became a moving meditation that tamed the demons I was constantly fighting.

When the garment was finished and I'd wear it to school, the compliments I got made me feel good about myself. I made something that someone else could admire and that made me feel accomplished and thankful that someone noticed my hard work. Eventually my classmates started to ask me if I could make something for them, and that made me feel useful. I enjoyed the admiration. I felt good when I would make something for someone and they would love it. I felt appreciated.

Happiness and I have always had a tumultuous relationship. I have felt happiness in the way only I can feel it. You feel happiness in the only way you can feel it. But can you create happiness? Absolutely. If not for yourself, you can create it for others. Most of my positive emotions spring from my creativity, so I suppose I have created happiness or a sense of well being for myself a time or two. If it wasn't for my creative abilities, I would feel lost in this world.

So whatever brings you a sense of joy, tranquility, and yes, even happiness, never stop doing it. If you are feeling like you can't create happiness for yourself on "bad days", think of the joy your creation might bring to someone else. You will feel better when you're done. Of that I am sure, because I've never regretted anything I've put my creative effort into. My creativity comes from my good intentions. Not every project is successful, but I always feel better when I am brave enough to try something new. Creating is as close to happiness as I can get on the days where it seems entirely elusive.

I hope you enjoyed this piece. Go out there and share your creations with the world. Do what YOU do to create YOUR happiness. Happiness can be contagious, and there is always a need for a little more joy in this crazy world of ours. Until the, take care of yourself and be kind to others. Give me a heart if you enjoyed this piece. Tips are greatly appreciated but never expected. Until next time, dear readers, get your happiness on.