Never far from mind and heart

You must hate me.

No, not at all. Quite the opposite.

How could you not? I wronged you.

You did what you thought you had to do. I understand.

Finally, I can talk to you online...

It's better than by email. Although it's been good to get caught-up.

My mother always caused trouble for my wife, because she wasn’t you.

That must have been rough.

I thought that, after her death, my wife and I would grow closer.

It is your time to be happy, together.

But that hasn't happened.

Okay.

I cannot forget you.

I cannot forget you!

I’m so sor...

It’s okay. You didn't have a choice.

Our talking - I don’t want to disturb my wife, and give her stress.

She’s already been through so much. I hope you grow closer.

She said: if it will help me heal, it is okay to talk with you again.

That's good.

After all, you were meant to be my wife - a pastor's wife.

Unfortunately, life doesn't always turn out the way we plan...

I still stay at my mother’s place, half-the-week.

You haven’t been able to sell her house?

I got used to it, there, when I looked after her. It keeps me out of trouble.

You don’t miss your wife, when, half the week, you are not with her?

I’m not sociable, like I used to be...

Me neither. I’ve had too many bad things happen to me. I like being alone.

We have that in common, too.

Yes.

Remember the...?

The...?

...in the van... when I helped you?

When I got in the police van - after I was robbed, by a soldier, at gunpoint?

Yes.

You came with me, when I asked you to... I was so scared.

It brought us closer.

Yes. All the military, carrying machine guns.

When will I see you again?

I don't... know... Maybe in the afterlife? That’s probably best.

No, I can’t wai–

I want to see you, too, but...

...what?

I can only see you, if you are ever single. Otherwise, it would be too hard.

I have a visa now, to come to the U.S., for my work.

Oh, wow!

I can see you, sometime, now.

It's been thirty years.

Thirty-two.

Yes.

We are getting old! But I never forgot you.

I never forgot you! ... but I don't think we should see each other...

Why?

Because you are married... It would be too much.

Please?

Your wife has to be okay with this. Otherwise...

Mmm.

I really want to see you, but we can't. It's not fair to her.

You remember the last time we saw each other?

I remember holding your hand, all the way to the airport.

Yes.

I can still picture your fingers, touching mine.

My memory is fuzzy. I only remember a few things.

Me, too - but I remember them, intensely, like it was yesterday.

I’ve been looking for you, for years.

I’ve been looking for you, too.

I’m glad we finally -

- found each other again. Me, too. Online does have its limitations, though.

I will print the photo of you that you emailed me - to see you, every day.

Haha! You can see my photo, online, anytime!

I will hide it in my desk drawer.

Haha, you are old!

I am not savvy with the computer.

I still have all your letters.

I have yours, too.

And the photos of us?

Yes.

If only you hadn't had to marry someone else.

Yes, but -

I know. They gave you no choice.

I had to graduate -

I remember, you told me: in order to graduate, you had to be married.

Otherwise, they would not give me my degree. A single pastor is illegal.

Why didn't they want a single minister leading a church congregation?

To avoid scandal.

So, if you were already married, you couldn't become "involved?"

Yes.

Ah!

Jobs were nearly-impossible to come by. I'd already spent six years.

You had to finish university, in order to feed yourself.

Yes.

I don't blame you. I would have done the same... probably.

There was not enough time to tell you and for you to come to me.

I remember. Overseas mail took at least a month to arrive.

I tried to argue with the administration, to give me more time.

I got your letter two weeks before you were to be married...

I'm sorry.

... saying you'd found a fellow student, who'd agreed to marry you.

There wasn't enough time to contact you, before I had to be married.

I know - but I was devastated.

She agreed to my offer. I'd run out of time, for you.

I remember, you said that, in your letter -

I petitioned the administration for an exemption to their rule.

So you could marry me?

But they refused. They wouldn't even give me more time.

We couldn't even call each other, back then... before cellphones.

I remember you called my college a few times.

The connection was so scratchy! We could hardly understand each other.

And I had no privacy. The secretaries were all gathered, listening.

It was so frustrating! I wanted to be with you, so badly!

I couldn't call you. It would have cost more than my tuition.

I know.

Your address kept changing. You moved so many times!

I was young... lost without you, trying to figure out... how to fill up time.

I was buried in my studies.

And how would I have arranged to travel, to Africa - pre-internet?!?

Mmmm.

Travel agents, in a small town, gossip. Airfare to Africa was so expensive!

Mmmm.

And I was still dependent on my parents.

A poor student, like me.

My family wouldn't have understood. They hadn't even met you!

Would you have come - if you could have - to marry me?

Of course! Of course.

We were victims of circumstance.

Yes.

Like a Shakespearean tragedy.

It wasn't our fault, for sure. Things like that happen, I guess.

Romeo & Juliette!

I do wonder what our life would have been like, though, together.

Me, too.

But... we've been on different paths, now, for so long...

Yet the sun shines just as brightly, now, as it did then!

True -

Especially in your eyes! We still have time.

Maybe -

But what?

This is too difficult. I am too full of emotions, for you.

I don't want to hurt you.

We should say goodbye...

Hmmm.

If I ever see you again, I would never be able to leave you.

We are grown now, to do what we want. No one can tell us what to do!

But our conscience must!

I see.

If you are ever single, in the future, I’ll be here.

Will you be single?

With two failed marriages, I am not looking for anyone else.

You're life's been difficult. 4 children, alone!

Yes, but, now that I know that you're still alive, I will be thinking of you!

I have three more years left, until my retirement.

I never had a career. My kids are still not all grown... Different worlds.

Not different worlds! Same world, different continents…

...and different responsibilities.

The world is smaller now.

But you're busy with your work - and you're married!

Yes, I'm busy - and hardly have time to think - but I still think of you.

And I think of you. But we can't - this is too much!

You are my hope!

And you are mine! But... if I see you again, I will want to hug you.

What is wrong with a little hug?

It can lead to other things...

I love you.

I love you, too.

We will meet again.

I send you all my love.

May God keep us safe.

... We should go.

Until next time.

Next time.

Be resilient. Stay strong, my love!

I will.

See you soon!

Please... Take care of yourself!

I will.