What in the (Axel) F...is Going On With this Movie

Eddie Murphy Scores an A+ With His Return as the Wisecracking Det. Axel F

You know the old saying, "let a sleeping dog lie?" Well, that's how I felt when I heard about a new BHC movie. I'm thinking you already fucked up with the last film so why not just let the franchise' legacy rest with the first two films?!

Then I saw the new film and I LOVED IT!

I must apologize for my tardiness though. 

I was supposed to have this review done a few days ago but Hurricane Beryl's punk ass got in the way.

But here I am so let's get to the movie, shall we?!

Now, this movie hasn't been released on VHS or DVD just yet so I'm afraid I'm just going to have to stream it on my laptop. (Sighs)

Cues up the movie.

Oh, snap! They're starting out with "The Heat is On" by Glenn Frye.

I'm digging this movie already and I'm only 48 seconds into the film. They even brought back that piece of shit car Axel had in the first film.

I'm telling you all, what's old is new again.

They start off with a montage of Foley riding through the streets of Detroit.

Real nice touch here. Very reminscent of the first two films.

Foley arrives at a Red Wings game joining a fellow officer who's already there.

Foley's not there to watch the game though; He's on a stakeout.

Foley busts his fellow detective's balls for a minute before letting him know that the arena's about to be robbed.

Who in the hell would want to rob a hockey arena though?!

Ooooh, they're robbing the players' locker room.

Foley intervenes as only he can and a gunfight breaks out.

The gun sound effects are superb.

I bet this would sound so bad ass on my Dolby Pro-Logic receiver.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I know it's all about Atmos now. Go suck a dick and let me and my 1997 Pioneer receiver alone.

The two detectives are chasing down the bad guys in a Zamboni.

Now, they've commandeered a snow plow.

Only in Detroit, in the dead ass of Winter does something like this makes sense.

I see they brought back Paul Reiser as Jeffrey for this film as well.

Poor Paul. His hair's whiter then the screen I'm typing on.

Mannnnn, Mad About You was a very long time ago.

He's also Foley's boss too.

Come on now! This dude couldn't catch the clap as a porn star in 1980's San Fernando Valley in the heyday of the porn industry.

Foley and his partner are able to take down the bad guys in the end.

Foley's in Jeffrey's office which used to be Inspecter Todd's office.

They even still have his picture hanging up in the background.

I like them paying tribute to him.

Jeffrey tells Axel that he's announcing his retirement. Axel figures out that Jeffrey's retiring to protect him.

That's mighty damn thoughtful of him.

I'm liking this film even more by the second.

The two have a back to back where Jeffrey gives him one last piece of advice.

He tells him to talk to his daughter as we get a segue to her visiting a perp in a Beverly Hills Jail.

She's a cutie and she speaks Spanish too. Sí, mami, sí.

She's not a cop though.

She's something even worse; SHE'S A LAWYER!

She knows her stuff though. She can take a look at my briefs anytime.

Unfortunately, a group of hoods don't feel the same way about Jane as I do.

They completely terrorize this poor woman.

They crash into her car, smash out her driver's window and leave her car dangling out of a parking structure.

They tell her to drop the Enrique case.

Oh, Enrique's the young man she went to go see in jail and is now representing.

Here we see Billy Rosewood arrive to the scene to check up on Jane and to talk some sense into her but she's not budging.

She's a regular chip off the old block.

That familiar music is playing as we get a glimpse of Foley's apartment.

Now this place isn't the shithole he lived in for the first movie but it's only a couple of steps above it.

Damn, you would've thought the man would've had significant pay raises over the years after being 40 plus years in law enforcement.

Can they get the man in a condo at least?!

Billy calls Axel and lets him know his daughter's in way over her head but she's not the only one.

I have a feeling that so is Rosewood especially with that cool, haunting music they played after the phone call scene.

Foley's on his way to Cali as Rosewood's checking out a lead.

I was right on the money as Rosewood is introduced to two men with big ass guns. (Pause)

Foley's back in Beverly Hills.

There was a "woman" in the car with a license plate that said pre nup that looked rather mannish.

I mean no harm whatsoever but……

Lets just say her biceps were bigger then Ronnie Coleman's circa 2003.

The Beverly Hills montage was perfect because it shows what Beverly Hills is like in 2024 in comparison to 1984.

It's always been a fugazi kind of town but at least back then you knew those were actual women you were talking to.

Foley hasn't head from Billy since their last phone call so he decides to visit Billy's office in an Al Cowlings-like Bronco.

It looked like the one O.J. was in back in the day; Just a different color.

Foley arrives to Billy's office and notices he's not alone.

A couple of hoods have broken into Billy's office and are ransacking the place.

Foley plays along and is fantastic in this scene.

He claims to have been sent my the same man that sent them.

Unfortunately, a snag in his plan is revealed when they spot a picture of him and Billy on a fishing trip together.

He's able to subdue the crooks long enough to get the hell out of dodge.

