Expression
When is a Poem Not a Poem
When is a poem not a poem? Short answer? When you want to cheat the system a little bit. Why cheat the system? Because sometimes 600 words is too much, but Vocal has no other place for short articles. But also, this article is more about my poetry than not. So, perhaps I’m cheating the system less than I think. But anyway, I wanted to take a moment to talk about expressing one’s self.
I’ll be the first to admit, I’m not good at talking about myself, in person or in writing. Why? Because I don’t actually like talking about myself, despite what some may think. This is because despite how personable and gregarious as I can appear, I’ve found that beyond certain kinds of entertainment or subjects, a lot of my life experiences have made it difficult for me to relate with many people.
For instance, by the time I was 14 I had moved 24 times, and my freshman year of high school was the beginning of me going to the tenth school I would end up attending(without ever having been expelled) before finishing high school. The combination of moving nearly twice a year up to that point combined with me having been an only child up until 14 made it so that I was often alone as a child.
This had its upsides and its downsides. Upside, I never felt lonely, even into adulthood, if no one was around. I often didn’t notice or care. Downside, people tend to think I’m quiet in person, but the reality is, I’m just not used to having people to talk to. And most of the people that I was around growing up were often more concerned with other things than to give me the time of day.
So, why am I writing this? Especially, since I said 600 words is too much. Well, as some know, a few months ago, I lost one of the most important people in my life. And this led to a lot of reflection on my life the last few months. In this, I've noticed that a lot of my writing lately has been me releasing those thoughts in my writing. Not just in my poetry, but also in the next chapter of my WIP. Some of it is things I’ve held on to for years. Some are new things that have made me question where I am in life. Some were people that have made my life immeasurably better than it was, and that I will miss until I see them again.
I write this for those that are like me. Those that don’t publish everything, because they’re nervous that the world will know their innermost thoughts.
We can’t control everything, but we do control what we do and don’t express to the world. So, express yourself. You never know if you’re the voice in the darkness someone needs to hear today. And don’t worry about the rest.
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Comments (10)
Healing isn't linear. It's unsurprising that the loss of your loved one has brought up new feelings you may not have fully dealt with. I hope you find the act of writing cathartic, and that your grief and confusion pours out of you smoothly.
This writing is deeply felt. I send healing vibrations for you in dealing with your grief and feel resonant sensitivity for your loss. There are an infinity of emotions inside you because of your unique life circumstances Atomic Historian. I am humbled and appreciative of such personal sharing. There is always understanding here.
My deepest condolences on your loss! Losing someone we love is always difficult. I am an only child and can relate to what you said about never feeling lonely. Opening up is a matter of personal tastes. Some people are open books, others, like me, prefer being discreet. We don't need to know everything about someone. ;-)
I am so glad you are opening up at your own pace. 🥳Can’t wait to read your interviews
Sorry for your loss and look after yourself
So sorry for your loss😢😢😢Change and stress. Please take care!
Firstly, so sorry for your loss. And oh, how I can relate with the not opening up. I realize that with some of my pieces, it may seem that I bare my very soul. But there's so much more that I'm not sure I'd ever be comfortable to share. I get it.
Sorry for your loss. Sending prayers your way. And I thought I moved a lot. In the last 20 years, I've moved 8 times within 3 different states. Moving takes a lot out of you both mentally and physically. Hope all is well. Thanks for sharing.
This works for me. Thank you for sharing. I'm sorry for your losses. You're in my thoughts & prayers.
This was great place to put your post- our lives are like poem we create with every breath. It took me over 50 years to start sharing things I never spoke out loud. I’m here with you on this journey.