How Do I Use Thee, Mask?

How do I use thee? Let me count the ways.

I use thee to the depth and breadth and height

My face can reach, when breathing out of sight

When I cannot maintain a six-foot space.

I use thee to the level of every day's

Most germy need, by sun and moonlit night.

I use thee freely, as men strive to fight;

I use thee purely, as eyeglasses haze.

I use thee with the passion put to use

In my relief, and with my doctor's faith.

I use thee with a zeal I seemed to lose

With my last fears. I use thee with the breath,

Coughs, sneezes of all my life; and, if law choose,

I shall use thee even after death.

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This parody has previously been posted on my personal blog and Medium account. For Browning's poem, click here.