The Doll

Glass eyes shimmered in the sunlight where the old doll was displayed in the window of the antique shop, and Skyler couldn’t take their eyes off it. They had passed by on several occasions, always slowing to look at the doll as they passed. For as long as they could recall it had been there, painted porcelain lips smiling even on a rainy day. For just as long, they had always desperately wanted the doll, having often requested their parents buy it for them, promising that they would take extra care of this one particular doll, even more so than all of their other toys. No amount of pleads and promises, however, had gotten them the treasure they sought. Skyler couldn’t understand why their parents were so adverse to the cute doll. With his porcelain face, hands and feet with a soft body and an adorable brown cut of ‘hair’ atop his head and dressed in a blue and white ‘sailor’ uniform it was the sweetest doll they had ever come across.

Today, however, things had finally changed. With their car packed for college out of state, Skyler knew the last stop they had to make before leaving town was the antique shop and finally claiming the prize they had so long sought for.

“Not under your roof?” They muttered the constantly repeated phrase under their breath as they headed inside, almost shaking in anticipation as they marched toward the register and the young woman sat behind it. “Well now it’ll be under my roof..”

With a deep breath they spoke up to gain the attention of the attendant, “Pardon me.”

“Hm?” The young woman looked up, blinking from her magazine. “Oh hey! Didn’t hear you come in. Sorry, that bell on the door just goes in one ear and out the other these days. How can I help you?”

“Oh, yeah.” They nodded in understanding, “Everybody tends to block out sounds that become familiar. I was hoping to buy that doll in the window?”

“You seriously want that old thing?” She stood up, closing the magazine as she headed over to the display to pick it up and bring it back to the register. “Pretty sure this thing is older than both of us combined, nobody’s ever shown interest before.”

“Seriously?” Skyler blinked, “He’s the cutest little thing I’ve ever seen. Does he have a name or anything?”

“Not as far as I know. It’s just always been in the shop somewhere.” She lay it on the register as she went to pull down a box and some packing material to keep it from jostling around too much. “You really think it’s cute? I always thought it was kind of creepy. That’s why I put him in the window in front of that screen, so I wouldn’t have to look at him.”

“I guess I’m the weird one as usual then.” Skyler watched as the doll was carefully packed and closed into the box, trying not to betray how much faster their heart had begun beating once the doll came back into view. “How much then?”

“Getting this thing outta here is priceless to me. For you, however, that’s gonna be $45.” She grinned as she slid the white box over to them. “Cash or card?”

“Ah, you actually take cards? I didn’t expect that, so I came with cash.” They pulled their wallet out, sorting through and handing it over. “Thanks! Take care, miss.”

“You too.” She tucked the payment away into the register, sitting down to return to her magazine as they carefully lifted the box and headed outside to make their way into the first steps toward their own life.

After arriving, Skyler began unpacking first by placing the doll on their bed. “I think I’ll call you Eden.” they nodded to themselves in approval. “It’s perfect. Alright, Eden, you relax there while I get everything else unpacked and hopefully before long we’ll be meeting our roommate!”

The wait would hardly be even 30 minutes long before the roommate entered the communal area between the two small bedrooms, Skyler quickly poking their head out of their room as they heard the door. “Hey! Welcome, it’s nice to meet you! I’m Skyler!”

“Oh hey.” They looked over, “I’m Ariel. Guessing the other room’s mine then. Once we unpack we can get to know each other a bit?”

“Yeah, sounds good! See you soon, Ariel. Just call if you need anything!” They ducked back into their room to continue their own unpacking, unable to keep the grin from their face.

By the evening, the two had ordered a pizza and had set up the television in the main sitting room. Collecting Eden into their arms alongside their blanket, Skyler made their way out to join Ariel.

“Well you’re already comfy.” Ariel grinned over from flipping through the channels. “Ah, a doll, cute!”

“Ha!” Skyler dropped down beside them on the sofa, “I knew it! I call him Eden. He’s my prize for finally getting out of the house and on my own.”

“Looks like we’ve got ourselves an adorable mascot.” Ariel asked permission before gently taking Eden from Skyler, looking the doll over. “Do you need him in your room or can he totally sit in the living room?”

“He can definitely sit in the living room so you can enjoy his company too~”

Settling the doll in between them, the two would bring in the pizza and begin a movie marathon while comparing school schedules, lives and plans. By the time they fell asleep right where they were in the living room with the TV still running and lights still on, the two were affectionately calling one another by shortened nicknames.

Within the first month, Eden had everything even a living child would be jealous of. The two had gone all in buying for him- a small armchair of his own for the living room, a high chair for if they were eating at the small kitchen table, a bed in each of his caretakers rooms, toys, and an extensive wardrobe changed daily. He always had his own small portion of food and drink set aside that the two would later have as a snack while laughing that Eden had ‘eaten and enjoyed’ or ‘totally hated’ what he had been ‘given’.

