Rerisen

Sometimes when obstacles present themselves, disillusionment descends upon us in what seems to be various cloaks. It can be difficult to see through the roadblocks, and even much more difficult to see them as opportunities or perhaps even signs for our life's road to take a different turn or deviation.

A chance for us or for our passions to be rerisen.

When I was about eight years old, I knew that I wanted to be a writer. My mom told me that I had always been creative since I was a toddler, taking pieces of paper and drawing on them or even creating stories of my own in pictures when I wasn't able to write words yet. At ten, I thought that I would be an author or a screenwriter by eighteen.

Obviously that didn't happen!

However, by thirteen, I had written about seven novellas that I kept saved in the computer (maybe I'll post them here one day for nostalgia purposes!). I took it upon myself to write to the Library of Congress, and get three of my stories copyrighted. I even went a step further and--when I was seventeen--I self-published one of those books. I was determined to have all of those books published and be accomplished by twenty-one.

That didn't happen either!

At the age of nineteen, I wrote a novel that I consider to be my most beloved. I consider it to be my child. However, all I had done was write it, and I ironically steered my goal from there. I was in college, I had moved 400 miles away from home, and I went to film school. I always loved movies, so I wanted to get into that business instead. I felt it had to be easier than being an author. My goal went from wanting to be a published author to wanting to be a director to wanting to be a screenwriter.

All of those also fell through.

Life took several turns for me, and I stopped consistently writing for a good amount of years. I ended up meeting someone, and I had a daughter that hadn't been planned. Surprise after surprise had fallen upon me, which carried me further away from my initial desires to be a writer. Fast forward a few years, and I had gone from a path in a career with the Department of Education to unemployed for a year and a half. Every time I attempted to get back into the movie business, something else came up, and so I gave up on that dream.

After 2020, I started reevaluating everything that had occurred in my life. Depression hit, and I hadn't known what I wanted any more. Why had it all made a complete circle? Why was I once again starting from square one?

Why did I somehow manage to come back to writing?

I had noticed that every time my life took a downward turn, I found myself writing more. Each time that I thought I wanted something else and didn't attain it, I came back to writing. Even now, as I write this, I came off a two-month hiatus from writing because of a busy work life and getting my mind and self back together.

And after all of that, I'm currently on a vacation in the mountains, and I'm using this respite to release all of the creative energy that has been compiling within me...

...only this time, I don't plan on abandoning what I love most.

I wish to stay writing from here on out, and I'm using this wonderful platform of Vocal to do so. I'm very glad that I've finally found someplace to release all of my thoughts and creativity, even if they're just in passing.

I hope to continue to thrive in my passion, and to frequently write because that is when I'm calmest and happiest.

Sometimes when you feel like your life is steering you one way, it is merely a detour toward where you were meant to go all along.