Introspection on a Terrible Day

Another picture frame was tossed into a box. The photo it used to hold was a crinkled wad in the trash can. Aleah was boxing up her life as she prepared to move from her ex-boyfriend’s apartment. The problem was she didn’t know where she was moving to. She had interviewed with a prospective roommate yesterday but lacking the upfront payment of the first and last month’s rent, she wasn’t sure if she was going to be able to commit to the lease agreement for a new apartment by tonight.

After filling two more boxes with her personal items, she carried them down to her vehicle. As she exited the building, she saw some of the neighboring children playing in the street, riding their bikes back and forth. They appeared to be having fun, all except for a 7-year-old neighbor girl named Willa. Willa was sitting on the curb looking longingly at the other children riding bikes. She did not have a bike of her own to join in the fun. Aleah could sense Willa’s sadness as she watched the other children and pessimistically thought to herself “misery loves company” before turning to walk to her car, feeling like a miserable mess herself.

On the return trip, she grabbed the mail from her box in the lobby and carried it back upstairs. Looking at the letters in her hand reminded her of another item for her “to do” list. She pulled a small black notebook from her purse and added a note to stop at the post office and request a change of address. Aleah was always making lists and her friends teased her about her notebook, pointing out the various apps that would simplify her task list and organize her life for her. But Aleah resisted, enjoying the feeling that came from using a pen to scribble through a line item or place a deliberate check mark on the page.

Sorting through her mail, Aleah pulled a letter from the pile and opened an unfamiliar envelope addressed to her. Her eyes bulged as she unfolded the letter to reveal a check for $20,000. Her eyes jumped to the letterhead and saw it was from the real estate company that she had been corresponding with for the last 8 months. When her beloved Grandpa had died last year, he had left a small, undeveloped piece of property to his 3 grandchildren. Despite her grief, Aleah and her two cousins had decided not to keep the property and had enlisted a company to make the sale in their behalf. She’d received an email over a month ago that had stated an interested party was ready to purchase the property. Aleah had signed and returned her share of the paperwork and had been told she would be contacted when the sale was finalized. However, she hadn’t heard anything since. With the drama of her failing relationship, she hadn’t given the sale any thought. Now she turned to her laptop sitting on the coffee table and searched for emails from the real estate company. Sure enough, two weeks ago she missed an email from them stating the sale was complete and once the paperwork was processed, Aleah would be receiving a check in the mail.

Aleah’s eyes leaped back to the $20,000 check which she had left sitting next to her laptop. “I have twenty thousand dollars!” she thought somewhat bewilderedly. Her mind raced as she started tossing more possessions into boxes with less care than she had previously shown. Twenty thousand dollars wasn’t a fortune, but it would certainly go a long way towards helping ease the pain of her breakup. That was when she remembered her need for new living quarters and immediately picked up the phone and texted the woman advertising the room Aleah wanted. Aleah happily committed to sign the lease and promised to come by later that evening to deliver payment.

After her phone call, Aleah sat back, relief washing through her at having a place to live. As her mind contemplated other items she might purchase, she knew she absolutely had to make a list. Her lists lately had sadly focused on things she had to do resulting from her changing circumstances. Now as she pulled out her notebook and considered her monetary boon, she had the chance to write a different list. In her notebook, Aleah wrote, “My Happiness List”. It did not take long for the page to fill with items, but when the idea popped into her head to treat herself to a spa day, she stopped and looked into the mirror above the mantle. She saw herself, no makeup, eyes a bit puffy still from her long cry last night, hair pulled up into a messy bun, and she didn’t like her reflection. She had been feeling down for the past few months, a feeling that went beyond her declining self-esteem and crumbling relationship. Right then she decided that what she needed to feel happy would be to spend some money on herself; a little self-care to lift her sorrow.

She finished throwing the rest of her items into boxes, and after several trips to her overflowing car, she left her apartment key on the counter, locked the door and walked away from her home and her failed relationship.

Aleah immediately drove to the bank where she deposited her $20,000 check, cut a second check for her new apartment, and pocketed some cash for some spontaneous spending. Next she searched for local spas on her phone and made an appointment for later in the afternoon. With time to kill, she drove to her favorite clothing store and spent a delightful couple of hours trying on clothes. She bought three new work outfits and two causal sets, as well as a pair of shoes and a new handbag.

