What Exactly Happened: Part 5

Everything. Just disappear completely and start over somewhere entirely different. Somewhere he would never have to worry about these people finding him. Or about any of the dangers that he was running into. Somewhere that he would never need to remember. Somewhere that he wouldn't have to worry about dying or getting caught. Somewhere that he wouldn't have to worry about hurting anyone. Someplace so safe he would forget why he was even running away from home.

But that was impossible, of course. There was no such place. No safe, peaceful haven. There was no place where he would be free from the constant danger lurking everywhere he went. That's why he always ran. Because no matter where he went, no matter who he came across or who he worked for or what he did for them, he always ended up back in that same position: in trouble. Always stuck between fear and anger. Always terrified of what he had done and what he was capable of doing. Always afraid of losing his sanity, fearing that he would eventually succumb to the darkness and the voices, he could lose the only thing that gave him stability in his life. And most importantly, of failing again and again, of having no chance of success and ending up alone yet again, unable to do anything to change the inevitable result. And there was no way that he was going to put Sarah through the agony he was subjected to every single day. Not again. So he ran because that's what he did. And he was sure that she felt the same way.

He sighed loudly, bringing his attention back to the present and realising that the phone call was no longer ringing. Whoever had called him must have hung up after their initial greeting. He pressed the button, pressed the speakerphone button, and waited for whoever was speaking.

"Hello?"

He recognized that voice, he knew that voice from somewhere. Somewhere that he knew he shouldn't have known. Somewhere where he knew that he should don have remembered. That somewhere he should have forgotten.

"What is this, a party? I can't really believe that you're gonna show your face after all this time."

A smile grew onto his face as soon as his eyes fell upon the man who was speaking to him. A laugh bubbled out of his throat. He hadn't heard that voice in a very long time, but when he did, it sounded as familiar as a distant memory.

His mother had died a year ago in a car crash. He remembered seeing the news report. His eyes lingered a bit longer on the picture of her smiling brightly with his father beside her.

As soon as she had turned her back on him, as soon as she had walked out his front door, everything was lost to him. She was gone, forever. And now here he was - talking to someone else that she had abandoned. Someone that he had betrayed. Again. Who knew what was coming next? Would the next attack happen tonight? Tomorrow? When? How much longer could he hold on?

A sudden wave of dizziness swept over him and he leaned back heavily against the wall. The world started spinning and his stomach churned violently. He blinked hard to stop it, but that didn't seem to help. His hands clenched themselves into fists on either side of him. His breathing got ragged and short. The sound of his heartbeat pounding relentlessly inside of his ears drowned out all other sounds. Everything was loud and blurry. Distinct shapes swam around him and he felt like he was sinking, falling through endless waves of dark water. He wanted to scream. Wanted to cry out. But his mouth didn't seem to work anymore.

To be continued...