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Day Break

Not Welcome

By KJ AartilaPublished 2 months ago 1 min read
Top Story - May 2024
Day Break
Photo by César Couto on Unsplash

Can I feel your rage this ‘rise,

or is the beast within me still,

while I sip my morning coffee

and drown my wake-up pill?

Until the dawn is quiet,

I cannot get my fill

of my wishes and my secrets,

quickly swallowed with my swill.

Adjusting daily to this solitude,

held against my will.

I’d like to shake this routine up,

I wish it were my right.

Only darkness is my comfort,

never morning light.

Sometimes my insides echo,

screaming for a fight.

But I’ll just bite my tongue this day

and take another sip;

I’m not in the mood right now

for the lashing of your whip.

love poemssocial commentarysad poetryMental Healthheartbreak

About the Creator

KJ Aartila

A writer of words in northern WI with a small family and a large menagerie.

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Reader insights

Outstanding

Excellent work. Looking forward to reading more!

Top insights

  1. Compelling and original writing

    Creative use of language & vocab

  2. Excellent storytelling

    Original narrative & well developed characters

  3. Heartfelt and relatable

    The story invoked strong personal emotions

Add your insights

Comments (24)

  • Nagoh Creative (Greg)about a month ago

    Wonderful and congrats!

  • Anna 2 months ago

    Congrats on Top Story!

  • Shirley Belk2 months ago

    I felt like this every morning before getting in my car and fighting traffic to get to work...Congratulations on your Top Story!

  • Babs Iverson2 months ago

    Fabulous rhyming and loved it!!!💕❤️ Congratulations on Top Story!!!❤️

  • angela hepworth2 months ago

    Congrats on top story! Loved your rhyme scheme throughout.

  • Gloria Penelope2 months ago

    Great story, congratulations!

  • "Only darkness is my comfort, never morning light." Those lines were so relatable. Your poem was so poignant and emotional, it hit me so hard. Sending you lots of love and hugs ❤️

  • BrettNotGreg2 months ago

    I could feel this in my bones through and through! Great work, and congrats on top story!

  • Sonia Heidi Unruh2 months ago

    The raw, barely controlled emotions in this poem pulse through every line. Love this -- "Sometimes my insides echo, screaming for a fight."

  • Denise E Lindquist2 months ago

    Congratulations on top story 🎉🎉🎉

  • JBaz2 months ago

    Nice beat and flow throughout Last two lines clinches it Congratulations

  • Melissa Ingoldsby2 months ago

    That last part is so heavy it feels like a huge weight on your chest so exhausting and terrifying

  • kp2 months ago

    oof! raw and honest, yet delightfully paced and rhymed. a well-deserved and vulnerable top story. thanks so much for sharing.

  • Thavien Yliaster2 months ago

    Since it's You, I'm looking at this more so from a parent-child perspective than a couples' perspective, but it also reads like that of friends arguing. Plus, I'm surprised that You don't use Your whip to disarm them of theirs.

  • this had such a great flow...GREAT job! Congratulations!!

  • Khan2 months ago

    It's awesome

  • Congrats on the Top Story! The rhythm is amazing!

  • Esala Gunathilake2 months ago

    Just wow.

  • Emil indw2 months ago

    Is this the implied saturation? 💁🏻‍♀️

  • Margaret Brennan2 months ago

    excellent.

  • Andrea Corwin 2 months ago

    I like it! It sounds like living for the weekend when one doesn't have to get up and go to work.

  • C. Rommial Butler2 months ago

    Well-wrought! Excellent rhyme and rhythm! Hope you are well!

  • Ooofff, this is powerfully tragic! Well written KJ!!!

  • Cathy holmes2 months ago

    This is great, especially the last 4 lines. I feel that.

KJ AartilaWritten by KJ Aartila

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