Afterwards in her car, Aleah transferred the contents of her old purse to the new handbag and stopped when she pulled out her small notebook. She crossed three things off her list and smiled before driving to her spa appointment. After getting her nails painted, a facial, and having her hair cut and styled, she walked out of the spa wearing one of her new outfits. As she caught her reflection in the window, she realized she felt…good. She looked great and the pampering had made her feel relaxed as well.

Finding she was thirsty, Aleah decided to get herself a smoothie from the juice bar a block away. The weather wasn’t too hot, so she chose to walk to her next errand. She was thinking about her day as she passed a convenience store where some bikes were locked to a bike rack out front. The bikes reminded her of Willa from earlier that morning. She thought about her own good fortune with the arrival of the unexpected check and her enjoyment at spending money purchasing the things she wanted. After all of Aleah’s costly purchases that day, she began to wonder how much could a child’s bike really cost?

Lost in her thoughts, Aleah walked past a bookstore where an older gentleman with white hair was sitting at a folding table in the shade of the store’s awning. A sign on the table declared it to be a drop off site for reading glasses. Aleah stopped when the man smiled at her and she asked why he was collecting eyeglasses? He replied that the donated glasses, both the lenses and most especially the frames would be used in “medical missions,” wherein qualified medical professionals traveled to other countries to provide free vision care in areas with limited access to eye doctors. Aleah had never heard of such a charity and regretted that she didn’t have any glasses to donate. The man said they took cash donations in addition to glasses, to aid the doctors in their travel expenses. Aleah reached into her pocket and pulled out $200 cash and gave it to the man. He thanked her profusely and assured her that many men and women would benefit from her generosity when combined with the contributions from others.

Aleah smiled as she finished her walk to the juice bar. Although she didn’t know any of the individuals that would be aided by her money, she had seen the poster of happy, grateful people receiving and wearing glasses and she pondered on how a seemingly simple thing such as a pair of glasses could be a life-changing gift for someone else.

After returning to her car, she searched on her phone for a store where she could purchase a child’s bike. She drove to the shop and after perusing the bike section, settled on a dark blue and purple bike which had the night sky sprinkled with stars across the frame. As she paid for the bike, her earlier confidence in the gift turned to nervousness. Would Willa like the bike? Would her parents be okay with accepting such a large gift from a now former neighbor?

Aleah felt trepidation returning to the apartment complex that only hours earlier she had thought she had left behind forever. She parked in her usual spot, rolled the bike up to Willa’s door and knocked. Willa’s mother, a woman Aleah had only talked to a handful of times, answered the door. Aleah smiled awkwardly and asked if she might talk to Willa. Willa’s mother looked at Aleah holding the bike and a series of expressions from surprise to cautiousness scrolled across her face. She called for Willa and when the little girl appeared, her eyes instantly saw the bike and widened considerably. Speaking to Willa, Aleah explained about seeing her missing out on riding bikes with the other children and wondered if Willa would like a bike of her own? Willa whooped and jumped into the air clapping, saying that she would absolutely love to have the bike, but then stopped and looked up at her mother. Aleah tentatively looked to Willa’s mother as well, wondering if she had made a mistake by not asking first for permission from the woman to give Willa the bike. Willa’s mother looked at Aleah, then to Willa and back to Aleah. She broke the silence by saying to Willa, “what do you say to Aleah for giving you the bike?” Willa bounded forward and awkwardly wrapped her arms around both Aleah and the bike saying “thank you” repeatedly. Aleah handed the bike over to Willa who jumped on and started pedaling up and down the sidewalk. Aleah looked to Willa’s mom who offered her own verbal “thank you”. Then they talked about Aleah’s moving out and after several minutes, both wished each other luck before Aleah walked back to her car.

As Aleah drove away, she could see Willa in her review mirror. The girl’s cheers had drawn the attention of other neighboring children who gathered to watch Willa show off her new bike. Aleah could not stop her smile, one nearly as wide as Willa’s, from stretching across her face. She had expected the day to be a distressing one, however she had felt happiness at multiple times throughout the day. But upon further introspection, she decided the joy she felt was decidedly different each time. Receiving the money had been thrilling and she liked the feeling of confidence she had after leaving the spa. However, in comparison she liked even better the feeling that came from helping others, both directly and indirectly. It dawned on her that if “misery loves company”, then perhaps it would be just as appropriate to say, “kindness invites happiness”. That reminded Aleah of the “Happiness” list she had made earlier that morning and she was surprised to realize its shortcoming. Afterall, the two expenditures that had brought her the most joy, weren’t even on her list. It was a lesson to remember as she took her first steps into a new season of life.