Me, Myself, and I - A D.I.D. Convo

A side conversation between my 3 favorites authors: Me, Myself, & I .. minus You ... ....

AUTHOR(S) ASIDE:

I: “Aside of what?”

Me: “What?”

Myself: “I said – “Aside of what?””

Me: “What does I mean?”

Myself: “I meant to say, just what exactly is the author a side of? Is he a side of beef maybe?”

Me: “Ha, ha. Very funny. I’m aside of Myself.”

I: “I was just curious. People wanna know these things.”

Me: “I don’t think they really care.”

I: I do so. And I will think what I want to.”

Myself: “Okay! Okay! Sheesh! The author is aside of whatever he happens to be standing next to.”

I: “Hmmm. I guess so. I’ll think about it.”

Me: “You do that.”

Myself: “Is You still here? I thought he left, after that little, uhm, incident earlier.”

Me: “Nope, he’s gone. Probably at the hospital. Now, where was I at?”

I: “I is right here!”

I: “Has anyone noticed how we keep speaking in third person?”

Me: “Technically aren’t we a third person?”

Myself: “Oh, just shut up! Now, where was I – DON’T ANSWER THAT!"

AUTHOR ASIDE: Tongue in Groove - A Little Johnny Joke

Tongue in Groove. What a wonderful phrase. It’s a personal favorite of mine. As such, I have made up my own personal “Little Johnny Joke” especially for this term. You may have heard of Little Johnny before, or maybe not. It doesn’t really matter. Little Johnny was created by some comic whose name is lost in either the mists of time or the fog of alcohol in order to encapsulate the idea of a pre-adolescent boy in the process of discovering his own personal versions of ‘Universal Truth.’ Or maybe he just reminds me of my little brother: No, that can’t be it. I was the little brother. Regardless, for your perusal – here’s the joke: Oh, before I forget. One slight caution. Due to sexual innuendo this joke is rated PG-13. And, forgive me, it’s kind of long, but I hope, in the long run (pun intended), worth it:

_____ Anne O. Nimity _____

Little Johnny ran into his big brother Billy’s room early one morning, all excited and jittery. Jumping onto Billy’s bed he proceeded to vigorously shake his brother awake while intoning “Billy! Billy! Wake up Billy!”

Attempting to rub the gummed sleepy-eyed gunk from his eyelids, Billy sat up and yawned. “What is it, Little Johnny?” he asked, jaw popping.

Beaming as proudly as a Cheshire Cat that just caught the canary Johnny announced “Billy, guess what! I found out what it is that Mom and Dad do in their room at night that makes all that noise.”

This tidbit brought Billy awake in a flash. Popping up in the bed, Billy looked at Little Johnny’s shining eyes. “Oh really? And just what exactly is it that Mom and Dad are doing Little Johnny?”

Grinning from ear to ear, Little Johnny proudly stated “They’re makin’ furniture!”

“Furniture!?” said Billy.

“Yep. Furniture!” said Little Johnny.

“Ooookaaayy… Just how did you discover this Little Johnny?”

“Well, it was real late, an’ I hadda go to the bathroom you know…”

“And…?”

“Well, as I went past their room, I heard it.”

“Heard what, exactly, Little Johnny?”

“I heard the proof. Mommy said it herself. I ‘pacifically know they’re making furniture because I heard Mom tell Dad “It’s okay honey. You can finish with the tongue in groove.””

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The above is an excerpt from a comedic work I wrote a while back that is mostly a dictionary written in puns {think Jeff Foxworthy} that is narrated by three subjects: Me, Myself, and I. The Dictionary is called

P.O.P.P.L.E.R. – EFFECT ::

Plethora of Pedantic Phrases Limited English Rendition

As you can see it is also smattered with a number of jokes. All jokes contained therein are the product of Me, Myself, and I. No You there.

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