I remember when I had first gotten there,
And the sound of screaming kids
Had touched my ears.
It made me feel so eerie
Smelling the scent of medicine
As I walked through the halls.
The guards who dragged me in
Were extremely tall and strong;
Hardly any empathy from them.
I was less afraid of them, though
And more afraid of the general atmosphere
Within the walls.
The other kids were fairly pleasant,
But I found it so difficult being present
When I had so many obligations on the outside.
The guards all had this superiority complex,
Yet all of them were extremely dense
Once you stripped them of their pride.
It was really quite annoying
To be told I was somehow less than,
Even though a big question of mine was their employment;
And how easy it was to toy with them.
It was so interesting to learn about how other folks had gotten there;
But one thing I could have done without is the unnecessary fear.
People talked of pineal glands and understanding,
But I couldn’t so much as fathom what they were discussing.
I met a few cool people who stuck around in my brain;
A few nice humans that made me feel so safe.
My experience is not universal and I do recognize
That a lot of people go to these places
And they feel utterly traumatized.
But honestly,
I didn’t mind the two times I had gone.
I just wish the visits didn’t feel so long.
I just wish it didn’t feel like they dragged on.
I had met this beautiful woman
Who went by the name of Lauren.
It made little sense to me how she could have gotten there,
But by the third conversation it was revealed to me
How she nearly killed her boyfriend for sabotaging her pregnancy.
She told me how she couldn’t believe it
And that she wished they had never even met;
How she held so much regret for him.
Would you believe me if I told you she became my best friend?
Somehow I felt for her,
Even though I could never get pregnant.
I got close to this woman
And watched the climb toward anger.
It was pretty clear to me
That it wasn’t just aimless.
But because so many people just didn’t want to listen,
The only way she knew was to shout.
Too bad few people cared to figure her out.
Too bad so many people tried to make her doubt herself;
She was living in hell.
And I hated to witness it.
I couldn’t imagine how she felt,
But I could almost feel the regret
When she spoke to me.
I could almost feel the disdain
From the recall of her memories
All I could really do
Was sympathize with her misery.
The food wasn’t all that bad,
Though I was one of the few who felt this way.
I wouldn’t say that I loved it,
But I can think of much worse dishes.
Nonetheless,
I don’t believe anyone deserves this lack of freedom.
I don’t think anyone deserves to feel so dumb.
But alas,
This is what we get for “not being normal”.
4 white walls and a journal.
So inhumane and actually so evil;
This might sound silly
But it really is quite medieval.
Lauren told me about a room
Where they sent those who misbehaved.
She said she was sent there once
But it was so bad she made sure it only happened once.
She said there was a bright green light in there
And it almost made her go insane.
Then she laughed and said it didn’t take much for her brain.
I saw the room she spoke of,
And it really looked horrendous.
I could not believe they were allowed to treat people like this.
I knew parts such as this would not be missed.
I remember the day I got to leave
And those I had grown close to were a bit mournful.
Mostly because I could not be there to make them chortle anymore.
I said my farewells to everyone that day
And to Lauren it was the longest.
Her hug was the strongest.
We talked for about an hour
And the atmosphere was sour
With the knowing that we might not ever meet again.
I had to believe that we could possibly meet again.
About the Creator
Ari Asha Love
Been writing all my life but the question is whether or not I truly take it seriously.
You can find me on most social media platforms as afroqueergod :)
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