Despite having been called odd by a handful of classmates, Sky and Ari were enjoying their time together and their ‘child’, having even begun talking about renting together off campus in a place that allowed pets so that they could care for something truly living together. It wasn’t until the beginning of December when they began to notice a few things being a bit ‘off’. With Christmas on the horizon, the two had begun playfully discussing how sad Eden would be without both of them there. Eventually they had come to the plan that Eden would go home with Ari and return after with them, so that he wouldn’t be sad and alone over the vacation. However, shortly after this decision, the two would have another conversation over Eden’s ‘movements’.

“I noticed Eden’s in his Christmas tux this morning!” Ari chirped as they made their way over into the kitchen to pour a bowl of cereal. “Did he tell you he was super excited and wanted to try it on?”

“He was wearing it when I got up this morning.” Sky blinked, turning from having been cooking. “You want pancakes instead of cereal? I’m cooking.”

“Is this the game we’re playing now?” Ari grinned as they sat down. “Yes please! Do we still have those red and green sprinkles from making the sugar cookies? If so I’d like them in mine!”

“We do, so not a problem!” Sky nodded, pulling them out to add them to the batter. “And what game do you mean?”

“Where we say Eden dressed himself when we’re trying to be sneaky.” they stretched their arms across the table to loosen up from sleeping.

“...You think I went into your room, got his special tux from your closet and dressed him in it without you knowing?” Sky turned to look at Ari while the pancakes cooked.

“So it is the new game!” Ari laughed, “You’re a ninja, Sky. I didn’t even hear you in there! It’s totally not gonna be as easy for me, you’re gonna catch me in the act, but I’ll try!”

Although they laughed along with, agreeing that they’d been ‘caught’ starting a new game, Sky couldn’t help but feel a bit uneasy, silently hoping to themselves that Ari was teasing them and that they had, in fact, changed the doll’s clothes overnight.

Silent questioning continued throughout December right up until Ari left with Eden. With not even a hint of insincerity or a giggle that they had been teasing them for nearly the entire month as Sky had brought themselves to believe, they had begun to wonder how long the ‘game’ would go before Ari gave it up. With this in mind as they hugged goodbye for the winter vacation, Skyler decided that they would have a talk about it with Ariel when they all settled back down after the new year.

Throughout the start of the holiday Ari would have continued to send Sky ‘updates’ on what Eden was wearing and eating, and how good a time he was having. About midway through this tapered off, Skyler determined to themselves that it was simply because Ariel had gotten into having such a good time with their family that they didn’t have the time to snap frequent updates. They would, however, send one of themselves in a New Years celebration hat at 12:01, though Eden would be missing entirely from the image when typically he would have at least been posed in the background somewhere. Deciding it was best not to ask for an update with their own ideas of why the doll may not be present, Sky instead sent a replied image of themself in a similar fashion while complimenting Ari’s dress and silently beginning the countdown to return of the school session where they would finally break their silence.

Much to their surprise Ariel would already be in the dorm when Sky arrived, sitting in the living room with Eden tucked into his own personal chair.

“Hey--” they had begun to call out, but were cut off by Ariel standing and turning in such a fluid but jumpy manner as they faced them and shouted out.

“Why didn’t you tell me Eden changing his own clothes wasn’t a game!?” Ari demanded, standing stiffly to try and hide the shaking that had begun to take over their body.

“I…” Skyler shook their head several times, trying to gather their thoughts after having expected to have to approach the subject gently. “I didn’t think you would believe me, I didn’t want to cause a fight, especially not so close to vacation..!”

“Yeah I probably wouldn’t have!” They raised their voice in irritation, “But you could have tried a little harder instead of letting me take home a… a … a…!”

“Ari…” Sky took a step forward, then back again as Ariel grabbed a pillow from the couch and threw it at them.

“No you just stay back, I’m not done shouting at you!” They snatched a second pillow, throwing it as well. “You could have said a bit more! You could have sent me a text saying it was a joke! Instead of letting me find out the hard way you brought a… a... possessed... doll to where we were living and then let me take it home!”

Allowing the pillow to bounce off them and hit the floor alongside the first, Skyler stood listening in a stunned silence, repeatedly wishing for the cries to come to an end and for their friend to allow them to approach and provide comfort. However, it would continue for a further 20 minutes before Ariel finally dropped to the floor, covering their face in an attempt to hide the tears with a final “Why didn’t you tell me?”

