Two Mosquitos Talking

"Hey Jordy, how's it going? Have a good run today?"

"You know honestly Greg, I just can't ever seem to get it right. I go out, ready for whatever, just ready to get to business. I mean this morning Linda even made my favorite breakfast for Christ's sake-"

"Oh man, she hooked you up with the honeydew special?"

"Honeydew. Special."

"Well, then what the heck's your problem? Why do I feel like you're about to tell me how wrecked of a day you had?" Everyone knows Linda's honeydew special is class nutrition for the day, you couldn't just get your shit together and have a good one, what's up?"

"Yeah man I know, I mean Linda's the best...it has nothing to do with her or her cooking, its just-well you see I've kinda been struggling lately..." Jordy was afraid to say these next words out loud because he was sure Greg would go in on him for it. "It's just my needle, it hasn't really been working properly."

"Christ man that's terrible, whadya mean it hasn't been working properly? That's sissy shit you sound like a punk right now."

"Now look you're already pissin' me off, I'm not gonna tell you if -"

"Alright alright my bad, obviously you're pretty shaken up about the situation, so what's the problem then? Is ya needle gettin' stuck when you try to pull out? No motivation? Or is it worse?" Greg was concerned but he was also perplexed by his friend's disposition which made it seem like maybe the reason was more off-kilter than simply struggling to do his needle business; the quick in and out.

"Listen if I tell you the reason you have to promise that you won't make fun of me for it. I feel bad enough as it is having it be an issue in the first place, the last thing I need is you sitting here on your damn high horse making me feel all bad about the whole thing. And you're already pissin' me off, man. Really, I'll never talk to you again if-

"Okay! okay! I won't be an asshole I get it, just tell me what the deal is already, you're the one makin' it a thing anyways Jordy gee." Greg and Jordy had been best friends for ages and they basically shared everything with each other except their wives. If there was something Greg didn't know about Jordy or vice-versa-well, there was nothing they didn't know about each other and that was the point. Jordy began to explain his situation.

"Alright, so it all started this one day I was getting ready to go out and make my rounds and then all of the sudden I swear to you Greg, I saw the most beautiful woman I've ever laid my eyes on. She was just so perfect sitting there that I couldn't even fathom stickin' it in her. Like don't get me wrong man I'm head over heels about Linda, and I know that relations between humans and mosquitoes just don't work out... but man when I tell you my needle went soft in a heartbeat. Well, it just hasn't been the same ever since. That was days ago, and I've just been in this way where I can't stop thinking about her, or how she looked that day. I think she probably just came out of the shower or something because she was really wet for some reason and her hair stuck to her face and neck... I went limp. I just landed on the side of her lampshade watching her sitting there all wet and naked. "

Greg was looking at Jordy wide-eyed. "Ya Cuck! You're in love! You mean to tell me this is all because you fell for some human chick!?" Jordy was wincing. "Oh, Jordy you gotta snap out of it man! I mean you're a mosquito you don't just let yourself get all messed up about someone who'd do away with you in a heartbeat if they had the chance. I gotta say I'm not disappointed I'm just a little worried is all. I know you've always been more of the "plays to the beat of his own drum" kinda guy but Jordy, this.. this is just bizarre." Greg stammered.

"Yeah man I know, that's why I didn't wanna say anything. And don't tell Linda! It's strange yeah but I can't explain it, it's like I just lost the desire to be a menace right then and there. Something else took over... I would've given anything to just land on her, but knowing how it would vex the hell out of her to taste that sweet sweetness... I couldn't do it" Jordy sighed. "So yeah that's how it's been ever since I seen her, and I haven't been able to get it up since."

"Nope, absolutely not, forget about it Jordy we gotta snap you out of this. You're not a real mosquito if you can't even get your needle to work. Pull yourself together, get your needle out of your arse, and let's get you back up to speed yeah? I refuse to let you do this to yourself."

"I know but you gotta see her, just this once. I swear if you see her you'll know exactly what I'm talking about."

"One. time." Greg said bitterly, "then we're goin' huntin' like real mosquitos."

So Greg and Jordy took off on the same path he flew that day he saw the love of his life. Jordy was brimming with excitement. They arrived at her half-opened window, landing gently on its ledge.

BANG "Awe fuck babe!" Jenna's boyfriend's hand came to a momentous slap right atop Jordy and Greg.

"Gross!" Jenna said looking over at two mosquitoes that had been crushed to bits.

"I told you to put a screen on this thing Jen."

"Whatever just close it. Let's go we're gonna be late for brunch." The two hurried off to their plans, leaving behind Jordy and Greg