Living With Mental Illness and Chronic Pain

First off, we would like to mention that this is NOT how everyone else feels. This is strictly our own experience, and everyone has their own story and experiences. Now, onto the main event!

What do we deal with on a daily basis?

Our current diagnoses are depression, anxiety, bipolar 1, ADHD, D.I.D, and PTSD on the mental side. Chronic pains are intense migraines, hip, and back pains that cause difficulty walking, positional vertigo, and on-and-off issues with sciatica.

For those who may not know, position vertigo is awful. Any movement of the head can cause extreme dizziness, balance issues, and problems walking. The world is spinning, it is difficult to look around, and all we can do is take medications and lay down. We were told the cause is loose crystals in the inner ear, which move around and cause dizzy spells.

Yes, that is a lot, and it is such an annoyance. We are on several medications and take over-the-counter ones for pain. It may not sound like much, but having to deal with all of this daily is a constant struggle and we are always exhausted. These pains have also caused insomnia, we live in a constant state of exhaustion.

How do we manage?

Some days are easier than others, and there are days when we can't do anything. We no longer drive due to blackouts, dissociation, possible switches, and dizziness.

Migraines cause slurred speech, stabbing pains, and sensitivity to light and sound. Sounds almost like being drunk.

We do see a chiropractor, psychiatrist, and therapist. I would highly recommend anyone having issues to find a therapist, it's difficult but can help a ton. Don't ever be afraid to drop a therapist if you don't feel comfortable with them, it can take time to find one that suits your needs.

We don't trust doctors, as we've had traumatic experiences in the past, so we never go to one unless it's absolutely necessary.

What is it like in our brain?

Noisy, non-stop ideas for art and writing, constantly on edge and paranoid. The noise is our D.I.D system members, as there are 13 of us in total, so it's similar to being in a middle school cafeteria. On top of that, our ADHD causes racing thoughts, hyperfocus on topics that aren't needed, and random bursts of cleaning and organizing. Distractions are a huge hindrance, and as of writing this, we are getting distracted by gaming videos and the storm outside. It never ends.

If you are curious about D.I.D and would like to learn more, we did do a little article explaining it in better detail.

What helps us, even a little?

We do A LOT of art ranging from paintings to digital art for our shop. Journaling also helps a ton, such as short writing like this one here. When we start to lose ourselves and can't stay present, we tend to blink multiple times, drink something hot, and touch something warm, soft, or textured. Staying grounded is a difficult activity, especially if switches happen between alters. We've seen that having ice in your mouth or splashing water on your face can assist with grounding and snapping out of anxiety attacks.

As I said in the beginning, this is our personal experience. We are not mental health professionals, and any techniques we've mentioned are what we've found that work for us. Feel free to try any, and if it does help you then we are glad! Take care of yourselves and loved ones, and just be polite and caring to others, you never know what someone is struggling with.

Thank you for reading!