same but different

Stage 1: The Sickness

1. Hozier Take Me to Church

Yes I know I am sick. Full of sick ideas that is! I just need to protect them until they can grow up and start to defend themselves from all of you.

I can hear you talking, your malicious prayers wishing me down, holding me back, I can hear them.

I am not you. I am me. My Gods live in shaligram stones from the East.

In my home,

there are rocks inside hearts and hearts inside rocks.

2. Frank Ocean White Ferrari (alternative intro)

Her feet on the dashboard, she likes to talk a lot.

She talks about the weather, the sun, the sky, the different shades of the sky, the cumulus layer of the clouds in the sky, how one of the clouds looks like a giant UFO in the sky.

Can those tic-tac aliens talk this much?

Maybe the ones with anxiety.

Stage 2: The Treatment

3. Vashti Bunyan "If I Were" - "Same But Different"

We are fragile.

The light glimmers between green leaves and shimmers down on your body resting on the grass. Your eyelids flicker from under that ochre hat we bought from the yard-sale last year. Do you remember?

We both liked it but neither of us bought it.

We went back and we bought it.

Where is it now?

4. Frank Ocean Nikes (live studio recording)

Growing up does not always equate to growing. The older I get the less I grow.

It could be out of fear or from a lack of proper nutrition.

It's hard to say, these days I am quite alone.

5. Living Theatre Its a Lovely Day

It is.

6. Pink Floyd Wish You Were Here

We hid under the same blanket.

We were hoping these winds of change would not blow our covers away.

When you left you told me to create my own light but it was difficult to do so when shrouded in complete darkness,

more so knowing that I had always sparked it from you.

Stage 3: The Fake Recovery

7. Khruangbin Pelota

I want to be pure.

I am no muggle, stop calling me one. I am magic. I am the Prince that defeats the dragon. I would say slay but I don't want to hurt it too much for every soul knows pain.

I will defeat it nonetheless, drown the Chinese Fireball while downing four fireballs,

I don't chase.

7. Mariya Takeuchi Plastic Love

The small mirrors go round and round, the discotheque lights: pink, blue, red, yellow bounce around. Pretty ladies pass me by asking for a light, I refuse. I tell them, try higher.

Everything in life was fake to begin with so don't come at me wanting something real.

8. Queen I Want to Break Free

I don't want no hips on my belt, no one controls me except Love and Death.

Today I will not get jealous reliving my past lives.

I will not look for revenge although I could use something a little sweet.

I have been so bitter.

Stage 4: The Real Recovery

9. Frank Ocean Self Control

The dance floor is crowded but I see all that light and space around YOU,

a gravitational pull.

You catch me.

-

I grew up not rich. I have always lived in small rooms

with my brothers and sisters,

my aunts and uncles,

my mothers and fathers.

I never really had much space to myself.

You'd think that would lead to all kinds of frustration.

But I was calm as a young boy; my family was proud. I told them this is who I really was, I was calm, I just never got that angry.

But really, it was all about controlling yourself.

-

You catch me.

I look away.

10. Takako Mamiya Love Trip

How do you move your fingers so gently yet make my rib cage scream to want to free itself?

The heart has four chambers, the revolver has six.

If loving and dying are both even, why are we so odd?

Stage 5: The Break Through

11. Igor Earfquake

The ground begins to shake.

Was it because we were dancing or was it the pill I took to make sure I didn't get in my way?

12. Ravi Shankar at Monterey Pop

We used to desperately cling onto faith. We would always live in fear.

It was inevitable.

It's called scarcity mindset or something like that.

The fear of failing because failing means you wasted the only opportunity we all had. You blew it for yourself and for all of us.

-

Fear brings with her many friends and most of them are insecure about themselves.

So it was only right I staggered when You held my hand and pulled me towards fear. Who in the right mind walks towards fear?

Ah, the right mind. That's right.

16:00

It was chaotic shuffling across the crowded dance floor,

16: 10

too many things happening all at once,

adrenaline coursing through my eyes, overpowering the bitterness inside, turning to nectars of the mind, everything so divine,

16: 20

art mimicking life, space mirroring time, I went back into the past to grab the future from under the bed and ask

how many signs do you need to show up for yourself and fight?

16: 30

for when you do, the Universe too switches to your side.

16: 40

- The Rescue 16:50

13. Fanna-Fi-Allah The Controversial Qawwali

Inside fear there is no creation,

Inside You, I found my creator.

14. N I A L L I S H Follow God

I do what I want

like God on a Sunday

can you tell that I am brown?

a minority, but a wrong kind of model

I listen to the land

indigenous knowledge resurrects

I listen to my man

past failures crumble flat.

15. Don McLean Vincent

And from the ruins,

I sing to you

- the outro