I'm Okay

Somedays I want to lay in my bath and pull my head under water to drown out the thoughts of myself hatred.

Somedays I stay under a little too long.

I hear a knock at the door.

“Are you okay?”

“is everything alright?”

I get out and smile.

“Yes, love. I’m okay.”

I’m a prisoner in my head.

I beat on the walls of my memories to silence them.

I rattle the cage of my anxiety in hopes to escape.

My depression comes in to beat me down and shoots me up with apathy.

I sit in the corner of my mind Numb with nothing left to feel.

You want me to come out and play but I only feel it’s best I stay away.

To drag another into my hell, I call a conscience, would be a crime.

I can't feel my tears. I don’t remember why I’m crying.

Why am I crying? Wait...

Why can’t I breathe?

My head feels like static. What am I doing with my hands?

My heart it’s beating so fast.

I can’t see anything. Am I dying?

I’m choking.

“Hey you’ve been quite are you okay?”

“Yes, love. I’m okay.”