Distractions of Anorexia

She looked down at the lettuce forlornly. Food… She didn’t understand why it was a necessary evil. She just wished so desperately that she could live off of air and not have to consume anything. The thought of being fat was the worst. She fidgeted in her seat, looking around the room. Her thumb and index finger circled her wrist. It was a habit. Everything was a series of events. Going to a party meant lots of people. People meant lots of food. The sight of food was overwhelming. She always felt worried about how food was cooked. Butter and grease and calories, it all made her uncomfortable. Food meant discomfort. The smell of food made her stomach anxious. It always seemed like people around her were constantly trying to get her to eat more. A random woman walked by and casually said, “You need a cheeseburger honey, that salad ain’t gonna cut it.”

She cringed from the careless comment. Case in point was proven here more than ever! Sadly, she’d heard similar cheeseburger comments for most of her life. This was nothing new. She pushed the salad bowl away from her. Getting up from her chair, she headed to the bathroom for a mental retreat. As she walked, she didn’t like the way her legs jiggled. Why on earth did she think wearing a dress was a good idea? She felt like the ugliest girl at the whole party. Her face crumpled in discomfort. She made it to the bathroom. The music from the party now slightly muffled. She opened a stall door and sat down on the toilet, taking a deep breath. She wanted to be home. Tears started running down her cheeks and she started shaking slightly. It was cold in the bathroom. She was the quiet crying type of person though.

~ ~ ~

He looked over and saw an incredibly beautiful woman. She was ravishing in every way imaginable. He took a gulp of his drink and glanced back at her. He could tell that she was uncomfortable for some reason. What was she thinking about? Had she had a bad day? She seemed like the pensive type of person. He took two more swallows of beer and felt a slight buzz. It was a great night and he felt happy and relaxed. He looked over again at the girl across the room, his eyes like a magnet. She was eating. Another woman walked by and said something to her. A few minutes later he saw her get up and walk toward the bathroom. Wow, she sure has a beautiful stride. Her body was stunning. He just wanted her to be happy though even though he’d never met her before. She seemed like she was not having a fun time at the party. He finished his drink and got up from his seat, walking toward the bathrooms.

~ ~ ~

She was just coming out of the bathroom and she glanced up and saw him. Her eyeliner had smudged a bit but he thought that was kind of cute. The music changed to a different song. He thought to himself that he liked the song, especially because he was right in front of her. He felt confident. She felt was ready to leave the party as fast as possible. He momentarily planted himself in front of her, asking, “Hi, I was wondering if you wanna dance with me?”

She blinked, with a flat expression, and responded by saying, “I’m not feeling great and I’m about to leave.”

“Can I walk you outside then?”

“I’m okay. Thanks.”

“Okay, well have a good night then. My name’s Craig.”

She was overwhelmed by the food smells still and wanted to be home. She was so distracted by her thoughts that she forgot to introduce herself and just replied by saying, “Good to meet you, Craig… good night.”

He nodded and shook her hand which was still very cold. “Your name?”

“Oh, sorry,” she shook her head. “Stacy.” She started walking toward the exit. “I really gotta get out of here. Good night.”

He watched her walk away, feeling rather rejected momentarily. Looking over at the place where she’d been eating her salad, he saw that she’d left her cell phone on the table by the mostly full salad bowl. He walked over to grab the cell phone quickly. She was gone though. Walking out of the building where the party music was still playing, she was no where in sight outside. He looked down at the cell phone in his hand.