satire
Workplace satire, comedy, and all things satirical in the Journal corporate culture digital space.
Limo Stories #1
Its 6:00 AM and 12 degrees on the Tuesday before Christmas. I back down a long suburban driveway for a 6:15 AM pickup of a woman plus three extra passengers. At about 6:10, the woman comes out to tell me that the bags are ready to go. Now she’s the typical kept housewife: no job, three to four kids and the most serious thing she has to deal with on a daily basis is keeping her yoga appointment. I get out of the car to fetch the bags off the porch, dump them in the trunk and out comes a boy and girl about seven years old.
By Nicky Testaforte3 years ago in Journal
Nibbles to 4th May 2021
DAVID vs GOLIATH IN A SHOPPING PARADE “One person can make a difference, and everyone should try” JFK (Allegedly) Near where we live is a small parade of four shops. If I mentioned three of their trading names beyond the confines of Ringwood here in Hampshire in the UK people would not recognize them. That is how local and independent these three shops are. They harbour no ambitions for national or global dominance, just a desire to service the local community through sheer hard work to supply the quality of products that local consumers want. They are Belinda’s the bakery, Poulner Fish and Chips and the Wine Box. There is a fourth shop, a Tesco Express, which is owned by a national giant in the UK retail trade sector. (annual turnover 2019 £37.2 billion.) A true "Goliath" of UK retail.
By Alan Russell3 years ago in Journal
A Field Guide to Creative Writing Classes (Part Two of a Series)
Continued from Part One... WARNING: This series of articles may offend women, men, minorities, non-minorities, animal-rights people, SF fans, fantasy fans, horror fans, romance fans, poets, sociopaths, sociopathic poets, Moms, Dads, Christians, non-Christians, Narcotics Anonymous people, piscetarians, vegetarians, vegans, and well, pretty much anyone who isn’t me.
By Deborah Moran3 years ago in Journal
A Field Guide to Creative Writing Classes, Part One of a Series
I recently had a wide-ranging conversation with a friend, another writer, over drinks, about the various writer’s groups and creative writing classes we have participated in over the years. This led to the realization that –
By Deborah Moran3 years ago in Journal
Caveat Lector - let the reader beware to 30th March 2021
"Observation is a dying art" - Stanley Kubrick FOR GOODNESS SAKE SIR DESMOND CHECK YOUR FACTS Our local Member of Parliament, The Right Honorable Sir Desmond Swayne MP, like many of his fellow MP's publishes a regular BLOG. There is an extract shown below:
By Alan Russell3 years ago in Journal
Omar's Diary for the rest of March 2021
The last to weeks of March have not been too bad. Mitzi has fully recovered, Man Servant has recovered from his first COVID vaccination and we are waiting to see what side effects Lady Servant will develop overnight following her first vaccination late this afternoon, 26th March 2021. Hopefully they won’t be as bad as Man Servant’s reaction as he did rather suffer. Part of me thinks he may have been hamming it up a bit.
By Alan Russell3 years ago in Journal
In the Line of Duty
Red exit-sign ribbons shimmering the lengths of freshly-polished linoleum floors in darkened hallways with locked passages waiting for the jingling of rings of keys to give them a purpose and the promise of a daily life. Soldier-like Coke machines alongside transparent condiment vendors, all with “OUT OF ORDER” proclamations scotch-taped between their eyes, advertising their most-recent injury in an ongoing battle – a battle that has rendered them again, space-occupying, lethargic and useless ornaments of the catacomb landscapes that will soon bustle with the sounds and various fragrances of a needy and youthful humanity – and propped in varying degrees of lifelessness against barren, inert and sterile walls in a hostile foreign land.
By John Oliver Smith3 years ago in Journal
Terms of Service
“Thea, Ansen, Bracken! I’ve got another one that needs your help!” Darcy Coles clicked and hung up the speakerphone at her desk. TalkBox Media Group owned the entire third floor of a reclaimed lumber house between Seattle and Portland. Urban hipster meets forest chic was on-brand for them. Darcy was training as their first full-time tech support staff and it was a challenging first day.
By Horace Wheatley3 years ago in Journal
Headlines, Yes...But--
Once upon a time, many moons ago, I took a Journalism class. Yes, I did. It’s true. It was taught by Bill Duncan at Green River High School, if you care. He taught me a lot, but one lesson has stood out in my memory all these years, and it was all about the importance of a good headline. (Credit where credit is due–Thanks, Mr. Duncan!)
By Paula Shablo3 years ago in Journal
If UK Supermarkets were People
This post was created with the support of OpenAI. In the bustling streets of the United Kingdom, a peculiar yet charming transformation takes place as dusk settles. Imagine, if you will, the high streets and busy avenues being graced by the presence of walking, talking groceries. It might seem straight out of a fairy tale, but let's indulge in this whimsical journey where the beloved supermarkets of the UK come alive, each bearing a personality as vibrant and varied as the products that line their shelves.
By People! Just say Something!4 years ago in Journal
6 reasons why it sucks to be a writer
My, oh my, why couldn’t I be an accountant? or a banker? … or a freaking lawyer? My last 3 posts on Vocal are all about how thanks to falling in love, becoming an immigrant and COVID-19 I re-discovered myself as a writer. However, I'd say that for a long time I was afraid to even call myself one because I was too scared of what people will think. Why? Let's be honest, being a writer or any kind of artist doesn't necessarily mean that you have a job. It just means that for some unknown reason you love sharing your mind and soul with the rest of the world and hope to get money from it.
By Martyna Dearing4 years ago in Journal