Ridley's Dragoning For Dummies
There weren’t always dragons in the valley.
The little shits tumbled in here, all flappy wings and drunk from the Eastern methyl pits. A small swarm, just a few years ago, is now a full infestation. Thousands of them, starting fires, eating through fences, getting stuck in chimneys and air vents. And Christ-on-a-kebab, they shit everywhere, their digestive systems made of cast iron, letting them eat anything and everything imaginable. The only other creature I know with such an indiscriminate appetite is my best friend Toby, who everyone has taken to calling Tubby, for obvious reasons. They don’t do it when I’m around. I’ve smashed a few faces. I’m not so good with words, but my fists. Let’s just say, my fists are multi-lingual.
