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Last week I was in my car on the way home from work when I got a call from a childhood friend. It had been a minute since the two of us last spoke so I was surprised to be getting a call from him. When I picked up the phone he gave me some devastating news, a friend of ours who we had known since the first grade passed away. What made it worse was he died by suicide. All I could think about and ask myself was how could this good kid who was always smiling and vibrant could’ve taken his own life? Of course that’s a question many of us ask ourselves when such a tragedy happens.
Suicide is a common conflict and it shouldn’t be. Not to sound like a cliche, but it seems like it’s been on the rise over the course of the past decade and we as a people need to do better at stopping it. When taking this much needed initiative we have to start by forgetting everything we think we know and be open minded enough to embrace what is unclear.
First off we have to be mindful that everything isn’t always as it appears. The most common shock of a suicide tragedy is believing that the person who took their own life was the happiest person in the world when they really weren’t. All I could remember when I received the news of my friend’s suicide was how he always had a big smile on his face when we were in the first grade together. We also see this a lot with the famous people in the world who bring us the most joy. There is always that one celebrity who has taken their own life then when the news breaks the first thing we say is how could so and so have done such a thing when they seemed like the happiest person in the world and brought so much joy to others?
Well now that there is the key to the mystery. We have to be mindful that a lot of the smiles and laughs we see on the faces we adore the most are often times just fronts that are hiding pain and despondency on the inside. Why would they do that? Because though they may be loved, they may also not feel loved or that they don’t have a friend to open up and express their pain with. It’s up to those of us who still live to be that friend.
We have to be more aware of our surroundings when thinking about the people whom with we engage. The signs aren’t always cryptic. Very often we can see when something is wrong with someone we know. Maybe you know of something they’re going through or maybe you can just see them wearing a mask of misery on the regular. It’s important to reach out and connect. Be a human diary if you will. Now this may take some doing because many people aren’t interested in being an open book. You’ll have to be patient and give them a little bit of yourself and in return they may be open to giving you a lot of themselves.
A big solution to combating suicide is changing our perspective when the self inflicted permanent deed is already done. Suicide is a very sensitive topic and discussing its effects can be most agonizing. Anger is a common reaction, we know the responses that’ll come: “why didn’t they reach out to me?” “How could they have done something so cowardly and empty?”. Though it’s understandable why one would feel this way, these type of responses only exacerbate the issue. No one wants to feel penalized for their pain, which is exactly why they are afraid to reach out.
Don’t be the friend of condemnation. Instead, try being the friend of consolation. Doing so will inspire people to be more open with you without fear of judgment. We have a better chance of beating the epidemic of suicide when we mold ourselves into better friends who help our loved ones stand against the tide. Be a friend of patience, be a friend who will listen, be a friend of grace to those who feel hopeless and maybe they will have hope that there is a reason to live.
~~Dedicated to all who have battled suicide and have been lost to suicide.
About the Creator
Joe Patterson
Hi I'm Joe Patterson. I am a writer at heart who is a big geek for film, music, and literature, which have all inspired me to be a writer. I rap, write stories both short and long, and I'm also aspiring to be an author and a filmmaker.
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Comments (1)
This is so tragic… I’m so sorry about your friend. Very true… ‘ The most common shock of a suicide tragedy is believing that the person who took their own life was the happiest person in the world when they really weren’t.’ Excellent exhortation: ‘ Be a friend of patience, be a friend who will listen, be a friend of grace to those who feel hopeless and maybe they will have hope that there is a reason to live.’ We each need to do our part.