Reunited

Ravaged by longing.

Ross when will I see you again? Just us in our own way.

We have our rituals and they sustain me. Do they sustain you?

I had broken his trust. Reflecting now? This has been a life lesson in love.

My son.

There was no choice but to be strong, resolute, know my role, consult and act. I did so with responsibility; with knowledge and compassion.

I felt sure of the outcome yet I failed. I wasn’t professionally supported. I felt the deep grief of betrayal.

It was damaging for both of us. I will never forget your fear. Nor mine.

The collateral damage beyond the immediate. It’s so easy for others to judge and blame.

Some try to understand this private World of pain. For many it is beyond their life-scope. Some have opinions. They think they ‘know.’ They don’t.

Even when you find relief with another with lived experience. Everyone’s story is unique.

This was ours.

In time ...

Will he understand that I was fighting for his wellness? An intervention regardless of the consequences?

Failure.

I thought I could cope.

The impact?

Disbelief. Rage. Loss.

Can the hurt and broken trust be undone? Perhaps not then when the trauma I caused was too raw.

In parallel my own crisis.

Would this ever end?

*

An overnight stay.

He texts:

R: I’m here.

P: Great! Come on up.

As he approaches I am breathless and nervous.

P: Are you ever too old for an Easter Egg Hunt?

R: What!? I’ve got this!

*

An Easter Healing.

We we’re reunited again.

Pauline Fountain. © 2021. All rights reserved. No part of this work may be used or reproduced without the written permission of the author.