A pesky meter lady is getting ready to tow his ride.

He sees the bad guys coming and steals the meter lady's vehicle but not before being pepper sprayed by her a few times.

He takes off with her hanging onto her "vehicle" as he's being chased down by the thugs from Rosewood's office.

They're playing The Pointer Sisters, "Neutron Dance" record in the background.

Another nice piece of nostalgia.

Foley's vehicle takes a tumble and he's apprehended by the lego cops.

Foley's right though. That police car he's being taken away in looks very Fisher-Priced.

Plus, and this is going to sound mad sexist but he got arrested by two dames who like video vixens from the late 2000's.

This is Beverly Hills in 2024 in a nutshell.

Foley's taken to Dt. Bobby Abbott played Joseph Gordon Levitt.

I said this in the preview; He's perfect for this movie and the time peroid.

Foley asks for Taggart who we come to find out is now Inspector Taggart.

At least they promoted someone competent this time.

Go ahead with your bad self, Taggart.

Foley has some choice words with Dt. Abbott.

Then, he breaks himself free from the handcuffs and asks to call his lawyer which ends of being his daughter who hangs up on him three times in a row before he's finally able to break through to her.

Foley finally gets his meeting with Inspector Taggart and receives a playful gut punch for old times sake as the two share a hug.

This is where we're introduced to Kevin Bacon's character, a Captain Cade Grant.

His character has the stench of an inside man helping the bad guys all over him already.

Foley also realizes this and tells his daughter the same thing as they're leaving the police station even though she doesn't want to hear it.

This whole scene shows the impact of all the years of being in law enforcement has affected Foley's family.

The two drive over to the impound facility where they find out that the place was broken into the other night.

They search the car Jane's client was driving the night the cop was killed.

Foley finds a fake ac vent compartment which stored a camera. 

The two come up with the idea of why the perps were trashing Billy's office.

They were looking for the SD card that the camera contained.

Foley has a hunch they're being followed and his hunch is spot on.

He finds a tracking device underneath Jane's car.

He removes it and places it on a school bus to snake out who's following them so they can follow them instead.

The plan works as they end up following the bad guys to a penthouse of a very upscale hotel with a nice swimming pool.

The father and daughter combo talk themselves into the penthouse were they spot the two men with Gates.

Kevin Bacon looks like he's had one too many martinis in this scene.

They know he's bad and he knows that they know he's bad.

Jane and Axel have a heart to heart about their relationship or lackthereof before she drops him off in front of his rental at a local hotel.

Isn't this the same hotel Foley pretended to be a journalist in town covering Michael Jackson?

They sure have went up on the price. 

It used to be 240 a night in 84' and now it's a staggering 940 dollars a night.

I don't think the King of Pop himself could afford this shit at the way things are going.

Inflation's a motherfucker.

Foley was too tired to do any impressions so he just asked for a room.

I mentioned Taggart earlier and it's great having him in this film.

He's playing his role perfectly as the cranky old man who has his woman on his back about taking his medication.

Foley and his daughter are busting each others balls while being followed by her ex and a van filled with mercenaries looking to take them out.

The ex-boyfriend spots this, intervenes during the shooting and saves both his ex-girl and her dad. 

They're back at the police station going over evidence when Foley learns that the cartel was behind the botched hit. 

It's also the same cartel Rosewood arrested but got released by Grant shortly thereafter.

Taggart calls Foley into his office. 

Foley tries convincing Taggart that Rosewood was right all along about Grant but Taggart's not buying it.

He throws Foley out of his office and suspends Abbott for good measure.

The trio is now on their own. 

They head back to Jane's office and go over what they know about the cartel being involved.

They find a house owned by the cartel through a front company.

Foley realizes the house next door to it is for sale.

They devise a plan to get access to it so he can sneak on over to the other side and he knows just the guy that can help them.

Enter Sergleeeeeeeeeeeee.

Bronson Pinchot reprises his role as a legendary character in thie film's franchise, Serge. 

You know, the former art gallery host turned-gun gallery host.

He had this nice-looking ride with the words PWR SRG written on his license plate which I thought was very creative.

Man, these monsterous & murderous drug-dealing mofos sure do have great taste in real estate because these are some nice ass mansions.

It must really feel good to be king. Well, a drug king-pin in this case.

Who says crime doesn't pay?!

Foley, his family and Serge are shown the house they've been wanting to get into.

Foley excuses his self and makes his way on over to the cartel's property.

Foley searches the house, takes a few pics but is caught on camera.

He's able to escape but Gates is notified that Foley was on the premises.

I have to say that Foley's daughter is a real bitch.

We get it already! Your father wasn't there but he's here now trying to save your stupid ass.

Abbott and Foley head to talk with Enrique's uncle.

They walk into some sort of strip/karaoke club. 

Here, you have fat guys with guns and even fatter women.

Then, you have the dude from Boogie Nights doing karaoke.

