goodnight

i’m sorry i didn’t say goodnight tonight

i normally would and i usually do

but you know the last couple of days i just wanted to talk to you

like before but different

we’re different now

maybe i still love you and you still don’t love me

but it’s been a while

what 9 months? sounds about right

but anyway

i wanted to talk again

and just like before, i was the only one speaking

no amount of love could make you talk again

not from me at least

maybe the other person that you put your time into makes you the happiest you’ve ever been

and if they do

i’ll still love you

but watching the numbers on your snapstreak go up in hundreds

while the hours i’ve been left on delivered go up too

makes my eyes water from the hurt

i can’t continue to wait at your foot like a dog

no matter how much i want to

so tonight instead of texting again to make sure you’ve seen my texts

i’ll let the hours go up with your snapstreak

so i’m sorry i didn’t say goodnight tonight

even thought i normally would

and usually do

and i’m sorry i haven’t said i love you

even though i want to

-please notice that i love you

(5/27/24)