My favorite summer food is bottled Miller High Life beer. The most versatile of beverages, its circular, grated bottom slides spinning seamlessly into any occasion – whether an afternoon sitting by the noisy, urine-filled community pool; an evening flipping seasoned, elotes corn-on-the-cob with clicking, insectoid metal tongs on the grill; or a late, moon-lit night listening to classic-rock around the flickering fire. High Life is never out of place. As far as light, mass-produced domestic beers go, High Life contains within its bubbly, transparent glass encasement the best of every world. It’s hint of citrus provides refreshment, though its full-body is flavorful enough to be unique. It’s classic. It’s a beverage somehow both formal and trashy – somehow both pretentious and modest. And don’t go telling me that Miller High Life doesn’t qualify as food. I’ve spent many an afternoon filling my belly with that fizzy goodness, sustaining myself more than well enough – through an afternoon on the golf course, or at the pool, or by the creek – until the inevitable evening barbecue allowed me the opportunity to fill my stomach with something more traditionally “nutritious”. I can’t gush about it enough, as you can tell. It does its simple, though necessary job, perfectly.
Here is my recipe for the perfect Miller High Life beer:
1. Walk into the liquor store. Any liquor store is fine – all self-respecting establishments house the High Life on their shelves, but it’s better if it’s a local shop, where the people running the place recognize you. That way, their trivial small talk – agonizing as it may be – will put you more in the mood to consume.
2. Walk briskly through the snack aisles, averting your gaze from their tempting, magnetic pull. From my experience, Flaming Hot Cheetos are especially difficult to pass up, but regardless of whatever your favorite snack-item may be, make sure to keep walking – we’re not snacking today.
3. Upon reaching the back of the store, yank open the beer cooler with authority. Make sure to savor the refrigerated blast ejected from within; it should feel nice in contrast with the beating summer sun from which you just emerged. Remove one box of bottled Miller High Life beer. You'll be able to tell that it’s real High Life by the genius logo of a witch lounging happily astride a crescent moon.
4. Stroll confidently to the cash stand. Slide the box of beer across the counter with intention, though not so forcefully that the clerk can't catch it – you don't want your beer to fall crashing down, further staining the already dirty floor of the place.
5. Pay for your purchase. Cash or card is fine – it doesn’t much matter in this situation.
6. Go home and, before beginning your chosen summer activity, twist open the first bottle in your living room, or on your back porch. While turning the top, make sure to savor that refreshing tsss of moisture and carbonation freeing themselves from the enclosed bottle into the muggy atmosphere.
7. Take a healthy swig. Swish it around. Enjoy it.
8. After finishing that first beer, put on your trunks. Or load up your clubs, or get the kayaks out from underneath the crawlspace – whatever equipment your chosen activity requires.
9. Head out the door with a purpose, but don’t forget to put on sunglasses – that summer sun is no joke.
10. When all the beer has been drained, repeat from step one.
I hope you have enjoyed my recipe for Miller High Life. Some of you readers may not consider it authentic, traditional High Life – I understand that – but this is the way I’ve always done it; it works for me. In the end, that’s the beauty of the beverage, isn’t it? It’s versatile – it fits well in any situation. Feel free to let me know about any of your own High Life success stories – it’s always good to get some new summer inspiration!
Robert Pettus is a light-beer connoisseur. He spends most of his free time chasing his pet rabbit, Achilles, around the house.