If this ain't a Beverly Hills strip club in 2024 then I don't know what is.

The dude from Boogie Nights I'm referring to is Luis Guzmán who plays Chanilo Valdemoro, the uncle of Enrique.

Chanilo is the flamboyant karaoke-singing drug kingpin (try saying all that three times fast) who helps the detectives with some critical information along with where they've stashed Rosewood.

He also warns them if they double cross him, they will be sleeping with the fishes.

Foley and Abbott are surrounded by cops as they're exiting the club at the behest of Gates who opens Abbott's trunk and finds drugs inside of it.

Gates orders them taken away as they're tased.

Gates has Foley handcuffed to a chair in the interrogation room as he's giving him the whole "we are a lot alike" spiel and Foley's not buying it.

Gates leaves the interrogation room as Foley breaks free from the handcuffs, gets on top of the desk and gains access to the air vent above.

Gates walks back in and gets on top of the chair thinking Foley's escaped as Foley comes from behind the door and pulls the chair from out under him.

The two female officers who arrested Foley earlier in the film call Taggart and tell him that Gates had Foley and Abbott arrested on drug charges.

We also get our first look at Maureen, Taggart's wife during the phone call.

You know, you don't get many Maureen's anymore. They've seen to have gone extinct like the dinosaurs.

She's pretty much what you expect from a chick named Maureen.

Taggart heads down to the station to see what's going on as Abbott and Foley look for a way out the police headquarters.

They find one on top of the roof. A helicopter

Being that Abbott was a helicopter pilot, Foley wants him to fly the damn thing so they can escape.

Abbott was looking mad nervous and for good reason.

Come to find out, he crashed the last helicopter he was in.

The dude was flying the helicopter like he was doing one of those GTA: San Andreas "learning how to fly" courses.

He finally lands or should I say crashes it into a private golf resort.

Jane goes to visit Taggart in his office and is kidnapped as she's leaving the station.

Foley and Abbott find Rosewood in a shipyard. 

Rosewood fakes like he's going to tell the bad guys where the sd card is as Foley and Abbott sneak up on them and lays them both out.

They steal a truck loaded with artwork containing drugs and escape the shipyard.

Axel calls Jane's phone but Gates answers instead. 

Gates gives them one hour to show up with the SD card or "else." 

Note to readers: Please read the "or else" line in a Stacy Keach font for desired effect.

I joked earlier about Kevin Bacon having one too many but it fits this character perfectly.

He's the quinessential, shaky cop/bad guy who knows he's in way over his head and enjoys snorting a line a two.

Foley, Rosewood and Abbott arrive in style crashing through a luxurious mansion heavily guarded by gun-toting and drug smuggling crooks.

Taggart's on his way and he looks pissed but the good kind of pissed though.

Plus, he's carrying around that same pump action shotgun he had early up in the franchise

Somebody's getting fucked up!

Dirty Rosewood's out of ammo as Taggart shows up just in time saving Rosewood's tail by blowing away one of the bad guys into smithereens.

Foley continues searching the mansion for his daughter.

I must say that these drug-smuggling, kingpin motherfuckers have great taste. 

I wonder who their decorator was.

I bet it was the same person that did Pablo Escobar's crib back in the day.

I bet Jane's glad her dad taught her that "how to escape from handcuffs trick."

Foley's daughter knocks out the guy who was supposed to be keeping guard on her.

Foley takes out the Dolph Lundgren look-alike with a few bullets.

Foley and Gates come head-to-head as both guys have their guns drawn on each other.

Gates puts his weapon down as he tries to lure Foley into a trap.

Janet takes out the guy sneaking up behind Axel.

Then Foley dives in front of a bullet to save his daughter.

Gates is looking to kill Jane when Abbott takes out Gates with a gruesome-looking head shot.

Outside, Taggart and Rosewood mend their friendship as they see the paramedics pushing Foley on a stretcher right in front of them.

Foley survives the attack and is on the mend from his wound.

He just doesn't like the hospital food but what hospital out there serves actual eatable food?!

I remember when my aunt was in rehabilitation back in the day and I had this good ass burger and fries.

Outside of that, all that shit's pretty much horrendous.

Foley sneaks out the hospital and heads down to the nearest diner for a burger and some fries. 

My man! I like how you think.

Jane comes looking for him and finds him at there.

The two have a convo in which Foley finally apologizes to her.

She accepts it as they both promise to make an effort to better their relationship.

A few days later, Taggart and Rosewood are staking out Foley at the hospital making sure he's staying there to get himself well.

This has to be the oldest crew to ever be on a stakeout.

The combined age has got to be at least 3,000.

Speaking of steak, Foley surprises them like old times and asks them to take him to get one.

They all say no at first but we all know Rosewood's gonna give in.

They all go out to have steaks and that's the end of the movie.

It's a helluva film. I would put it up there with the first two movies for sure.

You should all go see it; You will like it. 

"Trust me." (in an Axel Foley font)