My Mourning Prayer on 9/11

My Mourning Prayer on 9/11

I don’t recall my morning prayer.

Did I pray for world peace?

The terrorists were seated by then,

Maybe had control.

How was the world to know?

News flashed past my ears.

Later, I understood the enormity;

Then I mourned.

Such evil! Such travesty!

The walls came tumbling down…

In more than one way.

Petty differences set aside

Now in each other, we confide.

As I lay me down,

Oh God,

I pray

May this longer last

And not fade in the past.

2020

I remember my paternal grandmother on her birthday, 9/11, each year. She died six years before the 9/11 terrorist attack. My father thinks she would have been very upset knowing her birthday was on such a sad day. This year she would have turned 115. My maternal grandmother passed away last week at 90 years old. She witnessed almost a century of history — 89 elevenths of September. Both grandmothers lived through a world war and the Cold War. I remember 19 elevenths of September since 2001 and the War on Terror.

What hard times have you and your ancestors weathered?

2001

In August 2001, I started my freshman year at the junior college in my hometown. I lived at home and my parents drove me to campus. I stayed for classes and walked home afterward. About three weeks into my freshman year, the world changed.

Around 7:30 am MDT, my mom drove me to school in a red Ford Taurus when we heard the news on the radio of an attack. Something had happened, but I didn’t catch all of it. I attended my freshman writing course and the professor mentioned nothing about the news. Two days later, he apologized for not addressing the terrorist attacks, explaining he hadn’t yet heard the news that morning.

At home, I watched the news for many hours as I digested the information of attacks on the Twin Towers, Pentagon, and Flight 93. The image of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers seared into my memory.

On September 13, 2001, I wrote this in my journal:

It has only been two days since 9/11. Someone is laughing at their cruel joke I suppose. That of course, was the day when idiots hijacked four planes. The World Trade Center collapsing. Pentagon. There will be many words said and written about this terrorist attack. And I will say a few of them. So many lives have been affected (besides the thousands that are dead). Now they say New Yorkers are [more] considerate. They changed. Did it have to take that much to change people? I hope it is a permanent one. Petty stuff doesn’t matter.

I worked on a poem after the terrorist attacks. It seemed the best way for me to sort out the chaos I felt. The poem appears at the beginning of this article.

After 9/11, I felt a change in our country. We became kinder and more patriotic. People donated blood to help those in New York City and the Washington DC area. We donated money (some got stuck in charitable bureaucracies). Some negative things happened too. We had to navigate our negative feelings about Islam and Middle Easterners. We gave up some of our freedoms in exchange for safety. And wars lasted beyond their objective.

Do you remember 9/11? Or only what have you heard from your friends and family? How do you process painful events--through journaling, drawing, talking?

2004

For these 19 years, some have speculated how we could have stopped the 9/11 terrorist attacks. I witnessed one solution when I toured the Shanghai Art Museum with fellow volunteer teachers in 2004. We gasped when we saw 9/11 footage playing on a stairway wall. The planes flew toward the World Trade Center, but then the planes bounced off the Twin Towers. I read the description for the video: The artist portrayed his little girl’s idea of planes bouncing off buildings. That was her solution to stop 9/11.

So may we have planes and buildings that bounce off each other. And may we have the resilience and courage to bounce back from defeat.

What has helped you bounce back from hard times?

2021

Twenty years have passed since 9/11. Twenty years fighting in Afghanistan. Now all US troops have been pulled from Afghanistan. We had a 20-year war. Yet the war feels unfinished. President Biden bungled our exit from Afghanistan, leaving hundreds of American citizens and Afghan allies behind. Some ask if fighting in Afghanistan was worth it now that the progress has been reversed. I feel we can’t regret what we have done because of a difficult ending. We can remember: We provided a safe place for some in Afghanistan. We captured and/or killed the terrorists behind the 9/11 attacks. Some Afghanis have immigrated to more stable countries. Private groups continue to help those in harm’s way. Every small effort helps.

Are there times when you feel like your effort was in vain? Can you think of the good that came from your efforts anyway?

My continued prayer

The walls came tumbling down…

In more than one way.

Petty differences set aside

Now in each other, we confide.

As I lay me down,

Oh God,

I pray

May this longer last

And not fade in the past.

This article appears on my personal blog and Medium page. You can find me on Twitter @oeileend_oed.