Where Did You Get That Idea?

I have a confession to make. I used to be ashamed of staying in the bed, taking naps, or even sitting on my bed if I wasn't going to sleep. Growing up, none of these things were allowed. My siblings and I were always told that lying in bed all day made us lazy and we were yelled at if we even attempted to breathe on the bed before our 8:30 pm bedtime. By that time I wasn't sleepy anymore.

I am not the only one that has heard this from the older generation that raised us in the late 80's early 90's. I never understood where these ideas came from until I was enlightened about how they grew up. My Aunt raised her second set of children in her late 40's. My sister and I along with my first cousin, her son's children, whom I call my siblings grew up under her watchful eyes. In her day it was seen as high treason to lie in the bed if you weren't deathly ill and I am talking about deathly ill. She would tell us stories of how her family would wake up at the crack of sunlight to go out to work and retreat into the house at dusk to eat and sleep. There was no in-between. There was no time to "doddle" around. There was no time to just be. Houses were just made to eat and sleep in, but only after you worked. No need for Television because you were so tired the TV would be watching you. If they had one.

Sure there were shade trees and sweet water natural wells to take breaks around, but nothing that involved going home and taking a nap. My Aunt would tell stories of how she felt so sick after working on the farmland from sun up to sundown. She passed out as soon as her feet went across the threshold of their house " many a days". There were only 12 hours to rest before she was up and at it again in the fields working.

I don't want to get into the psychological trauma this produced, we can chat about that later. I just wanted to shine a light on why this was repeated to me as a young girl and it stayed with me into my marriage. My husband even thought like this. In our "survive life or die trying " days, I worked 2 jobs 4 days a week. My primary job was from 8 to 5 and the second job was from 7 to 1 am. I also worked an early morning shift from 3 am to 6 am for a stint. I was in my early 20's, so the 5 hours of sleep in between was tolerable. Or was it?

There would be days I'd be so tired that I would fall asleep on I95 driving home, when I was off from the second job. We didn't have children at that time so I would shower and jump in my bed for a quick nap before my husband would get home from school. I am a light sleeper, so when I heard the keys turn the locks. I would jump up and pretend I was cleaning the closet or looking under the bed until the "sleep" face went away. On my days off, I would jump out of bed as if I was going to work and get busy doing things that had nothing to do with sleep, rest, and rejuvenating my mind and body. Why was I doing this?

I was ashamed that I needed rest. I was ashamed that I touched the bed before it was time to go to bed. I felt lazy and was told I was lazy for wanting a nap. My husband had been raised by a parent that had a strict work ethic and he had the same idea engraved in his mind. When he saw that his wife was succumbing to the lure of the bed. He would quickly remind me, just like my Aunt did.

I don't blame these people for their idea that the bed was a producer of laziness. I don't even blame myself for not listening to my body. I look at it as valuable information for evidence of environmental circumstantial programming that has been passed down and accepted as truth. My job now is not to pass this idea down to my children or share this idea as a perception with anyone.

It took me a while to reprogram and figure out that, that idea had no place in my idea pool. No way do I believe this anymore because I have fact-checked it for many years and there is no evidence that supports this idea. I could talk about this one for most of your day, but I want you to enjoy your all-day escapade in the bed.

In my humble opinion, staying in the bed all day shows a level of commitment to your peace of mind and whatever else you need to do to rest. Make a commitment to love YOURSELF enough that you form your own opinions and check them out for YOU. If you are going to make any resolutions this year. Make a resolution to see how far resting can take you.