With no more shouts to keep distance, Sky quickly rushed forward, kneeling down and putting their arms around Ari, relieved when they didn’t pull back. “Please forgive me… I thought… I hoped… You may have been teasing me, that you were just playing a joke… I’m so, so sorry… If it’ll make you feel better I’ll…”

The thought crossing their mind brought a lump to Skyler’s throat, though for the sake of not losing their friend, they forced it into words anyway. “I’ll take him and sell him, I’ll get rid of him, I’ll make sure you’re safe and happy!”

Silence would hang in the air for several moments before Ariel would reply as they stood and pulled themselves from Skyler’s arms. “...Tomorrow.”

With that they retreated into their bedroom, closing the door for the first time since the two had moved in.

Fighting the anguish building in their chest, Sky stood as well, carefully picking up Eden and going to bring the doll with them into their bedroom to spend one final night saying goodbye to their previous dream and instill within themselves that they were giving up that dream in favor of a much brighter reality.

Morning would arrive whether or not Skyler was ready, their alarm dragging them from their dreams and into the waking world. It had been a dream of something no longer meant to be- a cozy cottage, themselves, Ariel, and Eden taking care of a garden, small animals and biking into town when they needed something they couldn’t make for themselves. Looking down at Eden hugged tightly in their arms still, Sky gave them a tender farewell kiss on the head before dressing him back in his original sailor outfit and setting him down on the bed. As they desperately wished they could turn back time and change things to achieve that dream, Sky instead trudged forward out into the kitchen and began to make a breakfast of French toast.

For the first time, hearing Ari exiting their room a short time later brought a pained knot to their stomach when for so long it had been nothing but flutters of excitement. Reminding themselves that this ache would seem small as the future enveloped them with time, Sky spoke up. “G’morning. I’m making French toast, you want some coffee with--”

Once more they would be cut off by Ariel’s actions as they rushed over, hugging onto them tightly from behind and pressing their face possibly more roughly than intended in between Sky’s shoulder blades. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry I shouted at you, please don’t hate me! I was just scared!”

As their voice began to rise with emotion once more, Sky did their best to turn and pull Ari into their arms. “Of course I don’t hate you!”

Clutching to one another tightly they rocked on the spot in an attempt to provide comfort to one another, Skyler continuing to speak as quickly as they could. “It’s understandable that you were scared! If Eden really can move on its own then… Then I… I’m so sorry that I…”

Still, Sky felt such a deep attachment to the doll, and they couldn’t bring themselves to apologize, or to call it anything that may imply filth or incorrectness. It was hard enough to part with it, and impossible to degrade the memory of it with words that they didn’t feel even if they thought it may comfort the other.

“You didn’t do anything on purpose, it’s not your fault.” Ari tightened their grip on Skyler’s shirt. “I know… I know what I said but…” they shifted to look up to Sky’s face. “I take it back… I don’t want to get rid of Eden if you’re not scared of him.”

“I…” Sky felt hesitant, unsure of how to respond. As much as they wanted to keep Eden, they now worried that Ariel was just saying as much to keep from losing their friendship. How could they even begin to bring up the subject without potentially causing another upset when things seemed to finally be calming down?

“I love you.” A soft voice whispered from behind them in the dining area.

Hearts pounding in their chests, both Ariel and Skyler threw themselves into a turn toward the sound, neither able to summon words as they found Eden tucked into his high chair rather than where he had been left in Sky’s bed.

“It’s okay. I love you. I’m sorry.” The voice repeated, a tone of sad resignation almost echoing through the room.

Both struggled to find words as silence stretched and no further sound emanated from the doll. Even as the scent of the breakfast burning filled their noses, neither spoke. In their shock, they simply fell back into routine. Burned breakfast on three plates, three glasses of milk, sat at the table with their eyes locked on their meals.

Once they had eaten, Ariel slowly stood. Normally they would have immediately begun to clear and wash the dishes, but this time they gently lifted Eden from the high chair, finally locking eyes and Skyler and whispering. “Please… Please forget what I said, let’s keep him. I didn’t mean it.”

Seeing the sorrowful tears and regret of their words building in Ari’s eyes, Sky jumped from their seat, quickly embracing them once more. “Of course we will, of course we’ll keep him! This… Just means he’s special, right?”

“Very special!” Ariel nodded fervently, pressing into the hug. “We’re… A family… Right, Sky?”

“Yes, we are, we are a family!” Skyler pressed their face down into Ariel’s hair, unable to tell if the shaking was theirs alone or belonging to both of them. “I love you Ari, I love you so much!”

“I love you too!” The two reached up, wiping at each other’s tears. After several more minutes clinging to one another, the two would move to clean up together, setting Eden on the counter as they leaned heavily to one another’s side working together.

As the voice whispered out another time, the two began to smile again, the fear that they had been feeling evaporating into expectation for the future.

“I love you.”