The Board

It's the day that I retire today. I've got mixed feelings about it. I've enjoyed my work even though it's just cleaning up, mopping and emptying the bins on the Neo Natal ward. But the nurses are grateful at least and some of the parents too.

I'll miss coming in every day. You see all walks of life in a hospital, you know. All sorts! Especially on the Neo Natal because it's about babies, isn't it? And everyone has babies, don't they? All backgrounds, all colours, all races, all ages- except geriatrics! Now, that would be a miracle.

Talking of miracles, that's what they are, you know, some of these babies. Little miracles. It's not all happy endings though. Some of them don't make it and it's horrible when you go in to clear the bins and there's an empty incubator or cot, or a new name tag on one that you'd only seen the other day. Heart-breaking. I don't know how those nurses do it.

I've seen many come and go. Sometimes, I'll leave that day and have a little cry. I've seen the mums and the dads, see, and sometimes, the grans and grandads too, little brothers and sisters. You get the picture. Then, you're that little bit more aware of how that little baby fits in to all of that and then it makes you even more aware of the cost of losing them. Sad. It's making me choke up now.

But it's not all sad. Most of them leave and go on to live normal lives. Some of them go beyond even that. And it's great if their stories get featured on the board.

The best part about working here is the board. I'm going to miss this. Let me tell you about it.

In the corridor, there's this great big board, like you had at school for displays. You know the sort of thing, with plastic over the top. I have to rub it down once a week, keep it smudge free. Liz on Reception changes the display sometimes. They're all photos and stories of other babies who've stayed here, the little ones born too soon, the premmies. I check every week to see if there's any new ones or if I recognise any of them.

This week, my last week, there was a new one. There was a picture of this fine-looking lad, I reckon about 16,17 maybe? I thought, Oo, I wonder if this is one I can remember and so, I stopped to check it over while I was there. I can't be too long though because there's so much to do but I thought I'll have a little read of this. I like to look at the pictures first before I read the blurb. And there's a couple on this one. The ones with the photos are always the best.

This one's got three. The first one at the bottom, is a picture of this lad with his mum. I had a good look at it and I remember her! Always well turned out, she was and always cheerful. She doesn't look like she's aged much really. Same smiley face. That's not to say that she wasn't worried - you're bound to be, aren't you? But I remember saying to her one day,"Me and Barbara were just saying about how nice you always look when you come in," and her face lit up. I wasn't trying to be nice. She did always look good. Made an effort, you know? Some of the women that you have in here, well, you can see that they're finding it hard. But her? She always looked like she was keeping it together.

She was in all day every day, mind, and it must have taken its toll, because you're not going to sleep well worrying about your little one, are you? Taken away from you as soon as he's born and put in an incubator? Then you get sent home and have to wonder how he's doing when you're away from him? Trusting him to others and hoping for the best? It can't be easy, that. Bet you wouldn't sleep well. I know I wouldn't.

I suppose you can put on a brave face that doesn't always reflect how you're feeling inside. I never asked her anything in depth. It's not that easy to really. You feel like you're prying. It's not my place.

She looks ever so proud with her boy in this photo. Ever so proud.

Anyway, the second photo is of him, the boy, he's proud as punch too, him and his dad. It looked like it was taken at a finish line because they're both on bikes and they've both got medals around their neck. Look a little flush.

Turns out this lad was here in the Neo Natal for 10 weeks, back in 2007. Cor, those years have gone quickly! He was born at 3lbs 7oz, just a little scrap. But some of them are even smaller than that! The third picture is of him as a baby, Day 1, in these goggles. They give them those if they're a bit yellow, something to do with the liver and billy-something or other but I'm not sure. You pick up bits and pieces of knowledge when you're here but I'm no expert!

Anyway, the bike picture of him and his dad was taken after he'd completed a triathlon and the fundraising was for the Neo Natal Unit here! Well, fancy that! Turns out they raised almost 2500 pounds too! What an achievement! And according to this, he wants to do Medicine at university so that he can give back to help other babies just like him.

Aah, what a lovely story! Oo, I'm welling up! Silly old sod. But it's so nice to read stories like this. Something optimistic for a change. I'll have to tell Barb when I see her, see if she can remember them too. Ah, that's just lovely, that is!

You know, I'm going to miss this place, I am, but more than anything, I'm going to miss that board. I'll have to get my feelgood fix from The Repair Shop instead! Or Long Lost Family.

Oh well. Better wrap up here now and get on to the next job. See you, babies.

This was written for Hannah Moore's unofficial challenge which you can read about here: