they hate me

In the cozy little town of Whimsyville, there was a peculiar tradition that no one could quite explain: the annual Haters' Parade. Every year, on the first Saturday of June, the townsfolk would gather to celebrate their grudges, annoyances, and petty dislikes with an oddly festive spirit.

The idea of the Haters' Parade had started as a joke years ago when old Mrs. Henderson, known for her sharp tongue and sharper opinions, declared she hated sunshine. The entire town laughed, and someone suggested they should all just have a parade to air their grievances. Much to everyone's surprise, it caught on, and thus, the tradition began.

This year's parade was no different. Banners hung across Main Street with slogans like "Down with Mondays!" and "Who Needs Kale?" The smell of cotton candy mixed with the less pleasant aroma of brussels sprouts being hurled from the "Down with Green Veggies" float.

The parade was led by Tom, the barber, who harbored a deep resentment for unruly haircuts. His float featured mannequins with the worst hairdos imaginable, all topped with a sign that read, "Bad Hair Days Unite!" Next came Sarah, the baker, whose dislike for raisins in cookies was well known. Her float was a giant cookie with a big red "X" through it, and she handed out chocolate chip cookies to delighted children along the route.

Martha, the librarian, had a float dedicated to her disdain for dog-eared book pages. She wore a hat shaped like an open book with perfectly crisp pages, glaring playfully at anyone who dared to bend a corner. The local high school band followed, playing off-key on purpose, symbolizing their dislike for perfectionism.

Even the mayor got involved, riding on a float that was a giant calendar, proclaiming his hatred for deadlines. His slogan, "Procrastinators of the World, Relax!" drew cheers from the crowd.

The Haters' Parade wasn't just about complaining, though. It was a chance for the townsfolk to come together, laugh at themselves, and bond over their shared annoyances. It was a day when people felt free to express their quirks without judgment, knowing everyone else had their own set of pet peeves.

As the parade wound down, everyone gathered in the town square for the grand finale: the Great Roast. This year, it was Mrs. Henderson herself being roasted. She took the stage, surrounded by her neighbors, and laughed heartily as they good-naturedly teased her about her dislike for sunshine, among other things.

By the time the sun set on Whimsyville, the air was filled with laughter and a sense of camaraderie. The Haters' Parade had once again turned their gripes into giggles and brought the town closer together. And as they all headed home, they couldn't help but feel a little lighter, having let go of their grumbles, at least until next year's parade.