The darkest clouds I've ever seen
Such troubling dreams
Always, the dichotomy; the self and the desires
One crawls in the mud, indulging, thoughtless
The other stares in disbelief, powerless
*
The most shameful corners of one's mind, laid bare
A surreal picture of one's inner wishes,
one's buried instincts, primal drive,
free from reason, pure will, an absurd spectacle!
*
And so ugly and vain and everything bad
are these secret, hidden desires
Akin to a perverted, distorted reflection
or perhaps, a glimpse of a truer self,
emancipated?
*
Well then!
Is that all there is, beyond a doubt?
Beyond our reason, morals and civility?
A kaleidoscope of carnal needs, barbaric,
a rejection of the world, in favor of one's pleasure-
An abstract Will?
*
''I throw away my future, my life, for this one moment.''
I waste it all, to make true my revolting wish.
To desecrate, lay claim, to take, simply, absurdly.
And my sword at the ready I stop myself,
Blessed lucidity
*
This is not who I am.
This is not who I am!
*
I lay down arms, never to be taken again.
A short lived solace, since I did stop myself
I idle in torment, troubled by my own actions
Yet the horror that I would go so far, only to hesitate,
I can't help thinking, perhaps that is what I really am?
A monster, and therefore, a coward?
About the Creator
YonathanJ
I've been an avid reader for as long as I remember, and a writer since childhood. Crafting stories fascinate me. I write to share my outlook on life, that is often taken too seriously. Hope you enjoy my writings
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