Have We Come Full Circle?

Ahh, I can’t sleep.

I’ve got you on my mind.

Wishing you were here,

Wishing you’d send me a sign.

.

Finally, make your feelings clear.

Why can’t I get you out of my system?

Why can’t you be here?

We’ve been caught up in this years-long rhythm.

.

A “will they or won’t they?”

“Are you ‘Just Friends,’

Romantic feelings now non-existent,

Or is there a couple’s commitment?”

How many times have I been asked this?

.

I smile, and I shrug.

‘We love each other, it’s true.

He’s one of my best friends,

And there’s nothing I wouldn’t do

If he asked me to.

.

He’s always had my back.

It’s mutual, in fact,

But the truth is that our status is currently… blurred.’

And I’m hoping that soon the answer will no longer be so obscured.

.

Our future may be unwritten,

But you have to know,

You’ve still got me completely smitten.

.

Our obstacles have been enough to make my head spin.

Yet we’ve stuck by one another through it all,

Thick and thin,

And you’re still the one who makes my heart feel as if it’s on the brink of a fall.

.

Life’s dilemmas no longer intimidate me.

I am fortified by your belief in me.

So, any hurdles that may come, feel well within our capability.

That is if you’re here with me.

.

I know everything won’t magically slip into place.

It just feels far less daunting

When you’re by my side.

.

Tonight, I lie awake,

The stars are twinkling just outside my window.

I count them in a futile effort to fall asleep.

.

Still, I’m anxiously awaiting your call.

Pondering over all the feelings

I’ve dispensed with this outpour

And I wonder…

.

Why didn’t we recognize how good we could’ve been,

All those years ago?

Looking back, it feels like forever, you know?

Are we ready to finally give this our all?

.

Some things have remained constant.

My feelings for you have been ever-present,

Even as they’ve adapted and changed over time.

.

Nine years later, I still wish you were mine.

We seem to have come full circle.

Yet, I’m still here waiting for a sign

With my thoughts venturing back in time.

.

Was our chance merely a thing of the past?

Or is now the moment we’ve been waiting for?

Are we ready to embrace something we know will last?

.

I wanted you way back then,

And I want you in the here and now.

For us, I believe it’s never really been a question of how,

It’s always been a matter of when.

.

There’s no use in denying

I want you here.

I miss the feel of your kiss

And I can all but taste you upon my lips.

.

The memory of you lingers still.

Why sugarcoat it?

Your voice has always had my butterflies doing flips.

.

When you say my name, it’s like an incantation upon your lips.

The way you move summons something deep inside of me.

You look at me and it appears as if your eyes have the light of a hundred tiny luminaries contained within them.

.

It’s as though your very being contains the light of the stars,

Or could your feelings be the reason for their glow?

Perhaps it’s both? I truly don’t know.

.

The most important questions remain:

Do you want to be with me?

Do you feel this connection as soulfully?

Are your feelings as multifaceted as they appear to be?

. . .

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This poem was originally published on Medium.