About the Creator
Robert Pettus
Robert writes mostly horror shorts. His first novel, titled Abry, was recently published:
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PROOFREADING TUTORIAL
So, what’s the big deal about proofreading? Good writing is about a lot more than good grammar, just like basketball is about more than good dribbling. So why this obsession over typos, misspellings and grammar slips? Two reasons. First, judgment. Someone who doesn’t know a dangling participle from a dangling dinner guest can spot a typo. That typo can then be used to negatively judge you, your writing, even your intelligence. Don’t believe me? Here’s an article from the Harvard Business Review entitled “I Won’t Hire People Who Use Poor Grammar.” Author Kyle Wiens is CEO of iFixit. This CEO writes: People who mix up their “its” and “it’s” deserve to be passed over for a job, even if they are otherwise qualified for the position. I have a ‘zero tolerance approach’ to grammar mistakes that make people look stupid. Although there is no known relationship between obviously does not prevent others, whether employers or professors, from judging you based on easy-to-spot surface errors. This second reason might surprise you: It’s impossible too oops! need to correct that typo) impossible to accurately proofread your own writing. This fact makes it likely you’ll leave some type of error unless you take active measures. Why can’t you proofread your own work accurately? When writing, your mind creates a mental image of meaning that you attempt to transfer to the page. The catch is, while your mental image may be perfect, what ends up on the page may not be. When someone else reads your writing, the process happens in reverse: The reader looks first at the words on the page and then constructs a mental image. What a difference! You, the writer, have lying on top of the page, like a piece of wax paper, your perfect mental image that can prevent you from seeing clearly what’s there. The reader, on the other hand, sees the cold reality of the page, black squiggles on a white background, without any filter. That’s why the first proofreading tip is to ICE IT--put the writing away until your mental image has faded and no longer obscures the reality of what’s on the page. But the problem with ICE IT is time--It can take days or weeks for the mental image to fade enough. Few people, least of all students, have that time. We need tools we can apply immediately. One of the best is text-to-speech. These software programs let you hear what you wrote in someone else’s voice. In other words, you get to process your writing as a listener, not its creator. There are literally 100s of free text-to-speech programs out there that do the job. Our favorite is NaturalReader.com. It’s free, web-based (nothing to download) and offers drag and drop simplicity. NaturalReader can read 10 types of documents, has 18 English voices, and speed control in its free version. Many other text-to-speech programs can be found at review sites like TechRadar.com and elearning.com. The bottom line: Listening to someone else read your document helps you know what is and isn’t on the page. Another exciting technology for writers is the new AI-based spelling, style and grammar checkers. “Wait a minute,” you say, “Microsoft Word has offered its built-in auto checker since 1995!” And you’re right. But Word’s checker uses simple algorithms based on matching. Today’s advanced grammar, spelling and style checkers use artificial intelligence to understand the context of what is written, to make predictions and give insights about your writing. There’s no comparison between the simple spellcheckers of old and today’s advanced systems. Currently there are two of these products—Grammarly and Ginger.
By Timothy Mwitiabout 22 hours ago in Proof
THE MYSTERY OF THE BERMUDA TRIANGLE REVEALED!!
1. Over the previous five decades, 3,000 ships and 100 planes have mysteriously t within a specific area of the Atlantic Ocean known as the Bermuda Triangle.I Despite its infamous reputation, a recent science show on the Science Channel claims to have solved the mystery behind the Bermuda Triangle. 2. The Bermuda Triangle is a region in the North Atlantic Ocean bordered by the southeastern coast of the U.S, Bermuda, and islands such as Cuba, Hispaniola, Jamaica, and Puerto Rico. The area has a triangular shape with disputed boundaries ranging from 500,000 to 1,510,000 square miles. 3. Contrary to popular belief, the Bermuda Triangle does not have a significantly higher rate of disappearances compared to other regions of the Atlantic Ocean. In fact, a study conducted by the World Wildlife Fund in 2013 concluded that it is not one of the top 10 most dangerous shipping areas globally. The region sees heavy maritime and air traffic, and does not pose a higher risk for vessels and aircraft. Over the past 50 years 3 000 ships and 100 planes have gone missing in a mysterious stretch of water in the atlantic ocean .One minute they are there the next they vanished .They all have one thing in common; they all ventured into the bermuda triangle. The mystery behind the bermuda triangle might have finally been solved at least that's what a science channel show claims. The bermuda triangle is a region of the north atlantic