Trying new shit to stay well

I am on a desperate journey to implement regular self care and wellness practices. My issue is, despite a large part of my job being developing those skills, practices, routines and rituals with other people - I'm hopeless at doing it for myself.

It's not that I've never done it, I just find it incredibly hard right now. It's a global pandemic, I have had an actual year from hell where everything that could, did go wrong. It has only just been the last month I have found myself without any form of spare time and with the luxurious opportunity to drag myself out of survival mode. I've been emotionally and physically running on fumes for some time now and if I have learnt anything in the 12+ year of therapy I have been in and what I learnt through studies and work is you can't pour from an empty cup.

I also have a lot of feelings about the concept of "self care". You see, I can't help but feel really suspicious of aspects of the self care and wellness movements. Why you ask? Easy - Capitalism and Consumerism. There's this intense pressure to drop mad mounts of money on self care, beauty treatments, facials and expensive bath bombs that utterly fuck with the PH levels of your vulva. If that's your jam, Awesome - I love that for you. But I know for some of us it's a weird space to be in.Like, what? Now I have to spend money on myself with money I made at work so that I'm destressed enough to go back to work? I'm just not sold. My other issue is, self care feels like a dirty word to me. I'm gonna be real honest here, I'm very good at burning myself out. I am also very good at disassociating and it was a main coping mechanism for me for years and still is sometimes. I am the eldest daughter of a dysfunctional family and I live with Complex Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, my ability to put myself first isn't my strong point and that's a downfall.

But here I am, willing to navigate this utterly foreign feeling journey with the kind folks of the internet watching. It's going to be uncomfortable, very honest and just a bit fucking weird at times.

My first thing I am trying - A womens healing circle.