My dad owned a farm and he would often have sickly animals on board, and this one particular animal stuck with my heart for so long after. Here is a poem I wrote about our connection.
Such a sweet little creature,
And it was so profound that
He was my teacher.
The little bull could barely walk
But it almost seemed like
He wanted to talk to me.
He wanted to relay to me
What he had just seen
Before coming out the womb.
He wanted to help me bloom.
I could barely get out of the bed,
But it brightened my day to see him each day.
Getting him his hay was such a blessing
And it was almost like meditation
Every little session we had together.
I knew our time together wouldn’t last forever
But I enjoyed each moment like the last.
My father said you could make it,
But I just didn’t think so.
You were so gentle and fragile,
It almost broke my heart
When they said your heart had a hole.
My eyes were swollen
By the time they dried.
I kissed your head
And didn’t leave the bed for a week.
I watched you from the window occasionally,
But it pained me too much to leave.
I told my father I was sick
But really I was just sick of seeing you this way.
Almost 7 days and I was pushed to stand by your side.
I almost cried getting dressed.
It was just too much stress
And I wasn’t sure I could handle seeing you this way.
Day by day
I had to fight back fears of losing you
And the tears didn’t want to stop flowing.
I guess it helped for growing
And healing;
But I wish I didn’t have to heal from that.
I wish I didn’t want you back.
A few months go by and you get a big bigger,
But not by much.
I know you’re planning to croak
Anytime soon.
I know I’m gonna miss you
And it makes my throat dry.
But I felt I had to be strong,
For you.
It didn’t look it,
But I knew when you were in pain.
It always left stains on my shirt
And I hated how it made my throat dry.
I hated the thought of you ever having to die.
My father thought it strange that we got so close,
But it wasn’t weird to me.
It was a bad way too cope,
But I knew I had to treasure you.
I knew one day soon I would never see you again.
Your parents seemed to know too,
And they were so protective of you.
They only let me around
And it felt so profound how sad it made everyone.
Even my evil older sister Beth shed a tear or two.
All this commotion for you,
The gentlest bull I had ever seen.
The kindest creature I had ever had the pleasure to meet.
I might miss you for a lifetime,
As it’s already been 5 months since you left.
I know you’re still around,
Likely manifesting in the wind.
You sometimes help the flowers pollinate and
You make it cool when it’s too hot to bare.
I miss your little tail
And the way it flickered at my father.
You were such a trickster
Even in your weakness.
O
How I adored your sweetness.
If you had ever hurt a fly
I’m sure you’d have felt remorse.
The day you were no more
I know I felt so horrible.
But my father had reminded me,
That now you didn’t feel so weak
And you were better off there
Than you ever were here.
I didn’t want to believe it,
But after much grieving
I did finally receive it.
About the Creator
Ari Asha Love
Been writing all my life but the question is whether or not I truly take it seriously.
You can find me on most social media platforms as afroqueergod :)
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