ocean roughly bounded by the southeastern coast of the u.s, bermuda and the islands of the greater antilles ,cuba ,hispaniola ,jamaica and puerto rico . The exact boundaries of the bermuda triangle are not universally agreed upon .Approximations of the total area range between five hundred thousand and one million five hundred and ten thousand square miles. By all approximations, the region has a vaguely triangular shape . The bermuda triangle does not appear on any world maps and the us board on geographic names does not recognize the bermuda triangle as an official region of the atlantic ocean .Despite its reputation the bermuda triangle does not have a high incidence of disappearances .Disappearances do not occur with greater frequency in the bermuda triangle than in any other comparable region of the atlantic ocean .In 2013 the world wildlife fund conducted an exhaustive study of maritime shipping lanes and determined that the bermuda triangle is not one of the world's 10 most dangerous water bodies for shipping. The bermuda triangle sustains heavy daily traffic both by sea and by air and is one of the most heavily traveled shipping lanes in the world . The egonic line sometimes passes through the bermuda triangle; The agonic line is a place on earth's surface where true north and magnetic north align and there is no need to account for magnetic declination on a compass. The bermuda triangle is subject to frequent tropical storms and hurricanes ;the gulf stream, a strong ocean current known to cause shark changes in local weather, passes through the bermuda triangle. The deepest point in the atlantic ocean the milwaukee depth is located in the bermuda triangle ; The puerto rico trench reaches a depth of four hundred and ninety three feet (eight thousand , three hundred and eighty meters) at the milwaukee depth so the bermuda triangle which was again another enigma of the previous generation is not anymore these days. Nobody, and no ships go and crash in burmuda triangle. It's a difficult to navigate place .There was a documentary in the news channel showing how difficult it is to navigate the bosphorus{ the water body between two parts of istanbul in turkey } is called bosphorus, so it's a difficult place to navigate there are eight radar stations which helps the ships through these days . Earlier many ships used to crash into something or the other but now there are eight radar stations guiding them through .Because it's a little complicated, it's like there will be some road bends where every other day there will be an accident .People will immediately say there is some ghost waiting here causing accidents gathering more ghosts . It's just a an upcoming road ,like this is a climb sharp bend it's a railway track below a sharp bend like this and it goes off this way people come and every day crash into this culvert board's leading to dangerous accidents . people think they must cause an accident ;i don't know how many hundreds and hundreds of people have gotten killed on this band. It was famous so similarly bermuda triangle is just a difficult place to navigate because it's an old volcanic spot there are spears underneath like small peaks underneath the sea. One should know how to navigate.This keeps happening around the italian coast also because some places are not easy to navigate and negotiate ,it takes a certain skill and today these things have come down dramatically .Nobody goes and disappears into Bermuda triangle because every ship has gadgets which show everything; there are sonar readers ,there are radars and radio altimeters and everything which shows you a million things so people don't crash anymore. When captains of the ship were taking the ships into these kind of situations with only their visual and their own sensory capabilities ,there was every chance for this to happen, so people are always looking for intrigue .This is not a bad thing because these are all aspiring students of mysticism .Because they didn't find a way they invented something, instead of discovering something they invented something so you don't invent anything the important thing is you discover something. Discovery means it's about truth. Invention means you made it up; don't make up anything it's important to open the doors in the existence not to imagine something .A team of american scientists from the university of colorado analyzed satellite weather images of this notorious area and noticed a series of unusual hexagonal clouds on them; the meteorologists theorized that these clouds might act like real air bombs .It's believed they are the main cause of the deadly blasts of air which can easily exceed 170 miles per hour .These hurricane force winds literally blow up the air and can generate waves of more than 45 feet in length (no ship can survive such a storm and no aircraft can withstand such a wind) .The announcement of this theory has motivated a lot of further research .Scientists from all over the globe are trying to figure out what would be the cause of such anomalies.Do you know any other mystery of the bermudas?be free to share it in the coments .
By Trending breaking news7 days ago in Proof
Comments (1)
This is my absolute favorite read thus far! Aside from being witty and unique, I couldn't agree more with its argument.