I Read 40 Books this Year - These are my Bottom Three

Ahh, welcome back! I do hope you’re rested and refreshed. I’ve poured you a cup for this next conversation, as I’m sure you’ll need one. I know I will.

I, the Judicious Vicar, did enjoy our last conversation, and it would warm my old heart if a few of those scrolls found their way into your reading lists for this upcoming year. If you’re new to this conversation, I recommend you catch up on the first part below before diving in. I’m loathe to waste our precious time retreading the rubric here.

Today, we shall discuss those scrolls and books that, well, to be frank, I found dreadful.

Now, I admit I am but a man. I also admit that, in matters of taste, it is the patron who holds the final word on quality. Still, I hope you enjoy these musings whether you find them disagreeable or not. I have also included a compilation of all works at the end with brief tidbits on each. If there is a particular book you would like to hear more about, ask below, and I may indulge you.

Without further ado, here are my three least favorite books of this year.

3. The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane

I did say I may have a certain disdain for the classics. Though many I read this year ranked well, I find myself too accustomed to modern writing for the vast majority of them to really stick. Such is the case with this American Classic. There is no one category that it particularly lacks in (with the exception of my overall enjoyment), but when compared to the likes of All Quiet on the Western Front, a novel that is more or less of the same vintage, it’s staggering how little realism comes across in these pages. The characters are fine. The prose is fine. The plot is fine to good. But the lack of real experience in the setting really detracts from the themes and tone of the story. Its strengths lie in its textbook plotting and its ability to capture the tone of the era. There are a few areas of true weakness across the ten categories, but also no notable strengths.

I understand why this is an important book, but it’s not the type of book that’s going to instill a love of literature at the time when it’s first introduced. Then, once reading it as an adult, the thematic disconnect is jarring. If you enjoy it, fine, but if you want a war novel, there are better examples. If you want a hero’s journey, there are better examples. This, like many other relics of the time, belongs in a museum.

Overall: 62/100

2. The Prestige by Christopher Priest

Two important disclosures: The Prestige is my favorite movie of all time, and I did not know it was based on a book until this year. Naturally, I picked up the book right after I caught that detail in the credits while rewatching the movie with my wife.

I also think it's always critical to judge source material and adapted material independently of each other.

I’m also throwing that notion out this tower window right now.

It’s impossible for me to rate this well, as the movie does every single thing in it better. The interpersonal conflict between Angier and Bordon? Better in the movie. The internal struggles against obsession by Robert Angier? Better in the movie. The supernatural elements? You guessed it. The plot twist, aka the pledge, turn, and final reveal? The movie once again blows the glass off the water tank (which you would get if you saw the movie). Even the Epistolary format, which forms most of the book’s structure, is done better in the movie. I cannot in good conscience recommend this when the same story is told in a better fashion in a medium that requires less investment.

To its credit, the tone matches that of the era well, especially given the time jumping, and the prose is satisfactory. Overall, I can’t rate it too poorly because the characters, the conflict, and the overall plot are fine to good. But at the end of it, it's like comparing a gourmet burger from Kuma's Corner in Chicago to a Big Mac - the ingredients may be similar, but the final products are in different zip codes.

Overall: 58/100

1. Nona the Ninth by Tasmyn Muir

Dodges bits of whatever projectile was nearest your reach.

Fans of this series are probably saying, “Well, he just doesn’t get it,” or “Of course, he wouldn’t like it.”

Fair. As I said, in matters of taste, it is the patron who holds the final word on quality, but hey, I’m the one on the soapbox now! It must be said, too, that I loved Gideon the Ninth. I had it at an 84/100, a universal recommendation as a great novel that explores some very human themes of loss, loneliness, and camaraderie. Harrow the Ninth was a bit lower at 77/100, but still, a good book that I praised for its uniqueness.

This one, though…my goodness.

One of the fundamental problems of necromancy in fantasy is that it can diminish the sacrifice of self, an extremely important theme in the first entry into this series. There is probably a great story here, and where I think the series is going – a story about how to uncouple and retain a sense of self after sacrificing everything for another. All of that is grand!

The problem is that this series has become, to borrow a phrase from Pierce Brown, so gorydamn confusing. I don’t know who is who anymore, and frankly, I don’t care. I could not tell you why I should care about a single character in this book or series anymore. There just seems to be no consequence for anything, and therefore, every promise and payoff falls flat. I despised it so much that I will likely not pick up the rest of the series as it comes out.

And before you make a jape about my literacy, my favorite author is Tolkien, and I’m currently tearing through Malazan. I have an insatiable appetite for confusion, for grandness, for wonder. This book has made me not want to slog through it any further because I'm not convinced any payoff is worth it.

On the redeeming front, I may not like her story, but I’m not sure if there’s a person alive who can wield the English language as well as Muir can. Her novels are unique in both content and form, which I praised highly for the first two entries of The Locked Tomb, but Icarus may have flown too close to the sun on this one. But even that skill of quill cannot penetrate the inky morass that this story now dwells in.

Overall: 36/100

And there you have it! I do hope you have enjoyed this conversation. Below is the complete list with a short notation on each. If there are any you wish for me to break down in-depth, please comment below, and I will put together a piece going through my analysis category by category.

