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Why Can't You Tell People What to Do?

Ever Wondered Why Giving Orders Rarely Works?

By PhilipM - IPublished about a month ago 5 min read
Why Can't You Tell People What to Do?
Photo by Elevate on Unsplash

Imagine you’re trying to convince a friend to change their habits. You tell them exactly what to do, step-by-step. But guess what?

They don’t listen. Frustrating, right?

This happens because you can't tell people what to do and expect them to follow blindly.

People are unique. They have their own dreams, fears, and motivations. When you give orders, it can feel like you’re ignoring their individuality. Instead of feeling empowered, they might feel controlled or misunderstood.

So, how do you inspire action?

Connect on an emotional level. Share your own experiences and struggles. Show empathy. When people see that you understand them, they’re more likely to open up and consider your advice.

Next time you want to influence someone, try asking questions. Encourage them to think and come up with their own solutions. This approach not only sparks curiosity but also empowers them to take ownership of their actions.

Remember, your goal is to inspire, not to control. By understanding and respecting others’ feelings and perspectives, you can motivate them to make positive changes on their own terms.

Have You Ever Wondered Why Telling People What to Do Doesn't Work?

Do you want to understand why giving orders often fails?

This is for anyone who feels frustrated when their advice is ignored.

Because people are unique with their own dreams and motivations.

Learn how to inspire action and feel the joy of seeing others thrive.

"You Can’t Tell People What to Do; You Can Only Inspire Them to Discover Their Own Path."

The Struggle of Trying to Control Others

Ever felt that gnawing frustration when someone just won't listen to your advice? That sinking feeling when you see them making mistakes you know you could help them avoid?

It's painful to watch, especially when you care deeply. The fear of watching someone you love stumble can be overwhelming. Yet, trying to control their actions only leads to resentment and misunderstanding.

This struggle leaves you feeling helpless and anxious, wondering if they'll ever see the light. The truth is, you can't force someone to change. It has to come from within them.

The Tale of the Stubborn Tree

Imagine a tall, sturdy tree in the heart of a dense forest. This tree, with its thick branches and deep roots, stood proud and unyielding. Now, picture a fierce storm rolling in, its winds howling and rain pouring down. The tree, strong as it was, didn’t bend or sway. Instead, it resisted the storm with all its might.

As the storm intensified, the tree's branches began to crack, and its trunk started to splinter. Despite the pain and fear of breaking, the tree refused to change its stance. It believed it could withstand the storm on its own terms. But the more it resisted, the more it suffered.

Now, ponder this: What if the tree had chosen to bend instead of break? What if, instead of standing rigid, it had let the wind guide its branches? The tree would have endured the storm with grace, swaying with the wind rather than fighting it.

This story teaches that you can't force others to change by telling them what to do. Just like the stubborn tree, people must find their own way. They need to feel the wind of life and choose their path, even if it means bending a little to avoid breaking.

By Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

5 Step-by-Step Actionable Solution: You Can’t Tell People What to Do

Sometimes, trying to guide others feels like hitting a brick wall. Instead of directing people, inspire them to find their own path.

Here are five actionable steps that can transform your approach:

1. Lead by Example

Show, don't tell. Be the change you want to see in others. When your actions align with your words, people notice. They might not say it, but they observe and often follow suit. If you want others to practice kindness, start by being kind yourself.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of giving direct advice, ask questions that encourage thinking. For example, instead of saying, "You should meditate," ask, "How do you feel after you meditate?" This invites reflection and helps others discover the benefits on their own.

3. Share Personal Stories

Share your own experiences and struggles. Relatability is powerful. When people hear about your journey, they may see parts of themselves in your story. This can inspire them to take similar steps without feeling like they're being told what to do.

4. Offer Support, Not Solutions

Be there to support, not to solve. When someone shares a problem, listen actively. Sometimes, a listening ear is more impactful than unsolicited advice. Offer support by saying, "I'm here for you," rather than, "You should do this."

5. Celebrate Small Wins

Recognize and celebrate the small steps people take. Positive reinforcement can be incredibly motivating. When someone makes progress, even if it's minor, acknowledge it. This reinforces their behavior and encourages them to keep going.

By following these steps, you can inspire others without telling them what to do. Remember, transformation begins within. Empower others to discover their path, and they will be more likely to embrace change willingly.

By Brooke Cagle on Unsplash

Embrace Flexibility for Growth

Just like the stubborn tree in the heart of the forest, you've learned that rigid resistance can lead to unnecessary pain and struggle. When life's storms come, being flexible and bending with the wind can help you endure with grace.

Many people have found that embracing flexibility leads to better outcomes. They talk about feeling more resilient and adaptable in the face of challenges. This approach doesn't just help you survive; it helps you thrive.

Imagine yourself swaying with life's winds, finding strength in your flexibility. You'll notice how much smoother and less stressful life can be when you go with the flow rather than fighting against it.

So, think about your own life. Are there areas where you could be more like the tree that bends? How might that change your experience during tough times?

Feel free to share your thoughts or experiences. How has being flexible helped you in the past? Let's start a conversation and learn from each other!

Thank you for reading.

Your support is invaluable to me, and there are several ways you can assist:

Consider following my profile to stay updated. Engage by detailing your experiences and challenges in the comment section. Encourage others by sharing this content across your network. Feel free to leave your thoughts and if you find the material beneficial.

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About the Creator

PhilipM - I

Hi, I am Philip, a DreamManifestor expert. I guide those facing spiritual, physical, mental, or emotional challenges towards healing and transformation for holistic well-being and inner peace. Connect here: https://bit.ly/PhilipM-I

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    PhilipM - IWritten by PhilipM - I

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