Hood Ornaments

At three am, Tori woke up screaming. Ladee scrambled out of the bed and crawled under it grabbing a baseball bat. She looked around, but there was no one there. No one but Tori, who was shaking and sobbing uncontrollably. Ladee knelt by her side and went to rub her back. When she did, Tori flinched and began to sob harder. Ladee got up and headed to the door.

“Ladee, no, no. no. Don’t get him. I am fine. It was just a nightmare.” She said as she steadied her breathing and wiped the tears from her face.”

“Third one in two nights.” Ladee said as she propped the baseball bat between her bed and the bureau.

“That’s a better place for it.” Tori said without really looking up. That stunned Ladee for a minute.

“What?!”

Tori let out a tiny chuckle, “That bat ain’t doin either of us any good under your bed. I woulda been killed, and they woulda just drug you out by your feet and finished the job.”

Ladee frowned at her, “Look bein woken up at three am by blood curdling screams only thing I could remember was the bat under the bed. My bad! Now are you gonna tell me what the hell this is all about or am I gonna have to tell Michael?”

Tori sighed deeply and told Ladee about the rapes. Ladee wiped tears from her own eyes as well as from Tori’s.

“And you haven’t told Michael?”

Tori shook her head no, “I’m not ready yet.”

“Well what if you wake up screaming like that with him?”

Tori frowned, “That won’t happen.”

She made up her mind to never tell another soul about the rape and she would never breathe a word about the revenge. She was worried how much Ladee would tell. She often wondered if her and Michael had some sort of weird telekinesis thing going on, or if they met somewhere on campus to discuss Tori’s mood. There were times this worked to her advantage. Especially when she wanted to be alone, Michael seemed to conveniently stay away.

Of course because she was so sluggish, she didn’t have time to stop and get coffee before class let alone breakfast. She tried to creep in the back of the auditorium, but the door wasn’t cooperating. As it banged shut, the professor just gave Tori an acknowledging nod and kept on lecturing. She was thankful for that. And although she was initially dreading seeing him, the fact that she noticed Michael had a Starbucks and a breakfast sandwich for her made her smile. She scooted down the row to sit next to him, pulled a notebook out of her bag and immediately started to take notes. Michael half unwrapped her sandwich and positioned it on the tiny desk for her. Then he grabbed her notebook and began scribbling in it. Tori sighed, but wondered what he was writing about. She was going to have to have a long talk with Ladee. She knew her and Michael went way back, but now she was just intruding in her privacy. As she took a large bite of her sandwich, he gave her back her notebook. She scanned over his handwriting, and it appeared to be class notes. She turned and looked at him, but Michael’s gaze went back to the professor. He continued to take notes, so Tori did the same. After class, things resumed as normal. Michael went to class, and Tori went to the studio to work. She was hoping painting, sketching, even sculpting would calm her anxiety. Although, nothing out of the ordinary happened between her and Michael that morning, she still had a nagging feeling. The feeling of waiting for the other shoe to drop. She had to tell him, before Ladee did, but how? How was she possibly going to bring this up? Tori did know one thing. She meant what she said to Ladee. Michael was not going to see nor hear her wake up screaming. Even if that meant she was going to stop sleeping with him.

That was going to be hard to do.

That feeling.

Butterflies and goosebumps.

Exhilarating.

But she needed to distance herself from it and Michael. What better way to do so than to start a new project.

While the first coat of paint drying, Tori would typically start another project. But she was famished so she decided to take a walk to get herself some lunch. It was still really cold out, but she wanted to fill her lungs with fresh winter air. It would jump start her senses. She found a little Spanish restaurant, ordered herself a vegetable enchilada, and took a seat at a back table facing the door. The bells on the door were sort of annoying, like the corner store back home. With that memory she softly smiled. Then she thought of Trudy, Dell, Malik, and for a brief instant even Tone. But soon, the horrible memories came flooding back, literally. The tears effortlessly fell down Tori’s face, and she quickly patted them away with the side of her finger and took a deep breath. She was going to get through this. It was just a few nightmares. Maybe she should go to student health services and speak to a counselor. But she didn’t want to relive the rape. The only reason she told Ladee was because she had no choice. Waking up her dorm mate by screaming from nightmares in the middle of the night pretty much obligated her to disclose what happened. Otherwise she wouldn’t have told a soul. As much as she adored Michael, she needed to be home. She needed her family who would understand her pain and comfort her. That fact made her wrap up her enchilada and take it back to the studio with her. She had to finish something, but it wasn’t going to be food.