1. A Storm of Swords by George RR Martin - 97/100 - see link above
2. The Reluctant Fundamentalist by Mohsin Hamid - 90/100 - see link above
3. Animal Farm by George Orwell - 89/100 - see link above
4. The Wager by David Grann - 88/100 - see link above
5. All Quiet on the Western Front by Erich Maria Remarque - 88/100 - see link above
6. Poilu by Louis Barthas - 86/100 - For those historically inclined, this is a must-read book.
7. V for Vendetta by Alan Moore - 85/100 - There’s a reason that this resonates so loudly to this day. I’m glad I read it after Watchmen though to get used to the medium.
8. Deadhouse Gates by Steven Erikson - 83/100 - Fixes every complaint I had in Gardens of the Moon. My favorite epic fantasy book since A Dance of Dragons.
9. In The Weeds by Tom Vitale - 82/100 - As a Bourdain lover, this book was interesting. A compelling look at the man behind the camera. Tom is a legend in his own right.
10. Leviathan Falls by James SA Corey - 82/100 - Second best entry into the series. Sticks the landing, which I always give bonus points to.
11. Golden Son by Pierce Brown - 81/100 - If John Wick was a book, this might be it. Hit all the right notes for a great action science fiction novel.
12. Tiamat's Wrath by James SA Corey - 81/100 - Not sure why Amazon stopped producing these. The part after the time jump is my favorite overall arch of the series.
13. The Gardens of the Moon by Steven Erikson - 79/100 - I like how this series starts a lot. It’s also admittedly confusing. Stick with it until the end of book one of Deadhouse Gates, and you will be rewarded.
14. Exit West by Mohsin Hamid - 79/100 - This one takes a little bit to find its legs, but another book that everyone should read.
15. Persepolis Rising by James SA Corey - 79/100 - I liked how this one ended, but spends a lot of time setting up the new world.
16. Clash of Kings by George RR Martin - 79/100 - My least favorite ASOIAF book, but still raised it 5 points on reread. It’s mind-boggling how much of this series, especially when compared to the show, happens off-screen yet is done so satisfactorily.
17. Watchmen by Alan Moore - 79/100 - An easier read than V for Vendetta, but I think it’s almost too far-reaching. I’m happy this was the first true graphic novel I read, and serves as a great gateway piece.
18. The Colour of Magic by Terry Pratchett - 78/100 - My first encounter with Pratchett. A wonderfully splendid little book that you won’t regret reading.
19. No Country for Old Men by Cormack McCarthy - 78/100 - The exact opposite of The Colour of Magic. The movie adaptation is a perfect movie IMO, and unlike The Prestige, the book holds its own as a modern classic. McCarthy’s style doesn’t land with me.
20. 2001: a Space Odyssey by Arthur C. Clarke - 77/100 - A book that suffers nowhere, a foundational science fiction classic. The beginning and the end drag a bit.
21. Morning Star by Pierce Brown - 75/100 - My favorite part of this book is up until I read the last page, I had no idea where it was going to go. A little rushed at parts, and the characters can often be flat, but it all plays into advancing a great plot.
22. The Scarlett Letter by Nathaniel Hawthorne - 75/100 - This one jumped a full 30 points since I first read it, but I’ll be honest: I probably actively read half of it when it was in the school curriculum. It’s a direct story that somehow has become more pertinent over the years.
23. Lord of the Flies by William Golding - 73/100 - A classic I was never assigned in school. Again, deficient nowhere but not overly strong anywhere.
24. The Last Battle by Stephen Harding - 73/100 - A compelling overview of the fascinating battle of Castle Itter. Unfortunately, the real-life events don’t live up to what the author builds up to–something The Wager navigates brilliantly.
25. Self-Analysis and 30 Other Poems by Fernando Pessoa - 73/100 - I became acquainted with Pessoa on the streets of Lisbon, and he is fascinating. My resolution this year is to read more poetry. Drop a link in the comments section if you have any published, and I’ll buy them.
26. Red Rising by Pierce Brown - 72/100 - I actually hated this book…up until the moment they got to the Institute.
27. Cibolla Burn by James SA Corey - 72/100 - Very torn on this one. It’s the most unique entry in the series and struggles to stand on its own at points. But also is greatly enhanced by the last three books.
28. Nemesis Games by James SA Corey - 70/100 - I’m not a fan of the Free Navy arc. Makes Naomi a way deeper character, though.
29. Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir - 70/100 - If you like Weir, you’ll like this one. Better than Artemis – not in the same stratosphere as The Martian.
30. Iron Gold by Pierce Brown - 68/100 - The main problem with this one is in expanding the POV base it gets away from the pacing and tone that I enjoyed most in the first three books.
31. The Great Gatsby by F. Scott Fitzgerald - 68/100 - Once upon a time, this was my least favorite book ever. I’m glad I’ve grown up a bit from an angsty teenager to an angsty adult.
32. Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde by Robert Louis Stevenson - 67/100 - Ultimately fine, its biggest strength, like all of Stevenson’s works, is capturing the tone and tenor of the era.
33. Babylon's Ashes by James SA Corey - 67/100 - Least favorite in the Expanse series. A weak arc ended weakly.
34. Anthony Bourdain: The Last Interview by Helen Rosner - 67/100 - It’s a series of interviews. If you’re interested in the person, like I am, you’ll enjoy it. Otherwise, nothing earth-shattering here.
35. Heart Of Darkness by Joseph Conrad - 66/100 - I may revisit this grade and book at a later date. The plot and theme are influential, and it has a certain je ne sais quoi that sticks deep in me and influences me. But the actual execution is kind of bland.
36. Utopia by Sir Thomas Moore - 63/100 - Ponderous and academic, but I am a sucker for the Tudor era. There’s a lot of philosophical intrigue here. Still boring.
37. The Red Badge of Courage by Stephen Crane - 62/100 - see above
38. The Prestige by Christopher Priest - 58/100 - see above
39. Nona the Ninth by Tasmyn Muir - 36/100 - see above
40. Rouge Republic by William C Davis - NA - was unable to finish as my copy met an unexpected spontaneous submersion. An interesting look into a wildly misunderstood part of US history, but it speculates too much.

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